


I Do Like It When You Come Around

by pequinessa



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Falling Out of Love, SLOW AF, Slow Burn, i'm so sorry about this, there's fluff too!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 21:43:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 40,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14458371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pequinessa/pseuds/pequinessa
Summary: Moon Taeil is Lee Taeyong's one and only flaw.





	I Do Like It When You Come Around

**Author's Note:**

> this got a lot longer than expected
> 
> (This is for my baby girl, Amelia<3 Thanks a lot hun for putting up with my ranting all summer)

 

The sun shone lightly above the heavy mass of clouds and though spring was just around the corner, the weak sun rays weren't enough to dispel the cold winter blanket just yet. Fortunately, the freezing breeze that had threatened to blow the whole morning had stopped a while ago.

Relief washed all over Taeyong when he no longer felt the chilling wind blow right through his clothes. Taeil had told him to grab something a bit warmer than his grey hoodie, but he had dismissed his worry nonchalantly. After all, the day before had been such a warm day, and the younger male prefered not to carry around a thick coat during the whole day.

Taeyong’s teeth hadn't stopped chattering on their way to Taeil's college, and his boyfriend was torn between nagging at him or just going back to their flat to grab a coat for him. The argument died down when Taeyong grabbed his hand and sped up a little their pace a little. Taeil only sighed, already used to his boyfriend's antics. Taeyong didn’t feel like going back;he had places where he needed to be.

  
After dropping Taeil at his college and then running to his own, Taeyong stood in front of the Languages Department, debating internally whether to enter or not.

   
A sigh escaped through his thin lips.

  
To begin with, languages weren't Taeyong's forte. Despite his parents’ efforts to make him take English or Chinese lessons when he was a child, Taeyong wasn't a fan of learning foreign languages. Korean was hard enough as it was, and he'd rather spend his time doing something less mentally exhausting. He had always found comfort in physical, energy-draining activities,  ; the burning of his limbs after an intense dance session was all it took to bring him back to earth, to wind him down. And, as if it weren't enough that he was a shy kid, he had always had trouble to express his mind,, seeing as his words weren't a faithful mirror of all of his thoughts. Therefore, once he discovered the wonders of paper and pen, his mother encouraged him to write down all of the things hidden behind his throat. As he grew up, he realised dancing and writing were his thing.

  
And actually, he prided himself on being a very artistic person despite pursuing such a generic major like Economics. But again, anything related to foreign languages in general wasn't exactly his cup of tea.

  
However bad he was at languages, his course of studies still required him to study a second one. Taeyong had been nothing but practical when the moment came. If he was to be an economist in the future, it was obvious that sooner or later he would have to deal with his overseas neighbours. Korea and Japan's relationship had improved a lot, and his professors wouldn't shut up about how Japan's constant and rapid growth in the international market would benefit them in the long term. Having strong bonds with one of the current leading countries was just the tip of the iceberg.

 

So when presented with the list of languages he could pick, he didn't even hesitate to tick the white box next to a low quality printed "Japanese" as it was the only one he had a remote interest in, plus its practicality outweighed everything else. He wasn't a big anime fan, but he still enjoyed Ghibli's movies, so at least the language wouldn't sound entirely foreign to his ear and hey, he could even practice with the famous studio's films.

 

Of course, as any decision taken on a poor basis, Taeyong came to the realisation that he should have given it some thought, as the Japanese language was a lot more difficult than what he had initially thought.

 

He knew he should have taken the English course, at least Johnny would have been able to guide him through that.

 

"Are you gonna stand there for another 30 minutes or are you actually going to come in?" a slightly nasal voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

  
He flushed when he realised he had been standing outside the glass door without moving, like a complete creep. How nice.

   
"S-sorry," he managed to stutter.

  
The person talking to him just smiled, amused. He was speaking to him while holding the door opened. Taeyong noticed the abnormal amount of earrings on each of the person's ear when the sun came out of hiding and shone for a fleeting moment. The silver flash that came from the earrings was far too distracting not to be noticed.

  
"Suit yourself," this person, despite looking a bit intimidating with his demeanor, shiny and obviously bleached black hair and large amount of piercings, had quite a childish voice. Taeyong too noticed a slight edge to his words. A foreigner, perhaps?

 

"Excuse me, maybe you could help me?" The male in front of him stopped right in his track and turned his head to look back at Taeyong, the door's latch still held tightly in his hand. He studied the other with an amused glint in his eyes and grinned lightly.

 

"Maybe," he announced. "Depending on what you need. Come with me and we’ll see." He didn't wait to hear Taeyong's response and just entered the building.

 

Taeyong followed him inside after a moment of hesitation.

 

Once he caught up to him, the other boy turned his head to him.

  
"I'm Ten, by the way."

  
"Taeyong."

 

Ten hummed lightly and nodded his head. He moved effortlessly through the sea of students, taking sharp turns at every corner. Taeyong didn't have the slightest idea that the Language department of his college was so large; it was like a maze.

 

"I guess you need a tutor?" Ten asked while guiding him to the third floor.

 

Taeyong just looked at him, surprise evident on his features. Ten let out a short laugh.

 

"I've never seen you around. Either you needed a tutor or you were a new student, and you certainly don't look like a first year."

 

"Right," Taeyong smiled. "I need a tutor. Think you can help me? I mean, I don't even know where we are now and you look like you know your way around."

 

Ten laughed again and Taeyong found himself laughing quietly as well, the happy sounds coming out of Ten's mouth were quite infectious after all.  
 

"Sure," he answered, eyes crinkling up.

 

Suddenly, Ten entered an empty classroom and once Taeyong entered too, he motioned for him to take a seat.  
 

"So, Taeyong," Ten began, sitting down in the desk in front of him. " You should actually ask for help to the Student Council, but then you would have to spend half a day waiting for them to tell you the same things I can tell you right now."

Taeyong nodded a bit stiffly and gnawed at his lip. For some reason, Ten sitting down on the table made him feel uncomfortable and, really, he didn't want to tell him off when he had so kindly offered his help. He couldn't, however, help himself when he opened his mouth.

 

"Maybe you can sit down on a chair? You can break the desk if you sit on them and what if you fall?" He tried his best not to sound like he was nagging, and instead offering helpful advice.

 

Ten just widened his eyes and, for a brief moment, Taeyong feared he might have upset him.

 

His fears were proven wrong, however, when Ten let out a snort followed by a sonorous laugh.

 

"Oh my God," He said in English, wiping the imaginary tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. "I thought you were strained or something, the face you made when I sat down...and then," Ten laugh a bit more, as if remembering something. "You're funny," he declared, stepping down from the desk and sitting on the chair next to Taeyong. "I wouldn't bother to listen to you, but you actually looked as if you had smelled a fart or something."

 

Taeyong felt his cheeks heat up at being so blatantly laughed at. He cleared his throat in a weak attempt to drop the issue and scratched his arm, a nervous habit he couldn't grow out of.  
 

"So..." he trailed off, feeling a bit self- conscious now that his weird personality was coming to the forefront. .

 

Ten's dark eyes still shimmered with amusement, but he decided against the idea of continuing to pick on Taeyong. 

 

“Right," Ten smiled brightly at him. "The Student Council will tell you to write down your name, your major, what is the language you are having trouble with, days you are available and such. And within the next 15 days they will contact you to inform they have found a tutor for you, but first you will have to meet up to clear some details and all that boring shit."

  
Taeyong widen his eyes, surprised.

 

"Fifteen days?" He didn't have 15 days, he would rather get to it as soon as possible. The mid term exam was only a few days away and he still couldn't tell the difference between the kanjis for business and busy. If he failed, he would have to enroll in the subject the next semester as well. 

 

"Yep." Maybe Ten had read the desperation in his face, because he then added, "It's a good thing you came across me, though. I can surely get you a new tutor in no time.”

 

"Really?" Ten nodded, and Taeyong smiled shyly.

 

"I have my connections.” Ten wiggled his eyebrows. “So tell me, what language are you having trouble with?"

 

"Japanese."

 

Ten's face fell.

 

"Oh... I thought it was English or something. I mean, that's the most picked language."  He scratched his nape, suddenly a bit embarrassed.  
-"Is there a problem?" Taeyong asked, concerned evident in his voice. Maybe Ten wouldn't be able to help him at all, and he would have to go to the Student Council and wait for almost two weeks. Maybe Ten was just messing with him. Maybe Ten had realised what a waste of time it'd be to teach to a complete stranger.

 

"I'm from Thailand, you see. But I'm pretty fluent in English as well, and...well, I thought I could coach you. I mean, why'd you pick Japanese? It sucks." Ten said, watching him with an accusatory demeanor, as if everything was Taeyong's fault.

 

Taeyong was at a loss of words. First this Thai boy offered to help him out of the blue, which well, he appreciated it, but now he is telling him he can’t help him and what's more, he insults his choices? Unbelievable. He agreed with Ten though, Japanese did suck. Big time.

 

Taeyong sighed, feeling his chill skin when he rubbed his forehead with the tip of his fingers.

  
"Right." The metallic sound of the chair's legs moving against the floor bounced off the walls when Taeyong stood up. "Thanks anyways, Ten. I better get going or else I-"

 

"Wait!" Ten cut him off, making Taeyong frown. He didn't like being interrupted. “You said Japanese, right?” His eyes shone with a newfound excitement. Taeyong nodded, slowly.

 

Ten clicked his tongue and clapped his hands once, clearly enthusiastic about something.

 

“I have the perfect tutor for you.”

 

{-}

 

Taeyong learned that whenever Ten was excited about something, his Korean turned a bit messy, with a strong accent. It was endearing, really; though Taeyong would have appreciated it a bit  it more if it weren’t for the fact that he had been trying to interpret everything the other was saying. Ten’s words spilled out of his mouth like a rain of bullets, hit after hit, not giving enough time to take cover. He was still trying to process the main details for tomorrow’s meeting with his new tutor when the boy had announced he had other places to be. After exchanging numbers, Ten had rushed out of the building with a loud,  _“You owe me, Taeyong!”._

 

In reality, he had only understood half of what the other boy had tried to say to him, but he wanted to believed he got the important details.

 

Nakamoto Yuta, class 3, tomorrow at 15:30pm.

 

He only hoped his tutor was a bit better at Korean than Ten.

 

 

{-}

  
The sound of the door being opened startled Taeil, who was currently sitting in their dining-room, writing some notes. 

 

“Tough day?” he asked his tired-looking boyfriend when he leaned down to peck him on the lips.

 

Taeyong just nodded and took off his bag, leaving it on the hook by the door. Economy III had literally kicked his ass today, as if Japanese wasn’t enough.

 

“I got a new tutor,” he said and sighed while sitting down on the free chair.

 

“That’s good news,” Taeil resumed his writing after smiling at the other. “When are you meeting up with them?”

 

“Tomorrow.”

 

“Oh, wow. That’s pretty quick.” Taeyong laid his head on the table, sighing contently when he felt Taeil’s fingers stroking lightly his hair.

 

“Some crazy Thai boy found it for me. I hope this new tutor is alright, though.” Taeil decided against further questioning Taeyong about this ‘crazy Thai boy’ as he clearly wasn’t up for conversation and he seemed pretty tired. He patted his younger boyfriend on the head  and went back to his notes, chuckling when Taeyong started to whine for some sort of response.

 

“Let’s hope so.”

 

{-}

 

15:45 and Taeyong was already regretting having accepted Ten’s help. He knew it would have been better to just go the Student Council and wait for two weeks. In the meantime, he could pity himself and try to save Economy III. He didn’t have to fail two classes; at least by the time he was given a new tutor he could start from zero.

 

The sudden noise of the door being opened up startled him a little. When he looked up,  a boy with auburn hair was standing at the frame of the door, panting heavily.

 

“Lee Taeyong?” he asked, gasping.

 

“That’d be me.”

 

“Great! I’m sorry, I forgot what classroom we were supposed to meet up and that fucker Ten couldn’t even remember.” Taeyong’s -apparently- new tutor approached him, tossing his bag on the floor next to the other’s desk. He grabbed a chair and turned it around, facing Taeyong and resting his hands on the back of the seat.

 

“Nakamoto Yuta?” Taeyong was slightly awestruck when the boy in front of him smiled, showing a perfect row of white, pearly teeth. His mouth adopted a really nice shape when he stretched his lips.

 

“That’d be me,” he agreed, nodding in the process. “Ten told me you needed help?”

 

“Is his name really Ten?” Taeyong blurted out, unable to hold the question he had asked himself when he first hear the Thai boy’s name.

 

Yuta’s eyes widened, and he let out a laugh.

 

“That’d be funny, right? If his true name was Ten... His name is Chittaphon.” Taeyong nodded, faintly remembering something about nicknames and names about Thai people.

 

Yuta observed him, a smirk coming through his features.

 

“Ten told me you were a funny little guy.”

 

Taeyong flushed a bit, remembering the desk incident. Great.

 

“So,” he cleared his throat, “ are you one of the tutors from the Student Council that coaches students?”

 

“No, ew. I hate them, such boring smartasses.”

 

Taeyong frowned, confused.

 

“How come Ten said you were a tutor?”

 

“Pretty sure Ten didn’t say that. He might have told you I would tutor you, but I’m not a registered tutor.”

 

“Why are you helping me, then?”

 

Yuta rested his head on his palm and grinned at him.

 

“I _might_ owe Ten some favours. And I guess he liked you well enough to try to help you. Of course, he had to drag me in as well. He thrives on making my life miserable.”

 

Taeyong felt a pang of guilt. Maybe this Yuta guy had other things to take care of, and instead here he was, trying to tutor someone he didn’t know nor had any relation with.

 

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to force yourself to help me. I can always ask for help to the Student Council.”

 

Yuta dismissed him with a wave of his hand.

 

“It’s fine, plus you’re cute enough to make up for the lost time.” Yuta chuckled at Taeyong’s shocked expression when he winked at him. Before he could say something the other bursted out laughing, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. It’s always nice to have extra credits. It’s a win-win situation. Also, you’ll never find such a great and handsome tutor like me.”

 

Taeyong snorted and Yuta only grinned.

 

 

{-}

 

Yuta, Taeyong learn, came from Osaka. He had come to Korea three years ago to enroll in Seoul National University. Taeyong couldn’t repress his admiration when Yuta confessed to him he came to Seoul without knowing a single word in Korean. His Korean was now flawless, he barely had any accent, and he even made puns. It was admirable. Taeyong couldn’t even picture himself travelling to another country in which he wouldn’t even be able to communicate.

 

He also learnt Yuta was a talking machine; he wouldn’t stop blabbering even when Taeyong was trying to concentrate on the questions Yuta had made for him. It was fine, though. He had a soothing voice, and didn’t need Taeyong to reply to him at all.

 

Despite teasing Taeyong’s pronunciation and laughing loudly at Taeyong’s ‘silly mistakes,’ Yuta was a competent teacher. Surprisingly, he knew a lot of vocabulary in Korean related to Economy, and he was able to teach Taeyong properly the equivalents in Japanese. He even taught him some expressions that were widely used and how to tell apart some confusing terms. He couldn’t help but admire Yuta more. Taeyong barely knew his language as a native Korean speaker, and here was Yuta, shooting complex terms in Japanese and Korean as if it weren’t a big deal.

 

When he had asked him why he knew so much vocabulary, Yuta answered he was majoring in International Studies and that he had a few classes related to Economy.

 

_“International Studies? Wow, that’s so cool,” Taeyong watched in wonder at Yuta._

_“It is, I like it,” Yuta had gifted him a soft smile before adding, “You must be quite smart, though I mean, Economy isn’t for everyone.”_

_“I’m just in it for the money.”_

 

Yuta had laughed loudly, and strangely, Taeyong had felt smug that he could elicit such a reaction from him. He didn’t consider himself funny at all, and people often told him he tried too hard. But Yuta had been laughing nonstop the whole evening, and his laughter was the most contagious thing Taeyong had ever heard.

 

Even after Yuta said that that was all for the day, the pair kept on talking for a long time. Fortunately, Taeyong didn’t have any classes that evening and neither did Yuta.

 

It was a new experience, talking to someone like Yuta. Taeyong recognized that he was lacking in the social interaction field, and he didn’t talk with many people; moreover, the people whom he talked with were more on the reserved side. Maybe that was why he felt so fascinated with the Japanese boy. Despite making the most stupid comments Taeyong had ever heard, he knew how to carry a conversation easily.

 

Taeil had noticed straight away his good mood once he entered the flat.

 

“Good day?” He asked, smiling brightly at Taeyong after picking up on his apparent high-spirits. His boyfriend nodded and kissed him hard on the mouth, surprising him a bit. Taeyong wasn’t one to display his affection like this. Still, it felt nice

 

Taeil felt his heart swelling impossibly wide with love at Taeyong’s blinding smile.

 

“Very good, indeed.”

 

{-}

 

During the following weeks Taeyong kept meeting up with Yuta for coaching. Slowly, but steadily, he found himself understanding the foreign language more and more. It helped that Yuta had started making him talk in Japanese a couple of days ago. It had been embarrassing at first, because Yuta sucked at pretending that Taeyong’s accent wasn’t awful. It wasn’t like he was trying, though, if his notorious mocking smirks and snorts were anything to go by.

 

_“If you keep laughing at me like that you’re going to traumatize me and then I won’t ever speak Japanese again,” Taeyong whined loudly, ears red._

_Yuta just chuckled and looked at him, eyes glinting._

_“Can’t help it. You make the most ridiculous faces when trying to imitate me.”_

 

Taeyong had realised Yuta must have been the clown of his class in high school. He was the type to laugh every time someone made a mistake, however insignificant it was,  and it became evident his brain-to-mouth filter had been broken for sometime.

 

His bluntness stunned Taeyong at first, so different from what he was used to. As they spent more and more time together, he realized that he was only spending more time with Taeil. And his boyfriend was the type to speak calmly, as both of them hated confrontations. He wasn’t use to people spitting their thoughts with such ease.

 

Nevertheless, Taeyong felt himself growing fond of Yuta’s rantings and his continuous teasing. He would love to introduce Taeil to such a character. He would pay to see Taeil’s reaction when he realised exactly what type of person Yuta was.

 

His boyfriend was so calm and collected, somebody his mere presence was enough to soothe even the most stressed person. Taeil had such a way to warm people’s heart, it amazed Taeyong to no end. It had been one of the main reasons why he had fallen for him in the first place.

 

He was sweet and caring, and his heart didn’t have an ounce of malice in it. Never one to tease anyone, never one to pick a fight.

 

Taeil was shyer than Taeyong, and even a bit more awkward. He found it endearing, however, and he liked it more when Taeil stood on a stage. His usual coy persona faded away every time he stood in front of the audience and sang his heart out, eyes gaining a confident glint.  His voice, afte rall, had been the thing to get him into Seoul Institute of the Arts.

 

Taeil’s voice had always been Taeyong’s greatest pleasure. It entertained him limitlessly, it brightened his days and inspired him endlessly.

 

Despite now pursuing Economics, Taeyong never stopped writing, and he had turned to lyric writing in recent years. He had dozens of songs he was certain would never see the sunlight. It didn’t matter, though, for he only wrote to appease his heart.

 

Taeil was Taeyong’s biggest fan, and would pushed him to keep writing and even encouraged him to submit his lyrics to his university’s music department.

 

He had told Yuta, by error, that he liked writing lyrics. Yuta had been teasing him about how ugly his handwriting was. He had muttered a, _“Looks ways worse when I write lyrics, though.”_ His tutor had hit him on the shoulder, excited at the newfound information. He had demanded him to show him some of his lyrics.

 

_“I would have never pegged you for an artistic person, to be honest. I mean, you study Economics,” Yuta said, pensively, looking attentively at Taeyong._

_“Never judge a book by its cover.” Yuta snorted at the cliché saying. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” Taeyong said, smiling slightly._

_“Tell me, then. Who are you, Lee Taeyong?”_

Incredibly, he had spilled lots of things about himself to Yuta. It was uncharacteristically open of him, yet he trusted the boy. He didn’t know why, maybe it had to be because his eyes, which no matter how hard they teased him at times, they never judged him. Or even his actions. Yuta might have acted quite childish at times, but he knew when to take things seriously, and he always had such mature thoughts about a range of different topics.

 

He hadn’t revealed all of himself to Taeyong, of course. They were just getting to know each other, but still he told Yuta things he knew he had a hard time expressing. It scared him a bit, how easy Yuta coerced things from him.

 

Yet, there was something appealing in exposing himself to somebody he barely knew. It was exciting, daring even, to trust Yuta some of his inner thoughts and feelings.

 

Taeyong quickly realized that he felt excited about his every interaction with Yuta.

 

{-}

 

“How do you know Ten?” Taeyong asked, after an intense study session. They were currently chilling in a café nearby their campus . 

 

Ten sometimes appeared during his study sessions to talk to Yuta privately, but mainly to annoy his tutor, according to Yuta. Taeyong didn’t mind, though. He liked seeing the two friends bickering; it was nice seeing someone keeping up with Yuta’s sense of humor and witty personality. They called each other all sorts of names and even got physical sometimes. However, Ten would cling to Yuta in the end, proclaiming he couldn’t live without his bitter ass and that he better stop spending time with Taeyong.

 

_“You’re practically cheating on me, you know that? Sometimes I have a hard time remembering your face.” Yuta rolled his eyes at his friend and snorted loudly._

_“It’s not cheating if we aren’t dating.”_

_“You’re friend-cheating me. I’m being replaced with somebody who said ‘I love eating dog’s shit’ to his Japanese professor.” Taeyong’s cheeks heated up, recalling that time Yuta had thought it would be funny to teach him such a thing. He had innocently asked him how to say ‘Thanks for helping me out.’ His Japanese professor had nearly kicked him out of the class. Yuta had bought him coffee for a week, as a sort of apology. Taeyong knew better than that, though. Yuta wasn’t sorry at all._

_“At least he doesn’t have such an annoying voice, Alvin.”_

Ten had called Yuta all sorts of names and then stormed out of the room. The Japanese student then assured Taeyong that Ten couldn’t stay mad at him for long.

 

Yuta stopped drinking from his disgustingly sweet mochaccino and rested his face on his palm.

 

“At a party. Ten was shitfaced and could barely speak Korean. I was in the same boat, but at least I still had my dinner in my stomach. As you might have noticed, Ten’s Korean gets a bit hard to understand when he gets excited.” Taeyong nodded, recalling their first meeting. “Well, imagine when he gets drunk. It’s worse. So, there I was, watching Ten puking his guts out and noticed he was alone and well, I tried to help him because you know, been there.” Taeyong snorted.

 

“Surprisingly, it doesn’t surprise me.” Yuta made a ball with his napkin and threw it at Taeyong’s smug face.

 

“Shut up.” He cleared his voice and continued. “As I was saying, before your impolite ass interrupted me, I was trying to be a decent human being by helping Ten. Long story short, we ended up in a cab trying to tell the taxi driver in Thai, Japanese, and broken Korean where I lived. After that, I kinda got stuck with Ten.”

 

Taeyong could only look in amusement at Yuta. He had never been one to drink nor to attend parties, so he always found Yuta’s wild stories interesting.

 

“Taeyong,” Yuta suddenly called him. His voice was soft and with a hint of shyness, a stark contrast between his usual tone of voice. “I know next week is actually our last meeting but…” he trailed off, hands playing with the almost empty plastic cup. “Would you like to keep on meeting? Like friends.” Taeyong was too surprised by the request, and Yuta misinterpreted his silence. “I mean! If you want? I just...I think we have a great time everytime we hang out...I understand if you don’t-”

 

“Sure.” Taeyong interrupted Yuta’s rant. “Sorry if I made you think I didn’t want to, it’s just-”, Yuta nodded, encouraging him. “You’re so much fun? I don’t really think I have something to offer to you.”

 

Taeyong scratched the back of neck. It was true. Yuta was always the one to lead the conversations between them and the one to make stupid comments to make the both of them laugh. Yuta had a lot of things that Taeyong lacked, and he didn’t consider himself  “fun” enough to be around his tutor.

 

“Taeyong,” Yuta’s voice suddenly became serious, “You’re someone I really want to hang out with. Maybe you’re not the funny type of guy, but I don’t need that. Ten and Jaehyun’s asses are enough for me. I truly enjoy your company, so don’t sweat it.” Taeyong mirrored Yuta’s dazzling smile and nodded, feeling reassured.

 

“Alright, then. Don’t go regretting hanging out with me,” Taeyong warned, face serious and voice even more so.

 

“I don’t think I will.” Yuta rested his face on his palm, tilting his head and smiling brightly at him.

 

“Good.”

 

 

{-}

 

 

“Where does your significant other study?”

 

Taeyong watched Yuta with an opened mouth. He hadn’t told Yuta he had a boyfriend, not because he thought of it as a secret but because they hadn’t touched the boyfriend or girlfriend topic yet.

 

Yuta snorted at Taeyong’s dumb expression.

 

“Don’t look so surprised. I mean, you’re quite hot and kind, and you haven’t tried to make a move on me, despite my incredibly dashing looks. Either you’re in a relationship or you’re plain blind.”

 

Taeyong snorted and hit Yuta on the arm.

“You’re so full of yourself, I can’t believe it. But, for the record, I have a boyfriend.”

 

“See? I knew. I’m irresistible. Of course you had a boyfriend.”

 

“Shut up, you’re the worst.” Despite the bite on his voice, Taeyong smiled. Somehow, knowing that Yuta found him attractive made him feel...content. It might have been his narcissistic side. “Well, Mister- almost- always- right, you’re right.”

 

“How come you never told me? Wanted to hook up with me? I wouldn’t have said no, though, even if you had a boyfriend.” Taeyong cracked up when Yuta wiggled his eyebrows.

 

“Oh my God, Yuta, stop. You’re seriously the worst.” Yuta just smiled, pleased.

 

“That I am. But really, how come you never mentioned it?”

 

“It’s just...I don’t know, we never really talked about relationships so I guess I wouldn't just throw a casual ‘Listen, speaking of air pollution, I have a boyfriend.’” Yuta giggled and nodded.

 

“Right. So, where does he study? Or does he work?”

 

“He’s currently studying at Seoul Institute of Arts, he’s a year older than us.” Taeyong announced, proudly.

 

“Really? Damn, he must be quite talented! I heard only skilled people can attend.”

 

Taeyong grinned shyly and nodded. He always liked to brag about his boyfriend.

 

“He is. He has an amazing voice. Taeil is really incredible.”

 

“Look at you, all in love.” Yuta teased. “Been together for long?”

 

“We’ve been together since I was 17 and him 18.” Yuta widened his eyes, surprised.

 

“Well, that’s one hell of a relationship. Don’t tell me, best friends to lovers, right?” Yuta grinned when Taeyong nodded timidly and then let himself fall all over the grass.

 

They should have been studying for Taeyong’s upcoming tests, but Yuta had deemed him ready and demanded that Taeyong to get out of the library to take some fresh air. They had decided to buy some snacks and sit quietly in the backyard of the Languages Department.

 

“That’s nice,” Yuta finally said, after closing his eyes and crossing his arms behind his head.

 

“How about you?” Taeyong asked, mirroring Yuta’s actions and laying beside him.

 

“My longest relationship lasted like six months. Then I came to Korea and I’ve been single ever since.”

 

“It’s alright, love will come to you when you least expect it.”

 

Yuta opened one eye to look at Taeyong and snickered.

 

“You talk like in those magazines my sister reads. Who says I want to be in love?”

 

“Contrary to popular belief, being in love is actually fun. It’s not all about suffering, it might have its downsides but the pros outweigh them big time.” Taeyong turned to look at Yuta and locked eyes with him. Yuta smiled, amused, and Taeyong couldn’t help but reciprocate it.

 

“You’re such a loser.”

 

Taeyong knew by the little nudge his tutor gave him, he didn’t really mean it.

 

{-}

 

Taeil loved Taeyong to pieces, and he knew he was rather shy when it came down to making friends. Thus, he was quite happy when his boyfriend started babbling about a certain Japanese boy named Nakamoto Yuta, apparently his tutor. He had never seen Taeyong so excited about someone else, and really, it was endearing.

 

After a long and exhausting day, when the both of them were cuddling on their tiny sofa watching reruns on TV, Taeyong would start saying things like _“You won’t believe what Yuta taught me today”_ or _“Yuta threw a fit in the middle of the snack bar because apparently his favourite iced coffee was too expensive, the lady seller was so ashamed she even gave it to him for free.”_

Undoubtedly, Taeil felt intrigued about the character that brought such an easy smile to Taeyong’s face. His boyfriend spoke so fondly of him, it had been weird at first. He wasn’t used to Taeyong talking about anyone other than his professors.

 

“Taeil, Yuta asked me to keep hanging out today.” Taeyong told him, excitement dripping from his voice. “I mean, I thought after tutoring me we wouldn’t see each other anymore.”

 

“Why do you say that? You’re amazing Taeyong, of course Yuta wants to befriend you.”

 

“I can’t wait for you to meet him, seriously.” Taeyong sighed, resting his head over his boyfriend’s shoulder. “He is so much fun.”

 

“He’s the same Yuta that keeps saying you suck at speaking Japanese, right?” Taeil laughed airily when the younger of the two flushed, hitting him lightly.

 

“Shut up, I bet he only says that to tease me.” Taeil kissed Taeyong’s pout away and assured him that, indeed, he was sure he was great at Japanese.

 

Throughout the remainder of the week, Taeil couldn’t get Taeyong’s tutor out of his head. His boyfriend seemed much more active on his cellphone than ever, and he couldn’t help but suspect that it had to do with Yuta.

 

It was curious, how rapidly the two boys appeared to have hit it off, taking into account Taeyong’s personality. Taeil wasn’t one to say much about his boyfriend’s behaviour seeing as he was a rather coy person as well. However, Taeil knew he was much more approachable than the other boy, not because he thought he was better at making friends or was friendlier, but because Taeyong had such a hard face, people preferred not to go near him. It was a shame because Taeyong, once you got to the core of his shell, was someone unrealistically interesting.

 

Taeil considered himself rather bland in comparison; there was nothing else underneath his thin layer of shyness. He was a simple guy and didn’t need much to enjoy life. He did have, regardless, big aspirations when it came down to his future. He wanted people to hum to the rhythm of his songs and wanted them to find peace in his voice.

 

Taeyong had promised Taeil once that he’d be great one day, that he’d become someone famous, someone people would look up to. He had peppered him with compliments and Taeil had thought there was no one else as perfect as his boyfriend.

 

With a silly smile on his face, he walked through the unknown halls, looking for the cafeteria he knew the facility had. He had only been there once, when he had accompanied Taeyong to enroll in his course of studies. He remembered very faintly the location of most of the facilities and classrooms.

 

He was currently on his way to meet Taeyong to surprise him. He had suddenly felt like visiting him while being in their shared flat, surrounded by different music sheets. He had bought some take-out on his way out, seeing as Taeyong was the cook between the two. Taeil had never taken a liking to such activity, though it might have been connected to the fact that he was absolutely helpless when it came to it.

 

He knew that by this time, Taeyong usually took his break to eat. He didn’t like eating in a rush, and as such, prefered to eat calmly instead of shoving food in his mouth while trying to read his notes.

 

He heard him before he spotted him, which was unusual.

 

There, sitting on a bench together was Taeyong with someone else. It was a boy, he noticed, with auburn hair and the loudest laugh he had ever heard. He had an arm slung over Taeyong, and they appeared to be watching something on the latter’s phone. Taeyong was laughing as well, maybe not as hard but it was boisterous enough for Taeil to hear it from where he was standing.

 

Automatically, he felt his stomach drop. It was a rare sight to see Taeyong laughing without a care on the world, he was usually quite a reserved person. And on top of that, he wasn’t fond of skinship. But there he was, not minding at all that someone, who Taeil presumed to be the infamous Yuta, had half of his body pressed against his.

 

He marched towards them and when Taeyong saw him, he immediately detangled himself from Yuta and stood up, walking towards him with a huge smile.

 

“Taeil!” Taeyong pecked him softly and looked at the bag of takeout in his hand. “You brought me lunch?”

 

Taeil just nodded, a bit flustered at being kissed in front of the whole cafeteria.

 

“You should have called me or something…” Taeyong trailed off, guiding his boyfriend to sit down at the table with Yuta. “We already have lunch, but I guess the sandwiches they sell here aren’t enough.”

 

“Ah, it’s okay, I wanted to surprise you,” Taeil smiled, suddenly coy.

 

“So you are the infamous Taeil? Taeyong wouldn’t shut up about you,” Yuta said while offering his hand to the older. “I’m Nakamoto Yuta by the way.”

 

_He doesn’t shut up about you, either._

 

Taeil took his hand, shaking it. He felt a bit uneasy upon Yuta’s blinding smile.

“Really?” he asked, looking at Taeyong and giving him a hesitant smile.

 

Yuta just hummed and nodded his head.

 

“I can see why, though.” he added winking at him, flustering Taeil.

 

Taeyong just groaned.

 

“Yuta, shut up. Sorry Taeil, excuse his flirty ass,” Taeyong said, trying to wipe off the alarmed look on his boyfriend’s face.

 

“Rude,” Yuta scoffed, hitting Taeyong on the arm. Taeyong hit him back and Yuta yelped. “Taeil, your boyfriend is bullying me!” He whined.

 

“He started it, though! He was flirting with you right in front of me.”

 

“Jealous, baby? Don’t be, you know you are the only one for me,” teased Yuta, successfully making Taeyong hit him hard on his ribs.

 

“Don’t say shit like that.” He rolled his eyes and turned around to Taeil, ignoring a groaning Yuta.

 

“It’s okay, Taeil, don’t listen to him. What did you bring?” Taeyong smiled widely at him, expectantly.

 

“Taeil?” He called again when his boyfriend didn’t answer.

 

The older boy just shook his head, and grinned at his boyfriend.

 

“Sorry, got a little bit lost there. I brought some kimchi and jajangmyeon, is that okay?” Taeil placed the cardboard box of their usual take-out place on the table and opened it, revealing the plastic trays with the food on them.

 

“I didn’t know Yuta would be here too, if not I would have bought some more…” he trailed off, taking a quick look at Yuta’s face.

 

“It’s alright, don't worry about me, I was about to leave, anyways.” Yuta gathered all of his stuff and stood up, patting Taeyong on the shoulder. “Text when you’re free, okay? It was a pleasure meeting you, Taeil. Now I have a face to match your name.” Yuta said, sending Taeil a quick smile.

 

“Yuta, it’s fine, you don’t have to le-”

 

“Don’t worry, just enjoy your meal with your boyfriend,” Yuta interrupted Taeyong. “See you later!” He waved at them whilst leaving the cafeteria.

 

“How considerate.” Taeil mentioned offhandedly,  getting his chopsticks.

 

“Yeah, he is pretty nice.” His boyfriend agreed, “When he is not being a prick, of course.”

 

Taeil giggled and motioned Taeyong to start eating.

 

Though he tried to pay attention to everything Taeyong was saying, his mind kept going back to the Japanese boy.

 

He was handsome, and although Taeil wasn’t one to notice these petty little things, it did bother him a little that someone with good looks like Yuta was hanging out with his boyfriend. He had never doubted Taeyong, and he wasn’t going to start anytime soon. However, he couldn’t help but compare himself to his boyfriend's tutor. Yuta was almost the same height as Taeyong, only a little broader, more muscular. Taeil was quite short and a bit on the skinny side. He knew Taeyong loved him regardless.

 

Taeyong had never showed so much interest in somebody else, and even if he was happy for him, he bitterly thought that it wouldn’t be a bad thing if Yuta were a little less handsome.

 

“What are you thinking?”  Taeyong suddenly asked. “You're not this silent, usually. Did something happen?”

 

The concern in his boyfriend’s tone made Taeil smiled. He shook his head, reaching out and touching Taeyong’s forehead with his finger.

 

“You're gonna get wrinkles if you keep frowning so much.”

 

Taeyong batted his hand gently and smiled playfully. “What? Gonna leave me when I get all wrinkly? I expected better from you.”

 

“You're stuck with me, Lee Taeyong, you wish you were a free man.” Taeyong laughed brightly and pecked him briefly on the lips.

 

Taeil thought he was being his silly, insecure self once again.

 

Everything was alright.

 

{-}

 

Ten and Taeyong were silently doing their homework in the bar when suddenly Johnny sat down in front of them.

 

“Yo, football match this Saturday, you guys up to it?” He asked while reaching for Taeyong’s untouched coffee.

 

“I don’t like playing sports.” Ten said while scrunching his nose. “And Taeyong doesn’t either, but he is too kind to decline your offer, so I’ll do it for him.” He batted aways Johnny’s hand from Taeyong’s cup and smiled at him. “No way.”

 

Johnny groaned.

 

“Come on, we still need some more players.”

 

“Go ask Yuta,” Ten offered, resuming his work.

 

Johnny only groaned harder.

 

“He’ll say yes. The guys in my team asked me not to bring him again.”

 

Taeyong had stayed silent while his two friends talked. It was still weird to see Ten and Johnny interacting. He could barely believe his only friend, Johnny, was friends with Ten, of all people. He had had been quite speechless when he had gone to visit Johnny at his part-time job in a music store only to find him animatedly chattering with none other than Ten.

 

Apparently, the both of them had taken some cooking classes together, and even after ditching them, they continued seeing each other. Taeyong was sure it had to do with the fact that both could speak English and enjoyed Beyoncé in a rather obsessive way.

 

“Not my problem, and hey, guess who’s heading this way.” Ten waved his hand and Johnny turned around, only to see Yuta entering the bar, waving at them.

 

“Fuck.” He looked at Ten, pleading. “Please don’t say a word about the match.”

 

“I don’t think so, Seo. Remember the crap you pulled last month when I lent you my car?”

 

“I already told you, it wasn’t my fault! And still, I paid for the damn window.”

 

“Hey, guys, what are you talking about?” Yuta interrupted, plopping besides Taeyong. He grinned at his friend and put his arm around his shoulders.

 

“Nothi-”

 

“There’s a match this Saturday, Johnny wanted to you know if you are in.” Said man mouthed ‘fuck you’ in English at Ten upon the sudden betrayal.

 

Yuta’s eyes twinkled.

 

“Sweet! Of course, you can always count me in!” He replied, excited.

 

“I know.” Johnny sighed. He wasn’t sure how he was going to explain the sudden turn of events to his teammates.

 

Taeyong remained clueless as to why inviting Yuta to play football seemed like an awful idea. Maybe he was a bad player? It seemed a bit improbable, giving that Yuta was rather athletic, according to him of course.

 

“Can I come?” He asked, surprising the three people sitting around him.

 

“I thought you didn’t like sports…?” Johnny trailed off.

 

“I don’t like playing sports, but I don’t mind watching them,” he replied, shrugging.

 

“Nice, Taeyong could totally come and cheer us on.” Yuta exclaimed, excited about having someone cheering for him. “Ten!” The Thai boy sighed, knowing what was going to happen. “You should totally come, too!”

 

“I don’t think so,” Ten replied, blinking slowly.

 

“Come on, keep Taeyong some company, please?” Yuta pressed on.

 

“You only want me to go so Taeyong isn’t left alone? You fucker.”

 

Yuta laughed and avoided Ten’s punch.

 

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want, but I guess it’ll be more fun to have someone to talk to,” Taeyong offered, smiling slightly.

 

“Didn’t know you were such a great sports enthusiast,” Ten commented casually.

 

Taeyong shook his head, embarrassed.

 

“Not really, but it sounds fun. And I’ve never seen Yuta play, so I can look forward to it.” He replied.

 

Yuta just gave a short cheer.

 

“That’s the attitude! I’m an amazing player, if I do say so myself.” He winked at Taeyong and Ten rolled his eyes. “Ten, stop being a bi-”

 

“Alright, I’ll go, stop pestering me.”

 

“Great.” Johnny huffed, now there was no way Yuta would backtrack from the match. He had taken a weird liking to Taeyong and liked to show off in front of him; the boy felt completely smug when the Economics major complimented him even for the littlest things. “I have to go now, guess I’ll see you on Saturday. Four o'clock, same court as always.”

 

Johnny got up and waved at the trio, leaving the table, not before giving Ten the finger, who blew him a kiss in return.

 

“See you on Saturday , dude!” Yuta called, waving his hand.

 

Taeyong bit his lips in order not to laugh when he heard Johnny groaning.

 

 

{-}

 

Taeil was a bit surprised when Taeyong told him he would go watch a football match. He knew his boyfriend wasn’t a big sports fan, but he liked that the younger man was trying new things. He couldn’t say the same for him, though; he had never been one to try anything that went out of his comfort zone. He was conscious of the fact that Taeyong often held back for his sake, and that made him feel extremely mad with himself. Taeil didn’t want Taeyong to stop doing things because of him, but at the same time, he was glad he understood him and accepted him.

 

But it wasn’t like Taeil’s unadventurous nature didn’t come with its benefits in the relationship. In exchange for his staidness, Taeil had always been by Taeyong’s side, supporting him through every decision he made and trying his best to help him in any way possible. He felt content, because he had always felt that Taeyong and he, despite their little differences, went well together, complimented each other nicely.

 

“Yuta invited you?” Taeil asked.

 

“Ah, no. I actually invited myself.” Taeyong rubbed the back of his neck. “He seemed pretty excited about playing, and I guess I wanted to see by myself what was all the fuss about.”

 

Taeil hummed, trying his best to keep himself from expressing his obvious confusion. Alright, now his paradigm had been changed. Taeyong, willingly going to a football match? Somehow, the mere thought of Taeyong wanting to attend the match because of Yuta made him feel a bit uncomfortable.

 

“That’s nice, I hope you have fun.” He said, kissing his boyfriend out of the blue. Taeyong accepted it despite it being seemingly random, and smiled brightly at Taeil.

 

“I hope so, too.”

 

{-}

 

Ten was already waiting for him in the grandstands when Taeyong arrived. He waved at him and motioned for him to come sit with him.

 

“They’ve already decided on the teams.” Ten said after greeting him. “Johnny’s team is wearing the blue vests and Yuta’s team is wearing green vests.”

 

Taeyong nodded and watched carefully as  the teams started getting into place. He recognized Johnny and Yuta right away; the two males seemed to be discussing something while flipping a coin. His gaze wandered over the other players. Just like he thought, he didn’t know any of them. Some faces seemed familiar, probably due to attending the same uni, but Taeyong wasn’t sure.

 

“Are all of those guys Johnny and Yuta’s friends?”

 

Ten hummed and started pointing to the guys wearing the blue vests.

 

“All of those are Johnny’s friends. They don’t go to our university, so I’m pretty sure you don’t know any of them. I guess they’re high-school friends or something, I never bothered to ask.”  Ten then pointed towards the other team. “Some of those guys you might recognize, they go to our uni. Three of them are Yuta’s classmates and the others are from different majors.”

 

“I see,” Taeyong said, trying to focus on the game.

 

Despite knowing close to nothing about the sport, as the game unfolded, he sort of could guess why Johnny didn’t want Yuta to join him.

 

Contrary to Taeyong’s initial belief that Yutas was a bad player, the other man was absolutely _killing_ it in the field.

 

Ten watched in amusement as Taeyong’s face went from confusion to shock while watching the match.

 

“Yuta is...really good,” the older of the two managed to says, eyes trained on the way Yuta easily passed through the taller players, stopping for a short moment only to change his path and kick the ball straight to the goal. Taeyong watched him cheere and run up to the same guy he always ran towards whenever he scored. Yuta jumped on him and the other boy just caught him and twirled him around, as if they were celebrating the first of their goals. Thanks to Yuta’s last shot, the score was 5-2 in Yuta’s team favour.

 

“That is why Johnny doesn’t like inviting him to play. Before coming to Korea, he was scouted by a big football club. He trained with them almost all of his childhood and teenage years.” Taeyong looked at Ten, eyebrows raised in silent surprise. He didn’t know that.

 

“The club was furious when they found out Yuta wasn’t planning on becoming a professional football player. His parents were also mad, but not enough not to let him choose whatever he wanted to do with his life. He told me the club offered him a lot of money, but Yuta said he wouldn’t be able to enjoy life if he was chained to such a slavery sport.”

 

Ten rested his chin on his palm and smiled when he watched Johnny’s team ganging up on him once the match was over.

 

“He didn’t tell you any of this stuff?” Ten asked, turning his head to give Taeyong an amused look.

 

Taeyong shook his head.

 

“No, he didn’t.” He answered truthfully, somewhat hurt that Yuta hadn’t told him anything related to his possible career as a star football player.

 

“Don’t take it personally,” Ten patted him on the thigh sympathetically, reading Taeyong’s expression. “Although Yuta likes to talk a lot and is constantly throwing praise his own way, he rarely mentions this. He believes it makes him seem like a big wannabe or something of the sort.”

 

Taeyong just nodded, finding it funny how Ten was consoling him about not knowing part of Yuta’s life. Just how close did Ten think Taeyong and Yuta were? Somehow, Ten’s words did make him feel better, even though he still felt a bit conflicted in the inside. What kind of person did Yuta think he was? Taeyong was afraid he was coming off as somebody who would say Yuta was babbling about his skills because he was bigheaded.

 

“Come on,” Ten urged him to get up. “The match is over and I can’t wait to see Johnny’s sour expression.”

 

Taeyong smiled upon hearing Ten’s comment. He was somehow jealous of how tight that pair’s friendship was despite the bite and bickering. Even if Johnny was pretty close with him too, their relationship didn’t feel as carefree. He always felt like his Chicago-born friend tiptoed around him, scared of saying something that might upset Taeyong. He wasn’t sure when his casual demeanor towards others had changed to become like that, maybe when he started dating Taeil. Afterall, Taeil was never one for heavy pranks or jokes.

 

The two teams were shaking hands and taking off their vests when they arrived to the field. After saying goodbye, almost all of Yuta’s team left. On the other hand, Johnny’s team, from what Taeyong could guess, were still having a very heated argument. Probably about never inviting Yuta over to play again.

 

Even when most of the guys had left, the same guy that always celebrated the goals with Yuta was still there, his  arm around Yuta’s shoulders. They were laughing loudly and nudging each other playfully.

 

Ten must have sensed the curiosity oozing out of him because he held him by the arm and brought him closer, so he could lean in and whisper, “That’s Jaehyun. They were already friends when I met Yuta. They always play together.”

 

Taeyong gave a nod of acknowledgment, observing the way Yuta stretched his arm to ruffle his hair. They looked painfully attached.

 

“Those guys, being all chummy with each other, totally forgetting about me,” Ten huffed, in false annoyance.

 

Jaehyun then turned his head over to where Taeyong and Ten were standing and whispered something to Yuta, pointing out to them. Yuta also turned his head, eyes lighting up when he spotted them.

 

“Taeyong, Ten!” he called, waving his arms. He took Jaehyun by the arm and dragged him towards the duo.

 

“I’m glad you made it.” He said once he reached them, gifting Taeyong with a wide smile. “This is Jaehyun, Jaehyun, this is Taeyong.” Yuta pulled Jaehyun by his side, who just offered Taeyong his hand. He took it, and after shaking hands Taeyong smiled at him.

 

“Nice to meet you.” He said, bowing a bit.

 

“Nice to meet you, too. Yuta told me about you.” Jaehyun replied, mischief dancing in his eyes. “Couldn’t believe Yuta was a tutor. I mean, he’s bit dumb for that.” Yuta elbowed him,  huffing.

 

“Shut up, Taeyong here stands as a solid proof of my tutoring skills.”

 

Taeyong just smiled awkwardly, not really knowing what to say to that.

When he didn’t say anything back, Ten and Jaehyun snorted, biting their lips to keep themselves from laughing. Yuta just looked at him, betrayal clear on his face.

 

“Taeyong!” He whined. “Dude, you should defend my honor, not throw me into the dirt like that.”

 

“He is a good teacher!” Taeyong said hurriedly, trying to appease his friend. His rushed response only had Ten and Jaehyun breaking out in full laughter. Taeyong winced and looked apologetically at Yuta, who just shook his head at him, grinning shortly after.

 

“Sorry,” he mouthed. Yuta just sighed and hit Ten and Jaehyun on the head. Just before they could even complain about the rough treatment, Johnny walked over to them.

 

“Good match, Yuta, Jaehyun,” he said, while giving them both a handshake. “My teammates ask me not to bring you to our matches, Yuta. Think you can go easy on them next time? You’ll bruised their big boys ego.”

 

Yuta snorted and Jaehyun hid his smile behind his hand.

 

“Your friends don’t appreciate getting their asses kicked by a skinny wimp? Tell them it’s their fault for having two left feet.”

 

Johnny just put Yuta in a headlock and ruffled his head.

 

“Shut up, I can kick your skinny ass anytime, so watch your mouth.” Yuta was struggling to get out of Johnny’s impressively strong hold without success.

 

“Fuck you,” he managed to get out, hands clawing desperately at Johnny. Ten and Jaehyun were watching at the side, chuckling.

 

Taeyong just stood there, internally debating whether to step in or just let them live. After all, it did look like Yuta was about to get strangled to death by Johnny's friendly headlock.

 

After some more struggling, Johnny released Yuta, who just stepped back, breathing loudly and fixing his hair.

 

“Fuck you, Seo. It’s fucking unfair if you use your giant strength,” Yuta complained loudly, taking place next to Taeyong. “You traitors,” he said to Ten and Jaehyun, who were wiping the laughter-induced tears of his face.

 

“Johnny showing you your place has to be the best thing ever,” Jaehyun said, resting his arm on Ten’s shoulder. “Now let’s go eat something, I’m starving.”

 

All of them, except Taeyong, hummed in approval. Yuta turned to look at him, “You’re coming, right?”

 

Ten, Jaehyun and Johnny all looked at him, expectantly, with encouraging smiles.

 

Taeyong flushed a bit at the sudden attention. He could feel his neck heating up.

 

“Ah, thanks for the invitation, but I really need to go back home,” he apologized, scratching his neck.

 

“Oh, come on. We can take you home right after we’re done.” Ten begged, surprising Taeyong.

 

“Ten’s right, Yuta can drive you home. We won’t take long,” Jaehyun added, teeth showing between his lips. “It’d be nice if you came.” And wow, Taeyong was a bit thrown. He thought the others only saw Taeyong was Yuta’s friend, and that was it. But here they were, asking him to please join them despite not knowing him very well.

 

He felt warmth spread all over his chest, and he felt truly sorry because even if wanted to join them (and he did) he had promised Taeil to accompany him to his parents’ later that day.

 

“Ah, thank you guys, really, but I can’t. Maybe next time?” He excused himself, still scratching the back of his neck.

 

Yuta suddenly throw his arm around Taeyong, startling him.

 

“Don’t worry, Taeyongie. But you’ll come with us next time, right?” Taeyong nodded hurriedly and Yuta smiled, satisfied.

 

“Alright then. I’ll take you home now then.” Arm still on his shoulder, Yuta turned to the trio of friends, “Johnny, can you drive Ten and Jaehyun? I’ll meet up with you guys after I’ve dropped Taeyong off.”

 

“Stop burning all of my gas just to impress Taeyong, you asshole,” Ten said accusatory, winking at Taeyong just to let him know he was messing with Yuta.

 

“Shut up, I drive you around like a goddamn chauffeur all day, I think I’m allow to burn your gas.”

 

Johnny just sighed and Jaehyun patted him on the shoulder.

 

“Alright kids, let’s not fight. We’ll wait for you in that Thai place Ten is always dragging us to, cool?”

 

“Fine by me.”

 

Taeyong then said his goodbyes and after promising the boys he would join them, he walked with Yuta towards a brand new Mercedes Benz. He knew it wasn’t Yuta’s car, he had told him the car had been a present for Ten’s 20th birthday. However, Ten was a terrible driver and got stressed easily so he had forced Yuta to learn how to drive so he could drive him around.

 

“You’re a really good player,” Taeyong commented once they were seated in Ten’s car. He had meant to say it before, but between the introductions and all that he had forgotten. “Ten told me you played for a big club back in Japan.”

 

“Ah, Ten and his big mouth.” Yuta clicked his tongue and shyly admitted, “Yeah, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think I was bragging about it or something.”

 

Taeyong smiled, somehow relieved that it had been something like him thinking badly of Yuta what had stopped the other from opening up to Taeyong.

 

“I would never,” he answered truthfully. Yuta just grinned in Taeyong’s direction for a second before shifting his gaze towards the street again.

 

During the ride Yuta told Taeyong about how he had met Jaehyun, the first time he introduced him to Ten, and how badly they got along at the beginning. He talked about Johnny as well and all the stupid pranks he was talked into by him.

 

Taeyong enjoyed listening to Yuta talk happily about his friends, they really looked like they were close. He was pleased that his friend had such amazing people in his life, which he later realised was a rather stupid thought, but he couldn’t help it. Knowing that Yuta had trust-worthing people he could rely on made him happy.

 

“God, I just want to shower.” Yuta said all of a sudden. They were at a red light and Yuta was trying to pry his shirt off of his body, which was stuck like glue due to the sweat. “I feel disgusting.”

 

Taeyong looked at him, a smile plastered on his face upon seeing Yuta struggling with his clothes. All of a sudden, Yuta lifted his soaked shirt to wipe at his torso, exposing his body. His _fit_ body, Taeyong’s mind uselessly supplied. Since Yuta was sitting rather straight on the seat, Taeyong could easily see the hard lines of his abdomen, tan skin glistening with sweat.

 

Taeyong felt a rather familiar heat coiling in his stomach, and the sensation left him stunned.

 

He kept watching as Yuta, futilely, tried to dry his skin with his soaked shirt. He then rose a bit from the seat and pulled at the fabric of his shorts, pushing them higher on his mid thigh.

 

“Fuck, this leather seat always makes the back of my thigh sweat as well, ugh,” Yuta complained, completely unaware of Taeyong’s ogling. His thighs were incredibly toned, and with the strain of keeping himself up from the seat, the muscles from his legs just hardened.

 

Taeyong felt like his mouth was full of sand, because fuck, he had never noticed just how fit Yuta was. Being the gay young man he was, boyfriend or not, he couldn’t help but appreciate how hot Yuta looked at the moment.

 He was pulled out of his trace when the light turned green and Yuta sat properly again on the seat.

 

“I probably smell disgusting, too.” Yuta kept going, scrunching his nose. “I’m sorry if the smell bothers you.”

 

Taeyong cleared his voice before answering, “Don’t worry.”

 

 _Get a fucking grip_ , he scolded himself mentally. But really, how hadn’t Taeyong realised sooner that his friend was actually quite _attractive._

 

Once Yuta parked in front of his flat, he turned to him and smiled at him.

 

“Thanks for coming, really.”

 

Taeyong automatically mirrored Yuta’s smile.

 

“It’s nothing, I had a good time. Thanks for driving me.”

 

“No problem. See you soon?” Yuta’s badly concealed eager tone made Taeyong chuckled.

 

“Of course.” And when Yuta grinned at him, eyes crinkling up and teeth coming into view, Taeyong couldn’t help but think that despite his attractive body, Yuta’s smile was his best trait. It made his whole face light up and Taeyong thought that such a radiant look suited him perfectly.

 

Yuta always looked his best whenever he showed how happy he was.

 

{-}

 

Finals  were approaching, and Taeyong could sense another mental breakdown coming as well. He had always been good at handling anxiety, or so he thought before he stepped into college.

 

College was on a whole other level. It didn’t matter that Taeyong was the type to study weeks before exams; whenever he had to cross another day off in his calendar, as he got closer day by day to the dreadful week ahead, he could feel himself slowly dying.

 

There was only one week before finals and Taeyong had already tripled the amount of lattes he usually consumed.

 

He hated people who could actually think straight when exams were around the corner, like his boyfriend who remained calm and never looked anxious or tired.

 

Unacceptable. Taeyong was a crying mess, so everyone else should cry and shriek as well.

 

That’s why, when he found the state Yuta was before exams, he felt content. His teeth, always on display whenever he smiled, had done a terrible number on the Japanese boy’s lips. He had big, dark circles under his eyes and Taeyong swore he had been wearing the same shirt four days straight. At least he wasn’t the only one looking like a corpse.

 

Despite how much he enjoyed Yuta’s company, he knew it was pointless to meet to study for exams. In a serious kind of way, at least. Taeyong was sure the moment he started to cry from the pressure, Yuta would scream at him and then join him in his pity party. Comforting, but totally counterproductive.

 

Thus, the both of them had agreed not to meet up for a while.

 

It was strange not to have Yuta’s boisterous laugh constantly ringing in his ears. He had grown used to the noise and to the boy’s presence, so he found it strangely awkward to be in the library without receiving judging looks from the librarian over the laughter. Yuta certainly knew how to crack a joke in the most inappropriate situations, and given the looks most of the students gave them whenever they spotted the boys in the tables, they didn’t appreciate Yuta’s sense of humor as much.

 

For once in his life, Taeyong found himself dreading deafening silence.

 

 

{-}

 

The insistent vibrations coming from his phone woke Taeyong up. The muffled buzzing of the device hadn’t stopped for a while, and at first Taeyong had tried to ignore it but the person calling seemed quite stubborn.

 

He was ready to give this person a piece of his mind; it was the first night he was supposed to get his healthy 8 hours of sleep since exams were over, and no, he didn’t appreciate someone interrupting his long-desired rest. That was, of course, until  he saw the ID caller.

 

Yuta.

 

“Taeyong-ah! Finally, I’ve been calling for a while now!” Yuta’s loud voice resonated from the other side when he picked up.

 

“Yuta, do you know what time is it? And please lower your voice, Taeil’s still sleeping.” He hushed the other boy in a low voice and looked down at Taeil’s sleeping figure. Seriously, he envied his boyfriend, currently snoring softly on the spot right beside him. He was such a heavy sleeper, no wonder he hadn’t even stirred from Yuta’s calls.

 

He heard a muffled chuckle from the other side.

 

“Right, sorry. I mean, for Taeil. Hey, you doing something right now?”

 

“Trying to sleep, but some asshole thought it’d be funny to wake me up at ass o ‘clock.”

 

“Sounds like a good person to me. Probably handsome as well.” Taeyong shook his head and smiled softly. The nerve.

 

“Hey, I’m outside of your flat. Grab something warm and let’s go.”

 

Taeyong widened his eyes. Was Yuta really out of his house? He stepped down from the bed, careful not to wake Taeil up and made his way to the living room. From the window he spotted Yuta’s figure against Ten’ car.

 

“Yuta what the fuck?” Taeyong said, tone hushed. Yuta must have noticed the slight ruffle of curtains because he squinted towards where Taeyong was and started waving animatedly.

 

“There you are! You look so ugly though,” he teased. Taeyong just gave him the finger while Yuta cackled outside.

 

“I’m freezing my ass here, get dressed and let’s go.”

 

“Where?”

 

“The beach.”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Taeyong finally looked at the clock on his wall. It read 3:45 am.

 

“Don’t ask stupid shit, grab a coat and let’s go. If we go now we can make it before the sunrise.”

 

Taeyong sighed, rubbing his forehead with the tip of his cold fingers. He didn’t need to go on this trip. He could easily tell Yuta he had things to do early in the morning and that they should go some other time. However, when he took a look at his friend’s figure, clad in a green jacket waving animatedly at him, he knew it was a lost cause. He rarely said no to him, anyways.

 

“Give me ten.” He sighed.

 

{-}

 

Ten minutes had turned into twenty-five, and Yuta hadn’t stopped whining the whole first half hour of the trip about how heartless Taeyong was because he had left him to freeze to death outside. Taeyong just rolled his eyes and reminded the other that he was the one to bring almost everything. He had brought snacks, a fluffy blanket big enough for the two of them, spare coats, a thermos full of Taeyong’s homemade hot chocolate, toilet paper, a flashlight, his camera, spare chargers and even some matches. In his opinion, he had managed to gather up everything in record time, seeing that he had to walk quite slowly with most of the lights turned off so not to wake his boyfriend.

 

He had left Taeil a note on top of his desk, in case they didn’t make it back before he woke up. It was scary, how easily he had caved to Yuta’s crazy ideas. A couple of months ago he wouldn’t even have been able to got to the twenty-four hour store past eleven pm. And there he was now, jamming to Yuta’s weird Japanese songs at  four o'clock in the morning heading towards Gyeongpo.

 

_“For such a rushed trip you sure didn’t prepare much.” Taeyong huffed when Yuta made fun of him for bringing such a big backpack._

_“That’s the attractive part of these kinds of trips. You don’t plan one step further, you just go with the flow.”_

_“That’s highly inconvenient. You always have to be prepared, what if you get hungry? Or you want to go to the bathroom and don’t have any hand sanitizer?” Yuta looked at him briefly and then snickered._

_“You’re so cute, you sound like my mom.”_

_Taeyong rolled his eyes, already used to Yuta comparing him to his mom._

_“Your mom sounds like a wise person.”_

_“She is. The wisest person I’ve ever known.”_

 

Somehow, Yuta’s comment had made his heart fluttered. Perhaps it was the melancholic tint in his voice, always present whenever he reminisced about his family. Or perhaps it was the unintentional compliment.

 

When he had asked him the reason behind such random trip, Yuta had shrugged and said he couldn’t sleep and that he felt like watching the sunrise. When Taeyong mentioned they could have gone to the Han river, Yuta claimed  Taeyong had clearly never seen the sunrise on the beach, away from the light pollution of the city, away from the sounds of the concrete jungle.

 

“How about Ten? Why didn’t you invite him?” Taeyong asked, while sorting through Yuta’s very questionable choice of music. He suppressed a snicker when he found an One Ok Rock album.

 

“You ask too many questions Taeyong, relax a little. I didn’t steal his car, if you’re worried about that.” Yuta smirked briefly at him, before shifting his eyes again to the limitless road ahead of them. “I suddenly missed you,” he confessed, softly.  “We’ve been busy lately, and it felt weird not being around you.”

 

Taeyong’s heart skipped a beat. Yuta wasn’t one to talk openly about how he felt since it made him feel a bit awkward and vulnerable. The fact that he trusted Taeyong enough to confide such things warmed his cheeks instantly.

 

“Sorry, I made it weird, didn’t I?” Yuta wasn’t looking at him, eyes set on straight, but he had a shy smile on his handsome features.

 

“No, no,” he answered quickly. “Actually, it’s been weird for me, too. Not having you around, I mean.” He looked at Yuta’s profile and grinned. “I’ve missed you, too.” Yuta turned his head towards Taeyong and both smiled widely.

 

“Of course you missed me, your life is so boring. I’m the highlight of most of your days.”  Yuta snorted, and Taeyong rolled his eyes at him, whacking him in the shoulder with one of the CD boxes.

 

“Hey, don’t hurt the driver!” Yuta protested, laughter falling from his lips. Taeyong hit him again and giggled.

 

Somehow, Yuta was right. His life wasn’t boring per se, but the Japanese boy certainly knew how to spice up his routine. Yuta’s ideas weren’t always the best, and they tended to end in very disastrous ways, with Taeyong saving him most of the times. However, he couldn’t complain. Yuta’s silly antics entertained him to no end and helped him take life in a more relaxed way. It was strange, not to worry about everything all the time.

 

The roadway was empty and the only sounds that could be heard were Jay Park’s melodies blasting from the stereo. There were few other cars around, seeing as it was an odd hour to travel, and though it was spring, the night was quite cold.

 

Yuta looked so carefree like this, humming softly and tapping his fingers on the wheel, moving his head slightly from time to time. It was a rare sight, Taeyong thought. Yuta couldn’t shut his mouth to save his life and was like a child high on sugar, unable to stay still for more than two minutes.

 

“You are so quiet,” he said in a hushed tone, afraid to disrupt the good atmosphere.

 

Yuta turned to look at him for a second and nodded.

 

“Driving relaxes me. My parents used to take me for drives when I couldn’t sleep when I was a child. I guess I like being in constant movement, feeling like I’m heading somewhere.”

 

“It’s nice. Seeing you like this. I like it”

 

The softest smile Taeyong had ever seen took over Yuta’s features, and he readied himself  for the witty comeback he knew would come.

 

Only it never did.

 

Yuta kept on driving, Taeyong feeding him hot chocolate and snacks so he wouldn’t fall asleep. They didn’t talk much through the rest of the trip, the silence way too comfortable to even attempt breaking it.

 

Taeyong pondered when was the last time he had felt so comfortable in complete silence with someone else. He had always prefered the noiselessness, though it didn’t mean he found comfort being in complete quietness with somebody else.

 

“We’re almost there,” Yuta announced, pulling Taeyong out of his thoughts.

 

“Where are we going, exactly?” He asked while Yuta entered the gravel road.

 

“There’s this quiet little beach I found last year. It’s a bit far from the actual beach tourists visit, but it’s nicer. Few people go there.”

 

Taeyong hummed in acknowledgment, admiring wordlessly the endless beach on display. It was still dark, but the moonlight spilled nicely over the place, making it easier to distinguish the different shapes.

 

It was such a lovely sight, Taeyong felt excitement run through him. He couldn’t wait to see the dawn.

 

For a brief moment they lost sight of the beach as Yuta drove through a really narrow road, full of bumps. Taeyong was starting to get worried about the car when suddenly Yuta pulled over.

 

“We’re here.” Yuta turned off the engine and stepped down from the car, motioning Taeyong to do the same.

 

Once they took out the supplies Taeyong had brought, Yuta turned on the flashlight and smiled widely at Taeyong.

 

“Follow me.” He started moving, securing the backpack’s straps around his shoulder. Taeyong followed him, flashing the other flashlight in front of him in order not to stumble or anything of the sort. Despite wearing shoes, walking through the sand proved to be quite hard, and it became even harder when Yuta started climbing up a small hill.

 

“Is it far?” Taeyong sighed, already regretting having accepted Yuta’s crazy plan.

 

“Almost there.” Yuta didn’t sound as breathless as Taeyong, despite being the one carrying the heavy ass backpack. It wasn’t fair, Taeyong thought bitterly. He really ought to exercise a bit more.

 

They kept walking for a little while until Yuta announced they had arrived and Taeyong looked around, seizing the place. The spot didn’t look very special nor different from the other beaches they had passed while driving, not at least in the dark.

 

After setting everything up, Yuta sat down and sighed contentedly. Taeyong was busy checking that everything was in order in the backpack when Yuta jerked him down by the wrist.

 

“Come on Taeyong, just sit and relax.” Taeyong huffed in annoyance but sat down by Yuta anyways. He then proceeded to wrap the blanket around them. Seeing as the blanket wasn’t big enough as he had initially thought, they sat quite close, until their knees were touching.

 

“Bringing you here was the wisest choice I’ve ever made.” Yuta smiled down at Taeyong, clearly satisfied with the fluffy blanket. The barely older man rolled his eyes but grinned back at him anyways, softly bumping their shoulders together.

 

“Yuta, what would you do without me?” He asked, sarcasm dripping from his tone. Although he had meant that as a joke, all of a sudden Yuta’s piercing gaze was set on him.

 

“I don’t know,” Yuta softly answered after looking thoroughly at Taeyong, resting his head on his knees. He grinned lightly, without taking his eyes off of Taeyong. “I don’t want to sound cheesy or something like that but...you’ve truly became somebody I can lean on.”

 

Taeyong watched him quietly, suddenly overwhelmed.

 

“I trust you, Taeyong. I’m glad we met.” The sky was turning lighter by the minute and despite the fact that the sun hadn’t come out yet, he could clearly make out Yuta’s soft smile, showing his perfect row of teeth.

 

Notwithstanding that it was spring, the breeze that flew from the sea just a few meters ahead of them was quite chilly, but Taeyong didn’t feel cold at all. Instead, he felt warm all of a sudden, and he was sure his cheeks had started to heat up.

 

“I-I…” He stuttered, caught off guard. Yuta’s words had digged deep into him. He’s never been the type to make many friends, or any best friends at all. The closest person he could call his ‘best friend’ was also his lover, so he didn’t really have anyone else other than Taeil or Johnny to lean on. He thought he was fine like that, those two were enough for him.

 

But all of a sudden, without asking for permission, Yuta had entered Taeyong’s life and befriended him. Suddenly, he had a friend he could call his. Taeyong thought of Yuta as his best friend, he had shown him so many things and taught him many more. He had effortlessly coerced Taeyong out of his shell. He wasn’t sure, however, if his feelings were reciprocated. He knew Yuta liked him enough to hang out with him almost everyday. Nevertheless, he had more interesting friends than himself: Ten, Jaehyun, Doyoung. He didn’t think he was as important to him as his other friends.

 

It was alright, though, Taeyong didn’t mind as long as Yuta kept coming back for him for whatever it was that Yuta needed.

 

“Thank you,” he said all of a sudden, eyes watering. Yuta’s eyes widened, clearly not expecting such a reaction from Taeyong.

 

“Are you crying?” he asked, teasingly. Taeyong just covered his face in embarrassment. Fuck he didn’t want to cry in front of Yuta like that, it was pathetic. But what could he do? He felt overwhelmed by all of his thoughts.

 

“Ah man, don’t cry. Come here.” Yuta pulled Taeyong by his arms, successfully prying his hands out of his face and squishing their cheeks together.

 

“It’s okay, Taeyong, don't’ feel bad. I just forgot how sensitive you were. Though I didn’t know you liked me that much,” he mocked, pressing their faces painfully together.

 

“Of course, idiot, you are my best friend,” Taeyong sobbed, laughing lightly at Yuta’s attempt to comfort him. Swiftly, Yuta pulled away and look seriously at Taeyong.

 

“You mean it?” Taeyong was startled by the abrupt change in Yuta, so he just nodded wiping the last traces of tears from his eyes.

 

Yuta gave a broad grin and grabbed Taeyong’s hands.

 

“I don’t know why, but it makes me really happy to hear you say that.” He squeezed Taeyong’s hand and snuggled closer to him, resting his head on his shoulder.

 

Taeyong laughed, amused by Yuta’s childish behaviour. He rested his head atop of him, and they both silently watched as the sun came out from the depths of the endless sea.

 

Golden light poured  gradually all over the place, whilst the sky was still changing from its night robes. The enormous mass of water sparkled under the soft sunlight, and little by little, Taeyong watched awestruck how the sun lit up the whole beach.

 

“It’s beautiful,” he whispered, breathless.

 

“Told you so,” Yuta whispered back.

 

Taeyong felt something he hadn’t felt in a while.

 

Peace.

 

He felt extremely relaxed, with Yuta by his side and the soft blanket wrapped around them, stopping the cold breeze from bothering them. The slightly fishy smell from the sea reminded him of his childhood holidays, and just for a moment his mind went blank. He didn’t need to think right now, he just needed to feel, with his skin and his senses. It was strange, seeing as Taeyong’s mind never stopped working, never stopped worrying. It felt nice to have a break from it, from the constant anxious feeling prickling at the back of his brain, from the constant concern.

 

“Thank you,” he said to Yuta after a while. “For bringing me here.”

 

Yuta lifted his head from Taeyong’s shoulder and smiled at him, and without saying a word he detangled himself from the blanket and got up, helping up Taeyong as well. They gathered everything and headed back to Ten’s car. No matter how badly they wished to stay just a little longer, they knew they had to go back.

 

“Race you to the car!” Yuta yelled suddenly, leaving Taeyong behind in a blink of an eye.

 

“That’s cheating.” Taeyong yelled back, cursing under his breath and running up the hill.

When he finally reached the car, he was sweating despite still being a bit cold, and Yuta was leaning on the the car with a smug expression on his face.

 

“Taeyongie, you didn’t even carry the backpack. As much as you are a dancer, your stamina is pretty low,” he teased, opening the door for him. Taeyong slapped his hand from the door knob and Yuta yelped.

 

“Shut up, not everyone likes exercising like crazy like you.” He bit back, sitting down on the comfortable seat.

 

“I don’t like exercising that much, though. I just like running,” Yuta said while entering the car.

 

“Did you put the backpack in the trunk, right?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Did you check if everything was inside?”

 

Yuta snorted and started the engine.

 

“Of course.”

 

Taeyong frown, not liking Yuta’s tone.

 

“Wait, let me just double check. I don’t want to forget anything.” Taeyong said while getting out of the car. Yuta just sighed but smiled affectionately through the rearview mirror. Taeyong was _really_ cute.

 

The ride back home was quiet, and once Yuta had reached Taeyong’s place the sun was high in the sky.

 

“Thanks for taking me out,” Taeyong started, unbuckling his seatbelt. “I had a great time. I have to give it to you, you know Korea a lot better than I do.” He chuckled. “See you later, okay?” He squeezed Yuta’s arm and before he got the chance to open the passenger door, Yuta stopped him.

 

“Taeyong, about what you said earlier…” Yuta’s hand curled around Taeyong’s shoulder and grinned softly. “I also considered you one of my best friends. I mean it.”

 

Taeyong smiled widely, showing a pearly row of teeth.

 

“Don’t tell Ten, though, that hoe is worse than my ex.” Yuta laughed and Taeyong laughed along him.

 

Yuta’s bubbly laughter and words accompanied him the whole day, and whenever he remembered the way his friend had looked at him, gaze filled with sincerity and affection, his heart would skip a beat.

 

Having a best friend felt surprisingly like a first crush.

And really, Taeyong didn’t mind as long as Yuta kept making him feel like that.

 

Happy.

 

{-}

 

“Hey, you got something to do right now?”

 

Taeyong looked up from his phone, shaking his head.

 

“Not really, why?”

 

Yuta nodded slowly and added,

 

“And, you don’t have classes the rest of the day, right?”

 

Yuta smiled, satisfied when Taeyong nodded. “Wanna hang out at my place? I rather not spend my free time in this depressing place.” He turned his head and signaled  with his thumb at the library.

 

“You sure?” he asked coolly, trying not to sound too excited at the thought of visiting Yuta’s place.

 

“Yeah, plus, it’s not far and I have to be back at four something.”

 

“Alright, then.” Taeyong carefully put all of his stuff in his bag and stood up.

 

Yuta grinned and picked up his bag too, exiting the library and guiding Taeyong out of the college.

 

“I live only 15 minutes walk of here,” he commented while strolling down the street, Taeyong right next to him.

 

“You live alone?”

 

“Luckily. In my first year I lived at the dorms.” Yuta grimaced. “Living in a building full of hormonal guys isn’t as fun as it sounds. And my roommate sucked, he yelled at me sometimes because I was still learning the language at that time, and well, he was quite short-tempered, the dick. Fortunately, I found a little Language School that were looking for teachers and -turn here.”

 

Taeyong did as told, waiting for Yuta to resume his story.

 

“And though I didn’t knew Korean that well, they took me in. They aren’t a big school so they couldn’t afford to pay much and were having trouble finding someone. Of course, any money is good money so I didn’t care. Teaching there helped me improved my Korean a lot. They pay wasn’t much, but it was enough to allow me to live alone.”

 

“Wow, that’s amazing.” It seemed Yuta never stopped surprising him, it was his first time ever hearing this particular story. And he had told him a lot of anecdotes. “You still work there?”

 

“Yeah, the bills won’t get paid themselves, despite Ten having grown thinking otherwise.” He chuckled. “Ah, here it is. It’s a bit small, and I warn you, I’m not very...organised.”

 

Taeyong looked up at the building. It seemed a little old, what once were vibrant red bricks were now something akin to a rare orange. It looked well kept, nonetheless, the windows looked shiny and the neighbourhood wasn’t too shabby. It only had four floors, and Yuta lived in the third.

 

“It’s here.” Yuta stood outside a dark wooden door with a little metalli ‘B’ hanging in the middle. “Listen, I get it you are a neat freak, but don’t...freak out?” He warned before inserting the keys and opening the door.

 

“I would never do some- oh my God, Yuta! When was the last time you cleaned?”

 

Yuta sighed, as if completely expecting this reaction.

 

“Don’t you have a basket for the dirty laundry? Why are your clothes all over the place?” Taeyong began picking up the random clothing items scattered on the floor.

 

“Taeyong, what are you doing?” Yuta tried to take one of his pairs of pants out of Taeyong’s grasp, but the other was quicker and yanked it back.

 

“What does it look like I’m doing? I can’t believe you live like this.” Taeyong tsked, clearly disappointed. “Where do you keep the broom? Go find it.”

 

He made a short tour around the flat, quickly locating the bathroom and the bedroom. The flat was quite small, smaller than his and Taeil’s, but the lack of furniture made it look bigger than it actually was. There was a tiny table against the white wall with two chairs, and on the other side of the room also against the wall, was a two-stories sofá. What called his attention the most was that just in front of the blue couch was a flat screen TV on top of a little wooden table.

 

“Taeyong, what the hell, I didn’t bring you here to clean. Just leave my clothes wherever and let’s play some video games.”

 

“Where did the TV came from?” He asked, ignoring Yuta’s previous statement. The boy turned his head towards the TV and looked back at Taeyong.

 

“It was Ten’s. He bought himself a new one and gave me this one. He said he couldn't stay at my place if we couldn’t play video games or watch movies in something bigger than my computer.”

 

“Wow, I wish I could have a friend like that.” Taeyong chuckled, entering the bedroom. He groaned when he saw that it was even messier. “You have like, zero furniture, how do you manage to make such a mess?” he yelled.

 

Yuta just smiled, amused, and walked towards his bedroom, resting on the frame.

 

“Literally, there’s only a bed and a closet.” Taeyong picked some socks and, pushing Yuta out of the door with his hips, made his way towards the bathroom where he had seen a basket.

 

He dropped the bunch of clothes in the laundry basket and moved to the small kitchen. It seemed Yuta hadn’t washed the sink in months. Before he could start roaming around looking for some rubber gloves, Yuta grabbed him by the wrist.

 

“Taeyong, really, stop. You don’t need to do this, I appreciate it but-”

 

“I’m not doing this for you.” Taeyong cut him. “Believe me, my skins _itches_ knowing this place hasn’t been properly cleansed for God knows how long. “

 

“You’re such a pain in the ass, you don’t get to come to my house and insult me.” Yuta groaned.

 

“And you’re a filthy-ass young man, so go get your brush, those floors won’t scrubbed themselves, you know.” Despite Taeyong’s harsh words, there was a funny smirk dancing on his lips, and his eyes were twinkling with amusement.

 

Yuta released Taeyong’s wrist from his grasp and punched his shoulder.

 

“You expect me to just go after calling me a filthy-ass?”

 

“Yes, get to it or we’ll miss lunch.”

 

Yuta groaned and Taeyong smiled when he watched him leave the kitchen.

 

“I hate you.” He heard him shout from the bathroom.

 

“I can’t hear you scrubbing.” He sing-sung, rubber gloves already on.

 

“Fuck you.”

 

{-}

 

“What do you usually eat, by the way?” Taeyong commented, eyeing the almost empty fridge.

 

Once Taeyong had deemed the place clean enough for his skin not to itch, he suggested they could grab some lunch. Yuta had let out a content sigh, hands red from all the scrubbing. Taeyong had made him change his sheets and clean the bathroom as well. He could have refused, but there was something dangerous swirling in Taeyong eyes whenever he gave orders, and he’d rather not be on the receiving end of his fierce stare.

 

Taeyong didn’t know this, but lots of people in their college were a bit afraid of him. He looked heartless, with his cold, piercing eyes, sharp jaw and lips rarely pulled in a smile. The contrast between Taeyong’s looks and his personality never failed to amuse Yuta.

 

“I’m not a good cook, so I order take-out a lot. Sometimes the lady I work for makes too much food for her kids and brings me a little. She’s the nicest lady ever, and her broths are to die for,” he answered from his spot on the chair.

 

Taeyong furrowed his eyebrows, a bit worried.

 

“Ordering take-out all the time isn’t cheap, how do you manage? It isn’t healthy, either.”

 

Yuta just rolled his eyes and got up from the chair, moving towards the couch and motioning for Taeyong to join him.

 

“Ten buys a lot for me,” he explained, setting up the console and giving Taeyong a controller. “He’s fucking loaded. I helped him a lot with his Korean so he was always buying me things, and I guess now he is used to doing it.”

 

“What’s with the PS4?” Taeyong doubted his friend could afford it, taking into account what he had told him. Unless…

 

“It was a present from Ten. He gave it to me for my birthday last year.”

 

“Dude, Ten’s like your sugar daddy.” He grinned when Yuta scrunched his nose.

 

“Ten said the fucking same thing, I hate him. The worst part is that when I try to refuse his presents he gets all whiny and pissy and makes me feel bad, like I’m the most ungrateful human ever. He’s a brat.” Yuta sighed. “He’s spoiled rotten, but I’m already used to him so I guess I don’t mind.”

 

Taeyong nodded, and just when he was about to ask something else, he saw the familiar logo of the videogame playing on the screen.

 

“I fucking hate this game, can’t we play something else? I suck.” He whined loudly. His cousin never wanted to play ‘Call of Duty’ with Taeyong because he was awful at it, his aim was shit and he couldn’t figure how _not_ to die within the first 5 minutes of a mission.

 

“ I don’t think so.” Yuta smirked, picking up the game from when he had last played. “The loser cooks.”

 

“That’s unfair, I’ve told you I suck already.”

 

“Life sucks in general, so don’t be a little bitch.”

 

“You suck.”

 

“I do.”

 

To nobody’s surprise, Yuta was victorious in their little game match, which ended with a sulky Taeyong. The worst thing about losing wasn’t losing itself, nor that he had to cook, but that he has lost to the king of teasing.

 

“Man, you really suck. I mean, from time to time I also say I suck at certain games, but that’s just to be humble. You, Taeyong, you really are bad.” Yuta cackled, successfully avoiding the blow of hot airTaeyong sent his way.

 

“Shut up.” Despite being slightly bitter about having his ass handed to him too many times, he found himself laughing along with Yuta.

 

“We’ll have to go get some stuff if you want me to cook, I doubt I can prepare something edible with only half an egg and two bottles of coke.”

 

“Right.” Yuta turned off the game console and got up from the couch, stretching his limbs. “Let me get my wallet, there’s a 24-hour store just around the corner.”

 

On their way to the store, Taeyong asked Yuta what he would like to eat, and he responded that anything was fine.

 

“Is there something you don’t like?” He asked, sorting through the different vegetables on display.

 

“I’m not picky with food, just cook whatever you feel like it. I’ll eat it.” Yuta flashed him a smile and left Taeyong in the aisle alone to get something other than coke to drink.

 

Once he had gathered everything he deemed necessary to eat, Taeyong joined Yuta in the snack aisle.

 

“Do you like spicy things? And scallion is okay, right?” He couldn’t help but ask.

 

Yuta huffed.

 

“Taeyong, I already told you, I don’t mind.”

 

“Yeah, sorry, it’s just that I’m used to Taeil’s picky habits.” He scratched the back of his neck, feeling a bit awkward. Yuta rose an eyebrow, silently  questioning him.

 

“Taeil is a bit fussy when it comes to eating, there’re a lot of things he doesn’t like.” He explained, moving towards the short line of people queuing.

 

“Really? Johnny told me you are an amazing cook, I bet Taeil eats everything you do.”

 

“Not really. When we first started dating I really liked to experiment with my cooking, though Taeil wasn’t a big fan of the results.” Taeyong chuckled, remembering the faces Taeil would pull off whenever he presented him with a new dish.

 

“Ow, that sucks.” Yuta paid the cashier for their groceries and after a polite ‘thanks’, he took the bags on his arms.

 

“Yeah, a bit, but at least it was good practice, trying to squeeze my brains out to come up with a new dish that Taeil would like.”

 

“It doesn’t matter, one should be thankful for the food. I mean, it’s not everyday somebody cooks for you.” Yuta commented, and before Taeyong could retort he added, “But I guess we don’t all think alike, right?” He smiled at him, and although Taeyong felt the necessity to stand up for Taeil, he chose not to say anything.

 

Once they were back to Yuta’s place, bags already on the counter, the slightly younger of the two asked,

 

“So, what’s the chef cooking?”

 

“Tteokbokki is fine, right?”

 

“Nice! It’s been long since I ate homemade tteokbokki.” The sincere excitement in Yuta’s eyes made Taeyong’s lips pulled into a wide grin.

 

“It’s been long since I last made this, though. Taeil doesn’t like spicy dishes nor does he like oden.”

 

“Well, it’s his loss. You need help? Not to brag, but people say I make one mean assistant.” He snorted when Yuta winked at him.

 

“Very well, assistant., you can start by washing the veggies.”

 

“Right away, sir!” Yuta saluted Taeyong in a military fashion before grabbing the ingredients on the counter.

 

Although Taeyong prefered to cook alone, he had to admit Yuta was indeed quite helpful. Cooking was fun, Taeyong very well knew that, but cooking with Yuta had proven to be even more entertaining; also, it was much quicker. In no time, they had prepared two steaming servings of teokkbokki.

 

“Damn Taeyong, this smells amazing, I can already feel saliva gathering in my mouth.”

 

Yuta was finishing setting the table while Taeyong brought the bowls, carefully settling them down on the hardwood surface.

 

“Shit, this really looks amazing.” Yuta’s eyes were shining, and Taeyong couldn’t help but find it adorable how excited he looked over such a simple dish.

 

“It does,” he agreed, looking down at his plate. “Go on, dive in.” He gestured Yuta to start eating, and after a quick whisper from his part (he thought he heard the boy saying ‘itadakimasu’) he took a big spoonful of the tteokbokki.

 

“Holy shit, Taeyong this is amazing!” He moaned, already stuffing his face with a second spoonful. “I’ve never tasted such a delicious tteokbokki.”

 

“I’m glad you like it. You helped me a lot, don’t forget that.”

 

“I did nothing, but okay, yeah, we rock.” Yuta looked extremely pleased while eating Taeyong’s dish, and his usual chatty self seemed too preoccupied with eating everything at lightspeed to make small talk like he normally did.

 

Taeyong didn’t mind at all; watching Yuta eat so vigorously something he had cooked made him _crazy_ happy. He couldn’t take his eyes off the boy in front of him, eagerly devouring everything.

 

“I’m gonna get some more, d’you want some, too?” Yuta stood up, dish clean.

 

Taeyong shook his head. He still had some left, and either way, he had a small appetite.

 

“I’m not gonna ask twice, so it’s your loss.” Yuta stuck his tongue out at him before rushing back to the tiny kitchen to help himself a second serving.

 

“Say, Yuta,” he started once the other sat down, spoon already digging in the pot in front of him.

 

“Hm?”

 

“I was thinking that we should stop buying our lunches. Maybe I could start bringing lunch, instead. What do you say?”

 

Yuta finished swallowing and after wiping himself clean with a napkin he answered,

 

“You mean...for the both of us?”

 

Taeyong nodded.

 

“Taeyong that’s really kind of you, but I can’t ask you to do that. If you want to bring your own lunch that’s fine, I’ll keep on buying. Don’t worry for me, if I couldn’t afford it I wouldn’t do it.”

 

“Ah, I think you misunderstood me.” Taeyong laughed softly. “You see, seeing as you eat ‘everything’, I was wondering if I could turn you into my guinea pig.” He explained, adding air inverted commas for emphasis. “I’ve been meaning to try lots of recipes, but I need someone brave to taste them.”

 

Yuta grinned, grabbing his glass and taking a sip of his iced tea. He held Taeyong’s gaze and nodded.

 

“I see. I’m nothing else but a try-doll for your crazy ideas.”

 

“I couldn’t have phrased it better.”

 

Yuta chuckled, propping his elbow onto the table and resting his head on his palm.

 

“I guess I can’t refuse then, that’s what friends are for, right?”

 

“I knew you would understand.”

 

“You’re too good to me, Taeyong.”

 

Taeyong just smiled brightly at him, mirroring Yuta’s pose.

 

“No, Yuta. _You_ are too good to me.”

 

{-}

 

Taeil had started noticing how Taeyong would buy more groceries than before. Their fridge never had many things, seeing as Taeil didn’t eat many veggies or fruits, but recently an alarming stash of different ingredients were filling it.

 

“Taeyong, what is all of this spinach for?” Taeil asked his boyfriend once he returned from class. It weirded him out as Taeyong knew Taeil didn’t like them at all; and Taeyong always cooked for the two of them, he rarely cooked only for himself.

 

“ I’m making spinach egg roll for tomorrow’s lunch.” Taeyong’s answer came muffled from the bedroom. “Don’t worry, it’s not for you.” He explained once he joined Taeil at the table.

 

“You’re making your lunch for tomorrow?”

 

“Yep. For me and Yuta. I think it’s a healthier option than the pork buns the cafeteria sells.”

 

“Yuta?”

 

Taeyong looked up from the Calculus book he had brought with him to study from and nodded at Taeil.

 

“Yeah, I need a victim to try my food.” He joked before going back to his book.

 

Taeil bit his lip, not liking at all what Taeyong was aiming at. The worst part was the couldn’t say absolutely anything of the sort like _‘But I’m your victim,’_ because Taeyong only cooked so many limited dishes because of him. He hated being the one who limited his boyfriend's wide culinary imagination, but he couldn’t help himself. He had always been a bit picky when it came to eating, and though he had tried to be more open-minded regarding Taeyong’s recipes, he just couldn’t do it.

 

He went back to studying with a heavy feeling in his gut.

 

{-}

 

Taeyong looked more excited than ever with the prospect of cooking again all sorts of dishes, Taeil noticed.

 

He would spend his free time surfing the net looking for all new sorts of recipes, Korean as well as Japanese. He had bought new lunchboxes and even a new thermos.

 

“What do you want for dinner tonight, Taeil? I’m going to the grocery store, want anything in particular?” Taeyong said while counting the money on his wallet.

 

“I was thinking pasta?”

 

“With filetto sauce, right?”

 

He nodded and before Taeyong left he asked something that had been bothering him since his boyfriend told him that he would be cooking for him and Yuta.

 

“Taeyong…” Said man stopped on his track turning his head to look at Taeil. “Do you always buy the ingredients for your meals? I mean, it’s okay if it’s only for you but since you’re cooking for two people…”

 

“Don’t worry, Taeil. Yuta gives me enough money to buy things for the both of us, if that’s what you were worried about?

 

“Ah, yes.” Taeil felt himself flushed. “‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry or anything just-”

 

“It’s okay, you were concerned for me. It’s sweet, don’t feel bad about it. I’ll be back.” Taeyong waved at him and closed the door.

 

Taeil knew he was just on edge because Taeyong’s relationship with Yuta made him feel uneasy. The worst part was that Taeil couldn’t even get mad at Taeyong for spending most of his  time with his ex-tutor because his boyfriend, no matter how tired or busy, he always had a sweet smile for him. He would listen attentively to everything Taeil had to say, he would cook for him his favourite dishes, and he never forgot to kiss him or remind him how much he loved him.

 

Taeil didn’t want to admit he was mad because Yuta had been making Taeyong’s life a bit brighter and, though he absolutely loved it when Taeyong was in such a good mood, the bitter reminder that it wasn’t his doing was always present.

 

For the first time in years, he feared that his connection with Taeyong wouldn’t prove to be as strong as he thought.

 

He was pulled out of his thoughts when his boyfriend came back, a tiny grin on his face.

 

“All done,” he announced, going straight to the kitchen. “I’ll start cooking, if you need anything just tell me.”

 

Taeil just responded with a weak _“Okay”_ , angry at himself for even doubting their relationship in the first place. However, he couldn’t stop thinking about it even during the meal and once Taeil had washed all of the plates and glasses, he decided he needed to stop being silly.

 

He heard Taeyong’s voice calling for him from their sofa, and he immediately joined him, resting his head on the other’s shoulder. When he slung his arm over him, he noticed an odd smell coming from Taeyong’s hand. He moved his head closer and sniffed carefully, suddenly pushing Taeyong’s arm off him.

 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, concerned.

 

“Your hands reek of garlic.” Taeil scrunched his nose. He absolutely _hated_ garlic.

 

Taeyong looked at him, eyes wide, and sniffed at his hands.

 

“Well, there’s a faint smell, but they don’t reek.” Taeyong sounded a bit hurt by Taeil’s behaviour and words.

 

“Did you wash your hands after cooking?”

 

“Taeil, are you kidding me? I fucking hate germs, why wouldn’t I wash my hands. You know the garlic smell is quite strong and it’s hard to remove.” Now Taeyong sounded mad, and Taeil felt a pang of guilt. He didn’t mean to overreact, but really, garlic smelled disgusting for him.

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that, it’s just…” He trailed off, unsure of how to proceed.

 

Taeyong sighed and folded his arms.

 

“It’s okay, don’t worry.”

 

“No, it’s not. I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” Taeil grinned when Taeyong smiled gently at him. “You can use my hand cream if you want.” He offered, though it seemed like the wrong thing to say when Taeyong’s face fell.

 

“I don’t mind the smell, Taeil, it’s you who can’t stand it.” He said, sounding tired and getting up from the couch.

 

“Taeyong, wait.”

 

“I’m tired, I’m going to bed. I left some fried rice for you to eat tomorrow. Good night.” Taeyong headed towards their shared bedroom without looking back.

 

The pang of guilt came back, only this time it was ten times stronger.

 

{-}

 

“Spinach roll egg?”

 

Taeyong nodded, feeling how his lips pulled into a tiny smile upon hearing the excitement dripping from Yuta’s voice.

 

“I haven’t eaten this in years,” he exclaimed, taking a large serving and popping it into his mouth. He hummed loudly, nodding. “As expected from you. Absolutely _good_.”

 

Taeyong flushed, Yuta always went over the top to compliment him, even if all he cooked were simple dishes.

 

“I’m glad you like it .” He began eating as well, enjoying the silly faces Yuta would make whenever he took another bite of his lunchbox. He chuckled lightly; his friend could be so extra sometimes. In one of his exaggerated movements Yuta missed his mouth and ended up poking his cheek with the chopsticks.

 

Taeyong almost choked and Yuta burst into laughter at his own clumsiness.

 

“Oh my God, Yuta. Can you please eat properly?” Taeyong softly reprimanded him, taking a sip of his water.

 

“Sorry, I’ll stop now.” He chuckled and went back to his meal.

 

Taeyong noticed that Yuta had smeared a bit of soy sauce on his left cheek where the he had poked himself with the chopsticks.

 

“You’ve got soy sauce on your cheek.” He pointed out, touching the side of his cheek.

 

Yuta blinked at him and wiped his right cheek and looking back at his hand.

 

“No, no. Here.” Taeyong took a napkin and wiped Yuta’s cheek. Suddenly, Yuta took his hand and brought it to his nose, sniffing it.

 

“Your hands smell like garlic.” He commented with a tiny smile, expression changing quickly when Taeyong rapidly retreated his hand from his grasp, folding it on his lap. He looked upset and a bit embarrassed.

 

“Well, sorry if it bothers you, it’s not my fault. I mean, I was co-”

 

“Taeyong,” Yuta interrupted him. “It’s not a bad thing, why are you apologizing? I never said it bothered me.” Taeyong relaxed his shoulder when Yuta grinned softly at him. He extended his arm and, just like before, took Taeyong’s folded hand between his, bringing it closer to his nose.

 

“Don’t think I’m creepy, okay? But I really like how your hands smell.” Yuta flushed a bit under Taeyong’s questioning gaze. “They always smell of spices and onion or garlic. It means you’re hardworking. I like it, so don't hide your hands.” He finished, giving Taeyong back his hand.

 

“You’re weird.” Taeyong laughed, ignoring how fast his heart was hammering inside of his ribcage. He rested his hands on the table, feeling a lot better than before. “Why would you like it?”

 

“Because it means you’ve put a lot of effort into our lunch. It makes me happy to know you go out of your way to do something for me.”

 

Taeyong felt his throat closed upon Yuta’s bashful smile and kind words.

 

“My hands used to be green all the time when I was a teenager. I worked at a flower shop and I absolutely hated it, but once my mom told me that I should be proud of them. It was a sign that I was working really hard, and there’s no shame in hard work.”

 

“I know I’ve already told you his, but your mom really sounds wise. I wonder where all that wisdom went in that head of yours,” Taeyong teased, feeling embarrassed at how effortless it was for Yuta to put him at ease.

 

“Shut up, don’t think I don’t notice how you like to be all buttered up,” Yuta teased back, chuckling when Taeyong’s cheek heated up.

 

Taeyong groaned, and threw a rolled up napkin at Yuta’s stupid face.

 

{-}

 

The creaking of the front door alerted Taeil that Taeyong was back. He paused his episode of ‘Running Man’ and got up from the couch.

 

His boyfriend had big, dark circles under his tired-looking eyes, and he looked like he was about to drop dead on the middle of the dining room.

 

“Hey babe,” Taeil pecked him and took his bag for him. “Rough day?” Taeyong just nodded, moving to the kitchen to inspect their fridge He hadn't been able to grab a bite earlier and he was famished.

 

He frowned when he saw how little ingredients they had on the fridge. He groaned, realising it was Friday and they usually went shopping on Sundays. There was some seaweed and fish broth.

 

He instantly thought of seaweed soup, silently praying Taeil wouldn't say a thing.

 

“Taeil, there’s not much in the fridge...I’ll just make some seaweed soup, alright?” He said when he spotted his boyfriend entering their tiny kitchen.

 

“There’s nothing else to eat? Taeyong, you know I don’t really like seaweed…” Taeil didn’t mean to sound like a spoiled brat, but his boyfriend already knew it.

 

“I know, baby, but our fridge is almost empty. Just for today, let’s eat this, okay? Tomorrow I’ll cook some bulgogi, I promise.”

 

“There’s not even ramen?” Taeil tried.

 

“Not even a cup. We probably need to go shopping tomorrow.” Taeyong commented while taking out the seaweed and leaving it on the counter, taking one pot to fill it with water.

 

Taeil gnawed at his lip.

 

“Don’t you want me to go to the store and buy some ramen?”

 

Taeyong settled the pot on the burner to boil the water and gave Taeil a tired look.

 

“It’s late and the store is a bit far. I’m really hungry, and this will take like, ten minutes only.”

 

“If I walk fast I can make it in only fifteen minutes, and the ramen only takes like three minutes to cook.”

 

“Taeil, please, don’t be like this. Let’s just eat what we have.”

 

Taeil really didn’t want to keep arguing with Taeyong when he looked so drained, but when his boyfriend threw on the pot the chopped seaweed he couldn’t help himself.

 

“I’ll just go real fast, you won’t even not-”

 

“Taeil, why can’t you just eat what I cook for once? I’m not asking you much.”

 

“Taeyong, you know I don’t like seaweed at all.”

 

“I know, but just for today. I’m always cooking what you like, so just for once, stop acting like a damn brat.” Taeil flinched when Taeyong suddenly raised his voice.

 

“I’m tired as hell and I don’t need for you to throw a tantrum just because of some silly dish.” His boyfriend wasn’t even looking at him, he kept adding things to the pot that Taeil was sure he didn’t like.

 

“I’m not asking you to go to the store, you just have to wait for me, I’ll be back real soon,” Taeil argued back. It wouldn’t even take twenty minutes! If Taeyong weren’t so stubborn Taeil would already been on his way to the damn store.

 

“For fuck’s sake, Taeil. Why are you like this? I never, ever, ask you to eat something you don’t like. I can barely keep my eyes open and even so, I’m cooking for the both of us because you can’t even boil and egg. Why can’t you be like Yuta?” Taeyong spat angrily, hitting with his fist the counter, startling Taeil.

 

“Taeyong, I-” Taeil couldn’t believe his ears. Had Taeyong really compared him with Yuta? That was a low blow.

 

“Forget it.” He cut him off, and turned the stove off. “Go buy your damn ramen and eat alone, I’ll just go to sleep. I can’t deal with this.”

 

“Wait, Taeyong.” Taeil tried to stop his boyfriend but Taeyong just shrugged him off and headed towards their shared bedroom. 

 

Taeil felt himself fall deeper into despair.

 

Even when next morning, Taeyong apologised profusely for his behaviour.

 

_“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I’m sorry for shouting at you. I was so tired, but still, that’s not a valid to reason to take it out on you, there’s never a valid reason to shout at you.”_

 

Taeil had forgiven him the second he saw Taeyong’s body sleeping soundly on their bed . He had apologized as well. Afterall, he could have been a bit more considerate towards Taeyong. He really was just trying his best.

 

 

{-}

 

 

“Ten’s holding a party, wanna come?”

 

They were currently chilling in Taeyong’s place. It was the first time Yuta had ever stepped inside and he had looked genuinely surprised at how organized and spotless everything was.

 

_“I don’t know how Taeil can live with you.”_

_“He’s just grateful I like doing household chores.”_

_“Ah, such a perfect husband, Taeyong. I really should get married to you, you’ll keep our house clean while I go dick around with Ten.”_

_“Keep dreaming, Nakamoto.”_

 

Taeyong frowned from his spot on the kitchen, searching for some snacks.

 

“I’m not really a party person,” he answered, carrying a bag of chili potato chips and some gummies he had found.

 

“Well, Ten doesn’t care. He wants you to go and, believe me, it’s impossible to say no to Ten. He wants to see your crazy dancer moves.” Yuta took the bag of chips out of Taeyong’s hand and opened it, starting to munch away happily at the crispy potatoes.

 

“You better not leave crumbs, I vacuumed yesterday,” he warned, taking a seat beside Yuta on the carpeted floor. He had never been the party type of teenager back in high school; he was one of the more laid back kids. Granted, he was sure Ten could convince him. The Thai boy had a scary ability to twist people around his finger. “When is it?”

 

“This Saturday. You can bring Taeil if you want, the more the merrier.” Yuta yelped when Taeyong slapped his hand.

 

“Don’t clean your greasy hands with the carpet, what the fuck? Go bring some napkins or something,” Taeyong said with a scowl.

 

Yuta only smiled playfully and stood up. “Sorry,” he chuckled while fetching some paper napkins.

 

“I’ll ask him,” Taeyong answered once Yuta was back, hands without a trace of grease.

 

“Good.” Yuta nodded and looked around the room. “Where’s Taeil by the way?”

 

“Singing lessons, he’s got a recital coming up.”

 

“How nice. I bet he’s amazing.” Yuta sat down, using Taeyong as his personal chair.

 

“Ugh, move fatass.” He pushed him away, laughing at Yuta’s wounded expression.

 

“Fatass? I swear, you’re hanging out too much with Ten.”

 

“Or maybe you really are just a fatass.”

 

Taeyong’s stopped cackling when Yuta tackled him, getting on top of him and restraining his arms above his head.

 

“Repeat that.” He threatened, a dangerous glint swirling in his eyes.

 

Taeyong shouldn’t have felt so flustered, but Yuta’s weight on top of him made him a little breathless. The other boy was so close that he could feel his breath fanning against him. And really, it wasn’t the first time Yuta took advantage of Taeyong’s weak ass to one up him when they were playing around. This time, however, he could feel his throat drying. His hands began to become clammy and Yuta frowned when faced with Taeyong’s silence.

 

“Everything alright? You look a bit red on the face.” He let go of Taeyong’s wrists in order to stroke him softly on his cheeks and forehead. He looked genuinely concerned.

 

He didn’t know what was worse: Yuta getting rough with him or Yuta touching him gently, worry evident on his face. Sensing Yuta was distracted, Taeyong sat upright and shoved him away, heart drumming inside his chest. _What’s wrong with me?_

 

“That was fucking cheap Lee Taeyong. You had me worried for a minute there. How dare you?” Yuta scoffed, flipping him off. “Dude, not even Jaehyun pulls that crap on me.”

 

“I can’t believe you roll around with Jaehyun. He’s like two heads taller than you and looks like he could take you out any minute,” Taeyong smirked, smoothly changing the topic and silently thanking the universe that Yuta had the attention span of a golden fish.

 

Yuta’s jaw went slack, clearly surprised.

 

“Excuse me? I’ll have you know I could beat his ass anytime.” He stood up, visibly annoyed and walked towards the other. “But I’m gonna beat your ass first for spitting nonsense.”

 

Taeyong stood up quickly, alarmed. Yuta had quite a heavy hand and even when they were fooling around, he was prone to bruising Taeyong.

 

“Get the fuck away from me, Yuta,” he shouted while running away to his bedroom.

 

“Get your ass here, you pussy!” The other male yelled back, sprinting towards Taeyong and Taeil’s room. Once his socks-cladded feet left the rug and stepped onto the wooden floor, they slipped and Yuta fell backwards.

 

Taeyong, already in his room, went out when he heard the sound of a body dropping on the floor.

 

“Yuta?” He asked, biting his cheek not to laugh at the scene before him.

 

“I can sense your eat-shitting smirk from here, you fuck.”

 

“What happened?” Taeyong just asked for the sake of it, having a clear idea of why Yuta was sprawled all over his floor.

 

“Shut up, I fucking slipped. Who the fuck waxes their floor, what the fuck.” Though he sounded quite angry, he made no motion of getting up.

 

Taeyong crouched beside him and moved his fringe out of his face, revealing a scowling Yuta.

 

“Does your head hurt?”

 

“My pride hurts more.” Taeyong’s weak flicker of concern was replaced with amusement.

 

“You’ll live,” he said while flicking Yuta softly on the forehead.

 

“Ouch, you dickhead, I’m wounded.” Taeyong ignored Yuta’s whines and moved towards the bathroom to find some painkillers.

 

 _Nothing happened,_ he told himself, fleetingly remembering their little episode.

 

_I’m okay, we’re okay._

 

 

{-}

 

Despite Taeyong having already known Taeil wouldn’t want to go to Ten’s party, he still felt disappointed when his boyfriend rejected the invitation with a kind smile.

 

_“It’s okay, Taeyong. Go and have fun. You know I’d rather stay at home and practice,” he had answered, laughing to himself quietly at Taeyong’s sulking face. “Next time, okay?”_

 

They both knew he had said “next time” only to appease Taeyong, not because he actually believe he would go with Taeyong to a party in the near future.

 

So there he was, in Ten’s impossibly large apartment full of people he had never seen. Taeyong thought he could recognise some faces, but the mood lighting was proving to be quite unhelpful.

 

“Taeyong!” He turned around when he heard his name.

 

Making his way through the crowd was Yuta, looking impossibly good in a pair of black tight jeans and a pink sleeveless shirt, with the words “Made in Japan” written across it. He was also wearing a pair of pink converse. Once he reached Taeyong he hugged the other briefly, and took him by the arm to take him to the kitchen.

 

“Thanks for coming. I’m sorry we couldn’t meet up earlier, but Ten wanted me here to help him out.”

 

“It’s fine, don’t worry.”

 

“Where’s Taeil by the way? Ten wanted to meet him.” Yuta began rifling through the kitchen’s cabinets, taking out a pair of glasses and some fancy bottles. “Take a seat, I’m going to prepare some drinks. Anything in particular you like?”

 

The stools were cushioned, and the velvet material felt amazingly comfortable under Taeyong’s weight.

 

“He couldn’t make it. He says he appreciates the invitation and that he’ll try to come next time.” Yuta nodded while pouring some of the content of the bottles into the glasses. “Anything is fine by me, though I’m not a big drinker,” Taeyong added.

 

“I see.” Yuta answered distractedly while he kept adding different things to the glasses. What was once a transparent liquid was now rapidly turning into a suspicious blue beverage.

 

“You’re gonna love this. Nakamoto’s Special Blueberry Bomb,” he announced, sitting down on the stool besides Taeyong. “Here, try it.” He gave him one of the glasses and took a sip from his own.

 

Taeyong eyed the drink, not fully trusting its almost neon colour.

 

“Don’t be like that, come on. I promise you’re not gonna die.” Yuta nudged him, whining.

 

“Right.” Taeyong brought the glass close to his nose, sniffing it lightly. The strong smell of alcohol fired alarms off in his head, but he decided one sip couldn’t hurt.

 

It felt like liquid lava was sliding awfully slow down his throat. He coughed, leaving the glass on the counter, “What the hell is this?”

 

Yuta was laughing madly besides him, wiping some imaginary tears from the corner of his eyes.

 

“Aw, our Taeyongie is such a softie with alcohol,” he teased, patting the other on the head.

 

“Shut up dickhead, this tastes awful.” He slapped Yuta’s hand away and fixed his hair.

 

“I know, but two glasses of this shit and I swear you’ll be out in one second.” Yuta gulped down his glass and stood up from the stool. “Let’s go dance.”

 

What Taeyong assumed was the living room had been transformed into some sort of dance floor, disco ball included. The deafening music was blasting through huge speakers in each corner of the room, with Johnny standing in the middle with a DJ console. There were even flashing lights and those lights with patterns Taeyong remembered from one of the only nights he had gone clubbing.

 

Yuta had grabbed him by the hand and dragged him into the middles of the dance floor, where Ten and Jaehyun were dancing their hearts out.

 

“Taeyong, you made it!” a clearly drunk Ten whispered in his ear when he spotted him. Taeyong smiled a bit awkwardly and nodded. “Yuta told me you dance, so you better move that ass.”  He laughed as if he had told a hilarious joke, and slapped Taeyong on the aforementioned ass before moving on to Jaehyun once again.

 

Yuta, Jaehyun and Ten looked like the typical party college kids, dancing the same dance for every song Johnny played. It was fun though, and Taeyong ended up laughing non-stop at the silly dance moves they came up with.  The number of people who came into the party was increasing by the minute, and at one point Taeyong couldn’t even try to rise his hand without knocking someone’s head.

 

It was immensely stuffy in the room, and Taeyong could feel his once pristine red shirt, now sticky with sweat, clinging uncomfortably to his back. He took a look at the trio looking as fresh as ever, unbothered by the heat and the lack of breathable air. When Yuta made eye-contact with him, he nodded towards the kitchen with his head, and after Yuta nodded back and said something to Ten, the two of them walked out of the living room.

 

“Thirsty?” Yuta asked, opening the fridge and taking out a bottle of water, throwing it to Taeyong. His bangs were sticking to his forehead, and there was a thin layer of sweat covering his whole body, but he looked otherwise pristine, unlike Taeyong.

 

“Thanks,” Taeyong replied, catching the bottle and gulping it down. He let out a long sigh when he finished and looked back at Yuta, who was studying him with a little smirk drawn on his lips.

 

“What?”

 

Yuta shook his head and got closer to Taeyong, fixing his hair.

 

“You really look handsome tonight,” he chuckled lightly. “Red suits you.”

 

Taeyong bit his lip and averted his gaze away from Yuta.

 

“Thanks.” His tongue felt heavy on his mouth all of a sudden.

 

“Are you having fun?”

 

Taeyong looked back at the other. Yuta was watching him with a glint of concern on his eyes. He grinned and nodded.

 

“Yeah. Surprisingly, I’m having a great time. You guys are great fun.” He laughed, remembering Jaehyun and Yuta’s attempts at twerking.

 

“I’m glad.” Yuta grinned, pleased.

 

“But,” he began, “I wouldn’t mind going out for a moment… I’m starting to feel a bit claustrophobic.”

 

“I’m pretty sure the garden is crowded as hell too.”

 

“Let’s go somewhere else, then,” Taeyong offered.

 

“You mean, ditch the party?”

 

Yuta frowned when Taeyong nodded.

 

“I’m pretty sure the rooftop is empty, why don’t we go upstairs? We can come back down once you’re feeling well.”

 

“Thanks, but I really would rather get out of the house. If you want to stay that’s okay, I’ll just go and grab my coat.” Taeyong smiled to let Yuta know it was okay.

 

“Wait, I’ll come with you.”

 

“It’s fine Yuta, stay. Ten might get upset if you leave right now.”

 

Yuta rolled his eyes and grabbed Taeyong by the elbow, guiding him out of the kitchen and into some other room with coats all over the floor.

 

“I’m pretty sure Ten and Jaehyun are drunk enough to forget about me. They’re probably gonna make out or something later. Not a sight I want to witness, honestly.” Yuta began sorting through the different coats befores grabbing two almost identical black jackets.

 

“Is there something going on between them?” Taeyong asked, accepting his own jacket that Yuta handed him. He tried to remember if Ten and Jaehyun had been acting any different than before.

 

“I’m not entirely sure, and I’d rather not ask. It kind of disturbs me a bit.” Taeyong’s laugh spilled over his lips upon seeing Yuta’s disgusted face.

 

“Come on, let’s get out of here.”

 

{-}

 

“Where did you want to go anyways?”

 

“I don’t know, I’m not familiar with this area.”

 

Yuta sighed, stuffing his hands into his pockets once he heard Taeyong’s response. The night was chilly and his thin jacket was doing a poor job at keeping him warm.

 

“Right. Sorry, I forgot I know Seoul even better than you.”

 

Taeyong shove him a little and he laughed.

 

“Shut up. Anywhere is fine.”

 

Yuta nodded and kept walking, Taeyong beside him. They didn’t talk much, the silence too comfortable to attempt to break. The streets were quiet and the only thing lightening their path was the streetlights with their dim orange glow; the moon had long ago hidden itself between the heavy clouds.

 

Right now it seemed as if Yuta and Taeyong were the only people in the world, Taeyong thought. However, the noiselessness of the atmosphere and the somber looking night made him feel strangely calm. The moment seemed devoid of all life, empty even of the light sounds of their shoes chafing against the wet pavement.

 

Yuta, Taeyong realised, had guided them to the Han River, prettily lit by the various colours of the bridges that crossed above it.

 

“You really like water,” he commented offhandedly, sitting down next to Yuta on a bench right in front of Seoul’s most characteristic river.

 

“I do. It helps me relax,” Yuta responded, smiling briefly.

 

Taeyong looked at Yuta’s side profile and sigh.

 

“You’re so strange.” He grinned softly when the other male turned his head to look at him, a question in his eyes.

 

“You’re the loudest person I know, and the most extroverted too.” Taeyong looked back at the river, letting his eyes lazily absorb the beauty of such an empty night. “But still, on the inside, you’re so calm. People might view you  like a storm, unpredictable and a bit disastrous, but really, I know you’re a lot more similar to the calm after it. The kind of peace that people so often feel drawn to, the kind of peace they didn’t know was so relieving. You’re such an interesting person, Yuta. Sometimes I feel I know all of you, but in reality, I don’t know anything.”

 

Taeyong was too absorbed in the view before him to notice that Yuta hadn’t stopped looking at him. He had his eyes set on the Korean male, pupils intensely studying him in the most fascinated of ways. Yuta’s heart was hammering inside of his chest so hard he feared it might stop working all of a sudden and his hands felt unusually clammy.

 

He felt his ears ringing and his pulse kicking up.

 

 _Fuck,_ he thought, panicking.

 

“I’m so glad we met, Yuta.” Taeyong laid his head on the back of the bench, and was now looking at him with the gentlest smile the Japanese boy had ever witnessed.

 

For once, Yuta was rendered speechless. No witty comeback on the tip of his tongue, no smart remark. His tongue felt like sand inside of his mouth and he forced himself to swallow to moisten his arid throat.

 

Taeyong looked so ethereal looking at Yuta, as if he was more worthy of his attention than the splendid colours dancing in the water in front of them.

 

“Lee Taeyong, you are even stranger than I am,” Yuta said, no traces of joke found on his face.

 

Taeyong just sighed and dropped his head on his friend’s shoulder.

 

“Maybe. Maybe that’s why we get along so well.”

 

Yuta couldn’t suppress his smile, dropping his head atop of Taeyong’s. With his heart on his throat, Yuta slowly took his hand out of his pocket and reached for Taeyong’s hand. He intertwined their fingers together and brought them back to his pocket, all the while feeling his pulse on his ears, afraid Taeyong would reject him.

 

Taeyong just hummed and squeezed his hand, snuggling even closer to Yuta.

 

“Your hands are cold.”

 

“And yours are very warm. You’re always so warm, Taeyong.”

 

 

{-}

 

After the night of Ten’s party, Taeyong felt even closer to Yuta, if that was possible. They had talked for hours; about silly things, about serious things. It surprised him how Yuta and he wouldn’t run out of things to say, always coming up with a new topic.

 

He couldn’t wait to see Yuta that morning, the fluttering feeling in his gut from two nights before slowly waking up once again at the thought of his friend's dashing smile.

 

He had never felt so close to anyone, apart from his boyfriend. Taeyong wasn’t afraid to share whatever insecurities lurked around in his mind with Yuta, knowing he too was full of worries and flaws just like him. It was comforting, seeing as Yuta didn’t look to solve his problems nor to try and cheer him up; he just listened to him, attentively. He let Taeyong unload his brain on him, his fingers caressing his palm, the only visible sign of comfort he provided. It was enough for Taeyong.

 

However, strangely, Yuta was nowhere to be seen. He looked for him in the places they would hang out together on campus, only to find their usual spots empty. He went to class, trying to tell himself not to jump to absurd conclusions. Maybe he had fallen asleep, though it wasn’t very likely. Yuta was a morning person, and sometimes he got to the uni before Taeyong. Maybe he was sick? Taeyong was sure he would have sent him a text or something if that were the case. Or maybe he was so sick he couldn’t even text?

 

He tried his hardest to pay attention to what his professor was saying, but he couldn’t help but grow more anxious as the more time it passed without a notice from Yuta. Texting Ten seemed like a good option, and so that’s what he did, sending a quick, “ _Is Yuta okay? Didn’t see him around today._ ”

 

_“I guess, havent talked to him today”_

 

Taeyong groaned after reading Ten’s useless reply. He was in the middles of texting him back when another message came from him.

 

_“He’s with me now, dont worry”_

 

Taeyong felt his body relaxed. He had to refrain from laughing out loud, for he felt absolutely stupid, worrying so much over Yuta just because he hadn’t seen him that morning.

 

_“Tell him to text me later, then. Thanks.”_

 

With a long sigh, he released all of the tenseness his body had accumulated during his short-lived attack of concern. Taeyong let out a chuckle, feeling quite silly for fussing so much over his friend. He couldn’t help it, it was in his nature to try and maintain everything under control.

 

When lunchtime came around, he knew that he would laugh with Yuta about how silly he had behaved, and Yuta would probably poke fun at him for being such a mother hen.

Nevertheless, when lunchtime arrived, there wasn’t any sign of Yuta and his phone was devoid of any text messages. Alright, now Taeyong was starting to feel a bit upset. Yuta could have sent him a text or something, just to let him know he wouldn’t eat with him or whatever.

 

Lunch boxes on top the table, he opened his conversation with Yuta and sent him a short text, asking where he was and if he was coming. Shortly after, a reply came in.

 

_“Sorry Taeyong, wont make it busy with a project, see you later.”_

 

Taeyong visibly deflated with a huff, the possibility of Yuta not having lunch with him far too strange. Although he was used to eating alone, since he had met the other male he had grown used to eating with company.

 

He tried to stay optimistic and ignore the little ball of anxiety that had started to roll in his stomach, telling him something was definitely off with his friend. It was alright; they would probably see each other later.

 

Only they didn’t. They didn’t see each other that day, nor the following day, nor that whole week.

 

Taeyong was going nuts. He had thought over everything he could have possibly said and everything he had done in the last two weeks with no avail as to figuring out what he had done. There had to be something, maybe a misplaced joke? A judgemental comment or even some unwelcome reaction? He had no idea why all of a sudden Yuta had stopped talking to him. Well, not talking _per se_ _;_ more like avoiding him.

 

They still talked on the phone, via text messages that was, but the Japanese male felt so distant it scared Taeyong. He had become somehow addicted to Yuta’s warm and radiant presence. Heck, since they had started hanging out he couldn’t remember a day in which they weren’t together. Aside from those reserved for Taeil only, of course.

 

“Taeyong, you’re gonna make your lip bleed. If you’re so worried about Yuta, just meet up with him,” Taeil said one night, a bit irritated.

 

Since his boyfriend had stopped seeing Yuta he had become distressed and there wasn’t a minute in the day during which he didn’t check his phone. Taeil understood how important Yuta had become for Taeyong, and he too, understood the value of a friend. However, it irked him than not even Taeil’s best attempts at cheering him up worked. He couldn’t deny how the other boy had made such an impact on his boyfriend’s life.

 

He smiled bitterly. Taeil appreciated Yuta’s friendship with Taeyong without a doubt, no matter how much he disliked him. His boyfriend was more outgoing, a little bit less fearful of expressing his thoughts and even a little bit… happier. While Taeil had made a few cracks on Taeyong’s hardened shell, Yuta had come through and broke it down to pieces.

 

It was okay, though. They were different people, and they influenced Taeyong in different ways. Taeil knew how meaningful he was for Taeyong.

 

Everything was fine.

 

_Everything was fine._

 

Taeyong stopped rolling his lip between his teeth and looked at Taeil with a concerned expression.

 

“But what if he doesn’t want to see me? Maybe I offended him or something.”

 

Taeil smiled softly at his boyfriend. He was such a sensitive person. People always thought Taeil was the more emotional one between the two of them, the one who couldn’t avoid wearing his heart on his sleeve, when really Taeil hadn’t known someone as connected to his emotions as Taeyong.

 

“Taeyong, I know you better than anyone. I don’t think it’s possible for you to offend someone. Maybe he is going some through hard stuff. In that case, you should go see him.” Taeil motioned Taeyong to get closer to him, and he complied.

 

The burgundy cushions of the sofa flattened when Taeyong sat, dropping his head on Taeil’s shoulders.

 

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to drag you into my problems.” The younger sighed.

 

“It’s okay. You can always count on me.” Taeyong smiled when he felt his boyfriend’s index finger slowly caressing his jaw.

  

The vibration from Taeyong’s phone was enough to spring them apart, Taeil because he jolted and Taeyong because he was frantically trying to enter his passcode.

 

The look of pure bliss on his boyfriend’s face drew a sigh out of Taeil. He wanted to be mad; he didn’t know why if he were to be honest with himself. Yuta could elicit some of the best reactions out of Taeyong and the fact that he had seen a whole new palette of them because of the Japanese male, well, it  made Taeil feel... _inferior._

“Babe, Yuta texted me. He said we could meet up if I was free. You don’t mind, do you?”

 

_How unfair._

The word ‘no’ had such a foreign taste on Taeil’s tongue. It felt strange and it was a word his vocal chords weren’t use to producing. When it came to Taeyong right now, Taeil was sure the word wasn’t even real. Because with Taeyong his lips didn’t know how to round up, the only thing his mouth knew how to do was to bite its tongue softly and then open up to let the fleeting sound come out.

 

_Yes._

“Of course not. Go on, I’ll wait for you. You can tell me later if you solve things.”

 

Taeyong nodded and smiled brightly.

 

_How unfair._

 

“You’re the best, baby. Catch you later!” He pressed his lips to Taeil’s, too quickly for his liking, and exited the house.

 

 

{-}

 

Taeyong was still recovering his breath when he felt a familiar body pressed beside his. The familiar scent of grass and Yuta’s favourite deodorant enveloped him like a warm blanket, shielding him from the scary thoughts that had been swirling around his mind for the past weeks. The relief he felt was evident as a content sigh escaped from his mouth. Still, he didn’t say anything, too afraid to break the fragile silence that they had built over the last two weeks.

 

“I’m sorry.” If Taeyong hadn’t been so bent on hanging onto Yuta’s every word, he might have missed it, as his voice had been only but a slight sound. Yuta cleared his throat and started again. “I’m sorry”. This time, he faced Taeyong, determination shining bright in his eyes.

 

“I pushed you away for a selfish reason and I didn’t realise I was hurting you in the process. You don’t deserve me treating you like this. You have been nothing but an amazing friend, Taeyong.”

 

“It’s okay! Don’t-.” Yuta shushed him softly.

 

“Just let me talk, okay?” He proceeded when Taeyong nodded at him, and smiled slightly when he made a zipping motion with his hand.

 

“ Just...don’t worry about me. I mean, I know you’re a worrier, and I’m pretty sure all kinds of ideas went through your head these last two weeks.” Yuta chuckled, dryly. “I’m fine now, I just needed some time to think about certain things. It’s not like I don’t trust you, because you know I do. I didn’t want you to worry about something silly. Sorry. I promise I’m alright now, and I would love for us to go back to how we were if that’s alright with you?”

 

Yuta was nervous, Taeyong could tell.

 

One of the reasons he admired the other so much was because he had always proved how fearless and bold he was. And now, even though he was looking straight into Taeyong’s eyes, he looked so vulnerable and nervous. He couldn’t help but smile upon the sight.

 

The oh-so manly man Yuta looked so small like this, auburn hair parted and jacket bigger than himself. Just like a child asking for forgiveness for eating candy before dinner.

 

“I don’t know, can we?” The sudden coldness in Taeyong’s voice startled Yuta, who widened his eyes, perplexed. “I mean, think you can toss me around and then crawl back to me?”

 

Yuta hit Taeyong in the head when he smirked.

 

“Stupid ass. I thought you were being serious!” He laughed out loud, relief coursing through his body. Taeyong laughed too, happy to have his friend back.

 

“Please never pull a crap like that again, I was dead worried, you know?” Taeyong pouted and Yuta just chuckled. “You know that you can talk to me anytime, right?”

 

“Sorry. And thank you.” Yuta stood up and pulled Taeyong with him. “Come on, I’ll treat you to something tasty, since I was the one at fault.”

 

“If you not talking to me is all it takes for you to treat me, then maybe we should stop talking on a daily basis.” Taeyong quickly avoid Yuta’s knuckles and burst into laughter.

 

“Shut up, maybe I will.” Yuta started walking off, leaving Taeyong behind.

 

“Aw, don’t get mad, I was just joking.” He hugged him from behind and then, with an arm slung over Yuta’s shoulder, he started walking next to him.

 

“Come on, silly boy. I know a place where they served the best Thai food ever.”

 

 

{-}

 

Taeil should have been happy for Taeyong, he was no longer sulking in their flat nor was he constantly checking his phone. Still, he didn’t like Yuta. He had tried to convinced himself that Taeyong wouldn’t do a thing to hurt him but seeing how his mood suddenly went up whenever he hang out with the Japanese male, it  was enough for Taeil’s heart to shake, uncertainty pumping uncontrollably through his veins.

 

It irked him that not even Taeil’s best attempts to cheer him up whenever Taeyong had a stressful day were as efficient as Yuta’s cringy puns.

 

“Baby?” he called gently.

 

“Yeah?” Taeyong looked up from his notebook to acknowledge his boyfriend.

 

“I was thinking…” He began, breathing slowly, “Yuta’s single, right?” It was clearly bullshit; he knew it to be so.

 

Taeyong nodded, slowly, confusion taking over his features.

 

“Why?”

 

“You see, I have a friend. You remember Hansol, right?” He waited for Taeyong to nod before continuing. “Well, I think he would suit Yuta very nicely. Maybe we can introduce them to each other?”

 

Taeyong furrowed his eyebrows, closing his notebook.

 

“Yuta’s not interested in dating, he told me so himself.”

 

“Even so, I don’t think it would hurt to give it a shot, right? Hansol too is single and he is an amazing person. Maybe we can get Yuta to settle down! It’d be great. We could even go on double dates, or something.”

_Or something,_ how lame. Taeil very well knew he would never go out with Yuta, double date or not. They just didn’t match at all.

 

“Where is all of this coming from?”

 

“I just...thought it’d be a good idea, don’t you agree? Don’t you want to see your friend happy?” he attempted.

 

“Yuta doesn’t need to be in a relationship to be happy, he’s the freest soul I’ve ever met.” Taeyong stated, giving Taeil a side glance. “He’s okay single, don’t worry about him.” He tried to go back to his writing when his boyfriend’s voice interrupted him.

 

“I just…” Taeil felt himself shrinking in his seat under Taeyong’s hot gaze. “Why don’t you want him to be in a relationship?”

 

Taeyong rolled his eyes and Taeil didn’t like it a bit.

 

“I never said that, Taeil.”

 

“Then why are you so against the idea?” Taeil challenged. He wasn’t going to back down, and Taeyong better knew that.

 

“It’s not like I’m against the idea of Yuta dating. I’ve told you already, he’s not interested.”

 

“Let me try at least.”

 

“God, Taeil,“ he sounded exasperated now. “Why are you obsessing over this? Just let it go.”

 

“Because Hansol might change Yuta’s mind! You know what? Forget it, I’ll ask Yuta myself.” Taeil made a motion to take Taeyong’s phone, but the other quickly took it out of his reach.

 

“What are you doing?

 

“I was trying to get Yuta’s number,” he answered, aiming for an innocent tone.

 

“Stop it, Taeil. Yuta doesn’t need anyone in his life.” Taeyong’s firm tone made his heart shrink. Was he imagining or did Taeyong sound...jealous?

 

“You sound like his dad or something. What, afraid he’s going to ditch you once he finds someone he likes more?”

 

It seemed it was the wrong thing to say; Taeyong’s expression darkened and Taeil didn’t remember a single time in the past during which Taeyong had given him such an icy stare.

 

“What if I say yes? What are you gonna do?” His voice had dropped an octave, and his eyes screamed for Taeil to challenge him.

 

“I didn’t me -I was just joking.” He rapidly said, fidgeting under Taeyong’s piercing gaze.

 

“I don’t find your joke funny at all.” Taeyong sighed, breaking his tough facade. “Just let Yuta be, okay? I promise we’ll schedule a date for them if Yuta shows even the slightest interest in dating. Good enough?” he offered.

 

Taeil wasn’t in the mood for bargaining, the whole conversation was _never_ a bargain.   But he also didn’t feel like being on the receiving end of his boyfriend’s annoyed expression any longer.

 

He tightened his lips and nodded.

 

“Sure, baby.”

 

{-}

 

“Happy anniversary!”

 

Taeil remained frozen at the door when Taeyong all but shoved a shiny, wrapped present into his face. Then, slowly, he broke into a wide grin, taking the pretty box and hugging his boyfriend.

 

“Thank you, Taeyong-ah.” Taeil laughed a bit when his boyfriend hugged him tightly and spun him around.

 

“Sorry it’s so sudden, but I’ve meaning to give you this for a while.” Taeyong pecked him, smiling shyly afterwards. “I know you’d rather wait until dinner to exchange presents but…” He trailed off, nudging Taeil to open his present.

 

Taeil just bit his lip, endeared at Taeyong’s cute antics. The box in his hands felt quite light and he shook it a bit, frowning when he couldn’t hear a thing moving inside. His gaze met Taeyong’s, who looked extremely pleased with himself.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Just open it already, I’m dying here.” Taeyong huffed.

 

Taeil just shook his head and carefully unwrapped the shiny red material. It looked so pretty, with the white bow in the middle. He had no doubt Taeyong had done it himself, seeing as his boyfriend was exceptionally good at crafts.

 

Once he unwrapped the whole little box, he opened it slowly to reveal to pieces of paper made of a shiny metal paper.

 

“No way,” Taeil widened his eyes, reading the title of the tickets. “Taeyong!” He said, turning his head back, grinning like crazy. “I thought they were all sold out!”

 

Taeyong smirked, nodding.

 

“I may have a contact or two inside Seoul’s National Theatre…” he trailed off, getting close to Taeil. “So, what do you think?”

 

“You have really outdone yourself,” Taeil hugged his boyfriend tightly, nose pressed to Taeyong’s collarbones, inhaling the perfume from his clothes. “This is the best gift ever.”

 

Taeil beamed when he listened to Taeyong’s happy laughter.

 

“You’re welcome, baby. I know how badly you wanted to see this play.” Taeyong patted Taeil’s head softly, before encircling him by the waist with his arms. He let out a surprised yelp when he felt Taeil pushing him away.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“My present sucks in comparison, now I feel bad.”

 

Taeyong chuckled and kissed his boyfriend’s pout away.

 

“You know I don’t really care about presents and all that, just being with you is enough.” He finished, while making kissy faces at Taeil.

 

Taeil just whacked him on the face with the box and let out a relieved laugh. Taeyong and he had gone back to how they were before Yuta happened. He ought to overthink everything a little less. Taeyong loved him just the same as before, and Taeil did it too.

 

They were okay.

 

They were more than okay.

 

Or so he thought.

 

After a lovely evening at Seoul’s National Theatre, during which Taeil couldn’t stop himself from shedding a tear or two after such a magnificent show, Taeyong and Taeil were deciding what to do. Or more like Taeyong was trying to decide what to do, since Taeil was ready to go back home and get out of his suit.

 

“Come on, baby. Let’s go eat somewhere since we are wearing these fancy ass suits, right? Let’s make the most out of them,” Taeyong offered, hand intertwined with Taeil’s.

 

“It’s alright, Taeyong. We can always go home and order something. I really want to go home.”

 

“Wouldn’t it be more romantic if we go to a restaurant? Come on, Taeil. The night is still young, let’s eat out at least tonight.” Taeyong insisted, trying to tug Taeil’s hand.

 

Taeil bit his lower lip, stopping on his track.

 

“What is with you, Taeyong? Why the sudden urge to do something?” he questioned softly, truly intrigued.

 

Taeyong and he weren’t a couple who went out a lot; both of them prefered to stay comfortably in their own flat, watching movies or playing game boards. They rarely had meals outside or went to events. Of course, on special occasions they did go out, just like that night. They would usually go to the theatre to watch a play since both of them enjoyed it. But right after the show ended they would go straight home and cook something or just buy some food on the way.

 

Johnny, for that sole reason, had dubbed them the “boring couple,” and while Taeyong always laughed at that, it bothered Taeil a bit. It’s not like they were boring, they just prefered quite, calm places over crowded and noisy ones. He knew Johnny was only teasing them, but Taeil was a bit defensive of the things he enjoyed.

 

“We can do something for a change, right? I mean, do something different. Just for today at least. “ Taeyong tried to pull Taeil so he could start walking alongside him once again. “Since we never do anything, you know, fun.”

 

Taeil furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“Fun? I’m sorry but I have to disagree. I think the play we just watched was pretty ‘fun’”, he answered, making air-quotes just to get his point across.

 

“Alright, okay, it _was_ fun. But going to a fancy place and having dinner sounds even better, right? You know we don’t go often, let’s make the most of the night!”

 

“Taeyong, it’s getting late and I’m really tired, please let us just go home already.” Taeil flinched when Taeyong let go of his hand with a groan.

 

“Come on, Taeil. Tomorrow’s Sunday, we can sleep late. Let’s enjoy the night a bit more, alright?”

 

“Why are you being like this?” Taeil suddenly asked, upset. He really was tired and wanted to head back home. Also, this wasn’t something he was used to. They had never done anything like this, and Taeil was sure as hell not going to start now.

 

“No Taeil, why are _you_ being like this? Come on, I’m not asking for too much, am I?”

 

Taeil eyed the empty street they were standing in. He sensed an upcoming argument and he didn’t feel like fighting with Taeyong in a public place.

 

“Taeyong please keep your voice down and let’s just go home, okay? I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you know I don’t really like going out. Please don’t make me go somewhere I know I’ll feel uncomfortable,” he whispered, voice low, withpleading eyes.

 

Taeyong just stood there, watching him, as if he were really seeing Taeil for the first time. He kept on observing him for a couple seconds more, silently. His gaze felt hot and Taeil felt like closing his eyes and curling into a ball. He felt like he was disappointing Taeyong, that all he had been doing lately was exactly that; disappointing him.

 

It wasn’t his fault, and Taeil was conscious of that. Taeyong knew what kind of person he was, what he liked and disliked, so asking him all of a sudden to step out of his shell seemed, well, _mean_.

 

When did Taeyong change so much? Taeil couldn’t control his thoughts from going towards _him._

 

Yuta.

 

Since Yuta had appeared in Taeyong’s life all he did was-

 

“Alright, sorry I even asked. Let’s go.” Taeyong didn’t wait for an answer and started walking away from Taeil, resuming their previous path.

 

Taeil just stood there, with his heart on his throat. _Why?_

Why couldn’t they go back to how they were before? It seemed that whenever Taeil tried to patch things up, to narrow the distance that had grown between Taeyong and him, he only widened the gap.

 

It was like there was no right answer. And he hated it, it scared him. This wasn’t his Taeyong, not his boyfriend at least. He had certainly changed, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, and Taeil knew that.

 

It’s just... Taeil couldn’t keep up.

 

The walk back home was silent, and although Taeyong didn’t look mad per se, he didn’t try to talk to Taeil. Once in their flat he went straight to the bathroom and didn’t come out until Taeil was already in bed.

 

Taeil nervously eyed his boyfriend when he climbed into bed with him.

 

“Taeyong, I’m sorry about today.”

 

His boyfriend just nodded and gave him a quick look.

 

“ _I’m_ sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you like that.” Taeyong sighed, and Taeil’s heart shrank at  how defeated his boyfriend sounded. “ I just wanted us to do something new. I don’t know what I was expecting, “Tayong’s finger caressed Taeil’s cheek rapidly, “I know how you are. It’s fine.” Although there was _nothing_ fine with Taeyong’s sad smile.

 

_I don’t know what I was expecting, I know how you are._

Taeil was sure Taeyong didn’t mean those words in a bad way, but still, they rubbed him the wrong way. Since when had Taeyong expected something else from him that wasn’t, well, him?

 

Even in the morning, when Taeyong woke him up with breakfast in bed as an apology for what had happened, Taeil felt uneasy.

 

It scared him, because even if Taeyong apologized again and again for what he had said or done, the fact that in the moment he had meant every word he said remained. Taeyong wasn’t someone who said things in the heat of the moment just because. Even when mad, he had always measured his words.

 

Taeyong’s patience was wearing thin, and Taeil didn’t know how to stop it.

 

{-}

 

 

When Taeyong mentioned that Yuta wanted to go on a trip to the mountains to relieve stress and to celebrate the end of exams, Taeil immediately felt uneasy. He trusted Taeyong but no matter how hard Taeyong talked up everything good about Yuta, the Japanese male gave off...dangerous vibes. He was way too close to Taeyong; he was too friendly, too kind.

 

In short, Taeil didn’t trust Nakamoto Yuta at all.

 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, you aren’t the most nature friendly person,” he tried to convince his boyfriend.

 

Deep inside him, Taeil knew that he had little to no power regarding Taeyong’s choices. But a healthy relationship involved, not asking for permission per se, but discussing certain decisions together. Taeil was grateful that Taeyong at least recognized that going alone on a trip with another man was something worth discussing together.

“Maybe, but isn’t it nice to try new things? Who knows, I might end up liking it. It’s been awhile since I last went camping or something. Since I was a child. Perhaps I’ll change my mind.” Taeyong grinned, clearly excited

 

Taeil racked his brains to come up with some sort of excuse, but to no avail. The battle had been already lost once Yuta was in the picture. Had Taeyong gone with another friend, Taeil was sure he would have been able to talk him out of the idea.

 

“How many days?” he asked with a sigh, shoulders dropping.

 

“Just for the weekend. We’ll leave on Friday and by Monday morning you’ll have me all to yourself again.” Taeyong winked at him, and really, it was so fucking unfair that such a simple action had Taeil’s insides turning upside down.

 

Taeil nodded, afraid to talk. He feared his voice would crack.

 

How come Taeyong acted like nothing had happened the other day? It wasn’t fair. Taeil was dying on the inside. Was he the only one who couldn’t stop thinking about their fight? He felt like he was walking on eggshells around Taeyong, afraid to upset him once again.

 

It wasn’t like Taeyong was treating him any differently, but he felt a certain line had been drawn since their fight. A line that it seemed Taeyong wasn’t about to cross any time soon, and Taeil himself was too much of a coward to bring up the sensitive subject. He was afraid of Taeyong’s response. However, it didn’t mean he liked how awkward their relationship had become.

 

Or was it only awkward for Taeil? It certainly didn’t seem like Taeyong found their current state awkward, what with all the kissing and kind words. He had converted back to the old Taeyong, but Taeil couldn’t ignore the fact that he sensed an edge to every word his boyfriend spoke.

 

Was Taeil crying over spilt milk? Because it surely felt that way to Taeyong.

 

{-}

 

Just as Taeyong had predicted, it had started to rain. If he weren’t having such a great time, he would be nagging.

 

They had arrived the day before at a little cabin complex Yuta often went to unwind. Actually, it seemed Yuta went more than often; the owner herself had been the one to greet them at the entrance when they arrived. She hugged Yuta, and Taeyong as well, all bright smile and wrinkling eyes.

 

She had invited them to her house to drink some tea, and there she had told Taeyong that she and Yuta were friends since the latter came at least four times a year. Yuta explained that when he had first arrived to Seoul, he had been so overwhelmed by the lack of nature around him that he had taken the first bus to head somewhere far from the concrete jungle. He had stumbled upon the little complex by pure luck.

 

The grouping of little cabins was in a quite strategic place, with a dense forest just beyond the buildings and within a 15-foot walk to the lake. Yuta had fallen in love with the place at first glance, and so whenever he wanted to relieve stress and hike he would pack lightly and visit the complex.

 

The owner had taken such a liking to the young boy who came frequently just to stay two nights and walk all over the place that she had offered Yuta a discount every time he visited. The only condition was that he had to drop by and drink tea with her upon his arrival. Yuta had accepted right away, not only for the sake of saving money but also because the owner was a charming lady who always had funny stories to share with him.

 

Taeyong had been impressed once again by how easy it was for Yuta to charm people. The lady treated Yuta as if he were her own son; although she had also treated Taeyong like a son the moment Yuta told her they were close friends.

 

And so, their first day had passed calmly. Since they had arrived quite late, after two cups of warm tea the two young men were ready to drop dead onto their beds. On their way back to their cabin, Yuta had promised Taeyong that he would take him for a walk the following day.

 

And now there they were, in the midst of their walk against Taeyong’s warnings about the weather.

  

Yuta’s bright laugh resonated through the woods when he felt the first drops caressing his cheeks. He turned around to look at Taeyong who was smiling smugly.

 

“Told you s-” His response was interrupted when the other male grabbed him by the hand and pulled him away from the branch he was standing on.

 

“Shut up and let’s go!” Yuta shouted, still clutching Taeyong’s hand as the drizzles that had started to fall from the dark grey clouds rapidly transformed into heavy rain.

 

Just like the broadcast had predicted, Taeyong thought.

 

Yuta was guiding them through a cut (or so Yuta said) to get faster to the cabin, and Taeyong would be grateful if not for the fact that so-called short-cut was immensly slippery and the amount of mud that was beginning to form in such a tree-free zone was by far more than what Taeyong’s slight mysophobia could take.

 

Weirdly enough, he didn’t feel grossed out despite his once pristine clothes becoming more brownish by the second. All his focus was on the warmth that radiated from Yuta’s hands, just as wet as his.

 

Taeyong’s hair had begun to stick to his forehead and he could barely see, but amid the heavy rain and the uncomfortable situation, he found himself laughing out loud at how silly and ridiculous the whole situation was.

 

Yuta then began laughing as well. Maybe for the same reason as he was, or maybe because he thought Taeyong’s laugh was contagious. Or maybe just because Yuta was like _that_. Somebody to whom laughter came easily.

 

By the time they reached the cabin, the pair were each soaked to the bone and breathless. Once they entered, Taeyong notice that Yuta hadn’t let go of his hand, and with their fingers still interlaced Yuta began dragging him towards their room.

 

“Come on, let’s get some towels to dry ourselves before we catch a cold. Taeil won’t let me take you out again if you get sick.”

 

Yuta came to a jolting halt when Taeyong stopped right at the frame of the opened door. He looked back and shifted his eyes towards where his hand was joined with Taeyong’s.

 

He quickly let go and blushed lightly, embarrassment evident in his expression.

 

“S-sorry,” Yuta hurriedly apologized and entered the room. Taeyong couldn’t help but smile affectionately at how cute a flustered Yuta was. He entered the room too, immediately taking one of the towels Yuta had been placing on top of his bed.

 

Yuta stopped reaching to get more towels when suddenly his vision darkened. He felt Taeyong’s hand softly rubbing his head through the fluffy material of a towel, and his heart stuttered.

 

“Dry well, I know you are manly and all, but even manly men get sick.” Taeyong was smiling fondly at him after he moved the towel from his gaze, affection lacing in his tone.

 

Yuta just smiled back, enjoying being taken care of. Taeyong then started to ruffle his hair, squeezing it between the material to remove the excess of water. He knew a towel wouldn’t be enough, so he mentally patted himself on the back for remembering to bring a hair dryer with him. When he deemed his hair good enough, he encircled Yuta’s neck with the towel.

 

Taeyong’s breath sped up a little when Yuta let out a contented sigh once he started rubbing the towel all over the back of his head.

 

Unintentionally, he stepped closer and slowed down his movements, softly dragging the towel up all of Yuta’s neck before moving on to his face. He stroked the towel carefully over Yuta’s delicate features, first pressing the soft material to his eyebrows and then moving down to Yuta’s cheeks, to his chin and to his lips.

 

Yuta’s face was so unreal, he thought. His big eyes and his plump mouth, his prominent jawline and his high cheekbones. It was really a mesmerizing face.

 

His breath got caught in his throat when he noticed Yuta’s gaze locked on his. He looked so _vulnerable_ like this, all wet and pliant under Taeyong’s touch, so different from his usual confident self.

 

He hadn’t noticed before but at some point Yuta had grabbed his wrists to grab his attention. He had stopped moving, towel in hand still hovering over Yuta’s lips. He then stepped back a little, clearing his throat.

 

“A-all done,” he announced a bit awkwardly. Yuta just nodded, eyes never leaving his. He took the towel out of Taeyong’s hands and started drying him as well.

 

It was quite a useless action, seeing as the towel was all soaked, but Taeyong didn’t say a word, enjoying Yuta’s ministration.

 

When he started drying up his face, Yuta realised it was useless since the towel wasn’t actually doing a very good job of drying Taeyong’s face. He chuckled softly and Taeyong couldn’t help but let out a short laugh as well.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise the towel was all wet.” He opted for discarding the wet towel on the floor nonchalantly and moved towards the pile of clean and dry towels he had gathered on the bed.

 

“You better pick that up later,” Taeyong nagged when Yuta came back with a lavender towel in his hands. He only rolled his eyes in faux frustration.

 

“Sure, Mom.” He smiled again, crinkling his eyes.

 

Yuta let out a soft yelp when all of a sudden Taeyong drew him in by the waist.

 

“Come on, dry me up before you have to take care of me for falling sick.” Yuta snickered but complied anyways.

 

Soon after, he started drying softly Taeyong’s face, collecting the droplets of water with the towel. Yuta’s cheeks started heating up when he realised Taeyong hadn’t let go of his waist. His hands trembled a little when he moved the towel down his jaw, taking his sweet time to stroke the cloth all over the sharp edges of his face.

 

He stiffened when he felt Taeyong’s fingers starting to draw patterns above his soaked shirt. The contrast between Taeyong’s already warm fingers and his cold skin made him shiver.

 

Taeyong opened his eyes when he felt Yuta tremble in his arms. Again, Yuta was watching him intently, his gaze fixed on his face, hand still stroking his jaw with the towel.

 

Taeyong let out a shaky breath.

 

 _Fuck_.

 

He fixed his eyes on Yuta’s parted lips, and fuck, Taeyong thought he must have gone crazy, because against all odds, he was pulling Yuta closer to him.

 

_What are you doing?_

 

The lavender towel accompanied the soaked one on the rapidly growing wet floor when Yuta grabbed at Taeyong’s shoulders for support, having lost his balance.

 

 _He has a boyfriend, he has a boyfriend, he has boyfriend,_ Yuta repeated like a mantra in his head. Because really, the moment he realised he liked Taeyong, Taeyong who was already dating someone, he felt like he was flirting with his luck on the edge of an abysm. But being honest to himself in this moment, Yuta arrived at the conclusion that he didn’t care at all that Taeyong had a boyfriend. He barely recognized himself, but Yuta just wanted to let himself fall over and into the feelings he had been harboring for so long. He was sick of this.

 

Sick of Taeyong’s misleading comments, sick of Taeyong’s warm smiles and even warmer hands, sick of Taeyong’s gleaming eyes and Taeyong’s alluring voice.

 

_Sick of Taeyong’s boyfriend._

 

If Taeyong wanted him, then Yuta had no complaints. He didn’t care anymore, he wanted him. God, Yuta wanted Taeyong so badly. The tension in the atmosphere was thick, so thick that it gave Yuta hope.

 

Taeyong wasn’t retreating, but Yuta could see hesitation swirling in his eyes.

 

_No._

 

Yuta leaned in, close enough to feel Taeyong’s irregular breathing fanning all over his face. Despite longing for Taeyong more than anything else, he still wanted him to decide. If Taeyong pushed him away, then he would laugh it off, claiming it was some sort of prank.

 

Only Taeyong didn’t push him away.

 

Yuta’s eyelids close the moment Taeyong leaned in and closed the distance between them with a light peck.

 

Taeyong pulled back and basked in Yuta’s expression of utter submission, with his eyes still closed and his shivering lips parted. He looked so small in his still wet clothes, arms laced around his shoulders. He looked so vulnerable.

 

 _Fuck it,_ he thought.

 

He dug his fingers into Yuta’s waist harder and kissed him again. Yuta hummed, angling his face and moving his lips to accommodate Taeyong’s mouth on his own. At first the contact was slow, lips against lips moving languidly, enjoying the contact that both of them had dreamt of for a while, even while denying it to themselves.

 

_I want him, fuck, I want him so badly._

 

Taeyong started walking without detaching his mouth from Yuta’s, clumsily moving forward until Yuta’s back hit the wall. He yelped, surprised, and grabbed Taeyong by the back of his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.

 

Their clothes were still wet, but Yuta felt ready to explode. The sensual movement of Taeyong’s lips against his was enough to ignite sparks all over his skin. He no longer cared whether the goosebumps blooming all over his skin were from the cold or from Taeyong’s impossibly sweltering touch.

 

When Taeyong licked insistently at his mouth, Yuta parted his lips, welcoming the other’s tongue. He met him halfway and both groaned at the contact. Taeyong didn’t waste a minute and licked all over Yuta’s mouth, his perfect row of teeth, the roof of his mouth and the insides of his cheeks.

 

Yuta was melting and he was glad Taeyong was pressing him so hard against the wall because his knees were shaking and he wasn’t sure if he would have been able to hold himself up. When Taeyong sucked hard at his tongue, he sighed shakily and began rubbing his hips against him. Taeyong groaned and rolled his hips back, grabbing him by the back of his thighs. Yuta rapidly got the message and encircled Taeyong’s waist with his legs, his hands supporting his weight against the wall.

 

Taeyong sneaked his hands under Yuta’s soaked shirt and caressed his skin sensually. He was so turned on, he wasn’t sure he would be able to stop if they kept going. The small whiny noises Yuta made whenever Taeyong’s nails scratched lightly at his sensitive skin were driving the other mad.

 

All of a sudden, Yuta grabbed the back of his hair and yanked hard, successfully pulling Taeyong’s head back. Without waiting a second, Yuta then attached his lips to his neck, biting softly and licking all over the heated skin. Taeyong’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, doing nothing to stop the guttural moan that escaped him when Yuta started mouthing at the skin behind his ear.

 

It felt so good, Yuta’s body trapped between his own and the wall. His hands touching him and Yuta’s lips pressed against his throat.  It was too much and not enough at the same time. He wanted him like crazy, it was scary. Taeyong didn’t really recall ever desiring somebody so damn much. He wanted to see all of Yuta, he wanted to touch all of him.

 

When Taeyong felt Yuta’s teeth sinking momentarily on the juncture between his neck and his shoulder, he immediately recognized the familiar heat coiling in his belly.

Alarmed, he removed Yuta’s lips from his skin and kissed his rapidly swelling lips chastely. Yuta was too fired up to accept something so slow, so he bit Taeyong’s lower lip, rolling it between his teeth sensually.

 

Taeyong cursed mentally.

 

“S-stop,” he said, freeing himself from Yuta’s intoxicating bite, gasping. He rested his forehead on Yuta’s and smiled at him. He grinned right back at him, cheeks tinted a healthy red.

 

Slowly, Taeyong detangled Yuta’s legs from his waist and carefully set him down on the floor again.

 

Yuta bit his lips, concern taking all over his features when Taeyong didn’t say anything else and just stared at him.

 

“A-anything wrong?” he stuttered uncharacteristically. His heart was thundering inside his ribcage, pumping violently.

 

Suddenly, he was scared.

 

What if Taeyong didn’t want him? What if it was only a thing of the moment? What if…?

 

“I’m sorry.” Taeyong’s fingers felt soothing against his heated cheek when he stroked him gently, even as his words sent mixed signals. “I shouldn’t have kissed you like that.”

 

“Why? Do you regret it?” Yuta couldn't stop himself from snapping. “Then why did you kiss me?”

 

Taeyong panicked and rushed to reassure Yuta.

 

“No, no.” He smiled lightly and moved Yuta’s fringe out of the way, “I don’t. I just, I’m putting you in an uncomfortable situation.” He confessed. “Since I have a b-”

 

Yuta silenced him with a quick peck.

 

“It’s alright, I don’t mind.” Before Taeyong could open his mouth to talk he added, “I like you, Lee Taeyong. Nothing else matters to me right now. You like me, too, right?”

 

Taeyong bit his lip and averted his eyes. Yuta knitted his brow, confused.

 

“I wouldn’t have kissed you if that weren’t the case.” Taeyong then answered with a sigh, eyes still not meeting Yuta’s.

 

Yuta just smiled relieved. Taeyong was having second thoughts. Okay, he could work with that, after all, boyfriend or not, Taeyong did like him back. It was just a matter of making Taeyong forget about Taeil, then. Yuta wasn’t dumb, he hadn’t expected Taeyong to just jump into his arms after sharing a kiss. It was a start, however, and Yuta wasn’t going to let his opportunity slip away because Taeyong was trying to be a good person.

 

He brought Taeyong closer, whispering in a low voice, “Then we shouldn’t worry about anything else, alright? Let’s just enjoy ourselves, sounds good? Now, it’s just you and me. Just Taeyong and Yuta."

 

Taeyong finally met Yuta’s gaze, reluctance still clear in his eyes. He pondered for a bit before nodding. Yuta could see Taeyong was still hesitant, but that didn’t discourage him in the least. He promised himself he would do everything to erase all of Taeyong’s worries. He would do anything to make Taeyong forget about Taeil, at least for a couple days. He knew he was being selfish, but at that moment, he wanted Taeyong so badly he couldn’t find it in him to care about his boyfriend.

 

“Stop thinking, then.” Yuta smiled and grabbed Taeyong by the jaw before capturing his lips again.  He smiled again when he felt Taeyong slowly returning the kiss.

 

He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but Yuta was dead set on making Taeyong just think about him, think about _them._

Taeyong then carefully pushed Yuta away. The Japanese boy just looked at him, expectantly.

 

“Just…let’s forget everything outside of the woods, please? Let’s do as you said, it’ll be only you and me. Can we do that?”

 

Yuta grinned softly and caressed Taeyong’s head.

 

“Of course, Taeyong. We’ll do anything you want. From now on, just focus on me. On us."

 

“Just us.” Taeyong repeated while nodding, reassuring himself.

 

Just them.

 

Just Taeyong and Yuta.

 

 

{-}

 

When Taeyong woke up it was a still dark outside, and in the unlit room everything lost its shape except for the soundly sleeping body across his bed.

 

Yuta’s chest rose and fell slowly, his limbs tangled with Taeyong’s own. Last night, Yuta had sneaked into his bed, with the pretext of being too cold and that he needed body heat. Taeyong had indulged him, making space for him in the tiny bed. He smiled, biting lightly at his bottom lip, remembering how they had fallen asleep in the middle of their talk.

 

The still sleeping boy had acted so affectionate towards Taeyong that it had surprised him. While conversing, Yuta had played with Taeyong’s fingers, tangled their limbs, rested his head on his shoulder. His usually playful demeanor had vanished, leaving a rather shy Yuta behind. The change, no matter how odd, had been welcomed by a rather endeared Taeyong. Seeing such a soft side of his commonly upfront friend had made his heart flutter.

 

He tried to detangle himself from Yuta, carefully so as not to wake the other boy. Yuta only stirred a bit, accommodating himself better on the bed, grabbing the sheets and humming contently.

 

Taeyong grinned at his antics, and after dressing, he headed to the tiny kitchen of the cabin. He mentally patted himself on the head when he opened the fridge and saw all of the things he had made Yuta buy the day before. Gathering all of the ingredients in his arms, he moved across the room, opening the cabinets in search of the necessary cooking utensils.

 

While chopping the vegetables, he briefly recalled all the events from the previous night. He blushed, remembering just how good it had felt to kiss Yuta, how absolutely right the other boy felt beneath his fingers.

 

His breath hitched when he felt two arms sneaking their way around his waist.

 

“G’morning, sunshine,” Yuta breathed, while pressing a soft kiss on Taeyong’s nape.

 

Taeyong chuckled and shook his head, “You scared me.” He stopped what he was doing in favour of turning around and embracing Yuta by the neck. He smiled widely when he saw how happy the other looked.

 

“G’morning to you too,” he said right before bringing their foreheads together and kissing him quickly on the lips. Yuta giggled, feeling blissful.

 

When he had first woken up without Taeyong by his side, he had felt his stomach drop. He was scared of facing Taeyong after what had happened. Yuta had always been honest with himself, and although he knew Taeyong already had Taeil, the weight of not being able to act upon his feelings was killing him. He was somebody who wasn’t scared of pursuing what he wanted, so having to act wary around Taeyong to respect his relationship had been maddening.

 

Until yesterday.

 

He knew there was a big chance Taeyong would turn him down, not because he didn’t want him. He had felt just how much Taeyong wanted him as well, if the kisses they had shared was anything to go by. But it was more than that: Taeyong always had a gentle demeanor whenever he was with Yuta, and the way he stared at him always made him ache with hope.

 

No, he was sure Taeyong felt something for him. However, there was the Taeil factor. The fact that Taeyong had acted on his feelings was already surprising, seeing as he was the most gentle and caring soul ever. Cheating was a word Yuta was sure Taeyong didn’t even know.

 

He was aware Taeyong wasn’t going to be mean about it. If he was going to turn Yuta down, he would do so while blaming himself.

 

Gathering all of the courage he could, he had managed to get up from bed, slowly dressing himself and going to the kitchen where he had heard Taeyong moving around. His plan was just to talk to Taeyong, clear things between them. However, the moment he saw him standing in the kitchen cooking peacefully, he couldn’t help it. He walked towards him, careful not to make any sounds, and with trembling hands he had hugged the other from behind.

 

When Taeyong turned around and smiled at him, kissing him shortly after, Yuta felt ready to combust. _Of course,_ Taeyong wasn’t going to reject him.

 

No matter what, Taeyong too was somebody who had trouble hiding his feelings. And right now, as Yuta guessed, all he wanted was _him_. Yuta.

 

“Need some help?” He asked, peeking behind Taeyong to see the ingredients laid out on the counter.

 

“Don’t worry,” Taeyong caressed his neck before pressing his lips together once more. “Actually, I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in the bed, but you kind of ruined it.”

 

Yuta let out a chuckle, happy and bubbly sounds spilling from his lips.

 

“I’m sorry,” he replied, laughing at Taeyong’s sulking expression. “I’ll make it up to you,” he whispered, kissing Taeyong fully on the mouth. This time around, it wasn’t just a simple peck. Yuta moved his lips, slowly, coaxing Taeyong’s lips to follow him. Taeyong hummed, content, bringing his hands to Yuta’s neck and kissing him harder. He pulled him closer and tilted his head, deepening the friction between their mouths.

 

Yuta bit Taeyong’s lower lip and rested his hands on his waist, sneaking them underneath his shirt in order to caress his skin, from his ribs to his hips. Taeyong grunted and pulled at Yuta’s hair, making him gasp and taking advantage of the situation to lick inside of his mouth. He traced the shape of his teeth only to trap Yuta’s tongue between his lips and suck softly.

 

Yuta sighed deeply, feeling the familiar heat coiling in his stomach. He detached himself from Taeyong to take a big breath.

 

“We...should have breakfast first,” he managed to say, a little breathless. It was as if something in Taeyong clicked, because next thing Yuta knew he was flushing and nodding, quickly letting go of him.

 

“Right,” he conceded, scratching the back of his neck. “Guess I got a little carried away…” He gave Yuta a side glance and laughed a little, before turning his back and grabbing the knife again.

 

“I’ll go set the table,” Yuta offered.  Taeyong just turned around and nodded at him, a smile plastered on his handsome face, and all Yuta could think about was how fucking lucky he was.

 

{-}

 

After having breakfast and putting the dishes away, Taeyong and Yuta decided to take it easy, seeing as it had rained the day before and it was likely that all of the paths were full of mud. Yuta was a bit sulky that they couldn’t visit the lake near the woods, but Taeyong promised him they would go once the sun came out to dry things up.

 

Fortunately, the cabin had a TV so they settled down on the couch and looked for a film. They found a rom-com, and Yuta ran to the bedroom and grabbed a blanket, claiming that it was absolutely stupid and it went against the film-watching-rules to watch a film without one.

 

Sometime during the film, Taeyong had rested his head on Yuta’s shoulder and Yuta had searched timidly for Taeyong’s hand underneath the blanket. He gently caressed the hand before Taeyong grabbed his and intertwined their fingers.

 

And even if Yuta was always restless, unable to actually stop for a moment and admire the beauty that came with peace and stillness he recognised that being like this with Taeyong was incredible. Just the two of them, cuddling on the sofa and watching a film. He had never imagined he would actually enjoy acting so domestic with someone, considering how he disliked staying at home and lazing around. But again, he had never imagined he would encounter someone like Taeyong, who had presented Yuta with a whole new reality he didn’t know existed.

 

He squeezed his hand, kissing Taeyong’s head and sighing contently.

 

He could grow used to this, to _them_.

 

{-}

 

All things come to an end, Yuta thought bitterly when he noticed the guilty expression Taeyong made once he turned on his phone. Before the trip, they both had agreed to turn their phones off in order just to concentrate on relaxing. Of course, Taeil being the caring boyfriend he was, had sent Taeyong a message asking him if he was okay and saying how much he missed him.

 

It was a curious thing, the fact that Taeyong had almost forgotten he had a boyfriend. The whole weekend, the two of them had acted like a couple, holding hands when strolling down the lake, stealing kisses whenever the other was lost in thought, cuddling on the bed while talking about life.

 

And even if Yuta knew he should have felt guilty, he couldn’t find it in himself to actually care about Taeil. Taeyong deserved someone who understood him better, someone who didn’t restrain him but rather somebody who encouraged him to try new things. It had always amazed Yuta how much of a child Taeyong was when it came to experiencing unfamiliar settings. It made Yuta feel proud, to be the one to show Taeyong just how wonderful the world was.

 

He finished packing all of his things and told Taeyong to hurry before heading to Ten’s car. Taeyong shot him a quick look, unable to meet his eyes. Yuta sighed. The trip back home was bound to be quite uncomfortable, then.

 

Once they returned the key of their cabin to the owner of the establishment, they started they way back home.

 

Just as Yuta had predicted the atmosphere felt deeply awkward, even with the upbeat music blasting from the stereo. Although Yuta wanted to feel mad at Taeyong for the sudden change of personality, he couldn’t blame him. He guessed Taeyong felt absolutely guilty and didn’t know how to proceed. However, Taeyong was a grown man, and Yuta knew sooner or later he would have to face the consequences of his actions.

 

He wouldn’t force Taeyong to speak his mind right there, seeing as he looked on the verge of crying.

 

 _Later,_ he promised to himself. _Later we’ll talk about this._

 

{-}

 

Later came three days after they had last seen each other, much to Yuta’s dismay. Taeyong hadn’t even responded to his texts or phone calls. Yuta was quite frightened, if he were to be honest. At this point he didn’t even care whether he could have something romantic going on with Taeyong or not; the mere thought of losing him as a friend scared him shitless.

 

The sudden knock on his door pulled him out of his stream of rather negative thoughts. He had been lying on his couch, doing absolutely nothing else than wallowing in self-pity. His heart started beating frantically at the thought of encountering Taeyong. He knew it was Taeyong, because Ten and Jaehyun had spares keys to his flat and liked to enter the building as if it were their own house.

 

He ran his hand through his hair, trying to smooth it a bit before standing in front of the door.

 

“Who is it?” He asked just because.

 

_“Yuta, can we talk?”_

 

{-}

 

Yuta didn’t dare disrupt the silence that had fallen over them since he let Taeyong in. They were sitting in the dining room across from each other, saying nothing.

 

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong started, after what seemed like hours though only 5 minutes had in actuality passed. “I’m sorry I didn’t contact you earlier. I know you must be confused, but know that I had to come to terms with myself before I could talk to you.”

 

Yuta just nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. That much he had gathered.

 

“I…” He proceeded, taking a deep breath. “I love Taeil.” _Well shit._ “And I never meant to betray his trust like this.”

 

Yuta was starting to get irritated, if only for the fact that Taeyong was avoiding his eyes.

 

“But Yuta, I don’t regret that weekend with you.” Yuta stopped breathing for a second when Taeyong met his gaze, pupils still and intense. “I know it’s fucking selfish, but I really like you. I love spending time with you, and I love the way you make me feel.”

 

Yuta could feel his hands becoming clammy, and so he rubbed them against his jeans. It was so stupid to feel so nervous in front of Taeyong, especially when he was hearing the words he had been dying to hear since he realised his feelings towards Taeyong ran deeper than friendship.

 

“I know you like me too, and believe me, nothing makes me happier. To think that someone as bright and full of life like you would feel interested in someone like me.” Taeyong’s bitter chuckle had Yuta biting the flesh of his lower lip.

 

“Yuta,” he continued. “No matter how much I like you, I still have a boyfriend and nothing’s gonna change that fact. I’m not ready nor willing to leave Taeil, but I don’t want to lose you as a friend either.” Taeyong paused, trying to read Yuta’s expressionless face. “So, friends? I know it’s going to be hard to forget what happened, but I’m willing to give it a try if that means I’ll still have you in my life.”

 

There, he had said it.

 

On the other side of the table, Yuta looked nothing short of amused, a tiny smirk dancing on his lips. Taeyong had trouble interpreting his reaction.

 

“Are you stupid?” Yuta let out a chuckle. “Taeyong, I know that you’re quite naive, but I didn’t expect you to be this stupid.”

 

Taeyong widened his eyes at the unexpected answer.

 

“Taeyong,“ he sighed, “I really like you, and I don’t want to be just your friend. Not now that I know what it feels like having you all by myself. I really, _really_ , like you. But if you are offering me just your friendship after what happened between us, then you can shove your stupid request up your ass.”

 

“Yuta, I do-”

 

“No, shut up.” As he said it, Yuta felt his patience wearing thin. Granted, Yuta hadn’t exactly known what to expect from Taeyong, but _this_ was really something he wasn’t ready for.

 

Taeyong clenched his teeth when Yuta’s chair scraped against the floor. He found himself looking at a compelling pair of brown eyes, shining with something he couldn’t identify.

 

“Taeyong, look at me and tell me you don’t want to be with me. Look me in the eyes and tell me that my friendship is enough for you,” Yuta dared him, caging him in the seat. Never one to restrain himself, he threw caution to the wind as he decided to go after what he wanted.

 

Taeyong’s throat felt impossibly dry, and even though he tried to look anywhere but at Yuta’s eyes, he couldn’t avert his gaze.

 

“I…” He began, aware that the words he wanted to spill were not going to be said anytime soon. And fuck. Yuta was being so fucking selfish, standing there in front of him, looking absolutely good and boyish in basketball shorts and a sleeveless shirt.

 

His breath hitched when Yuta’s slender fingers grabbed him forcefully by the jaw.

 

“Say it,” he repeated, angling Taeyong’s face towards him. He smirked when he saw Taeyong swallow, Adam’s apple bobbing in the process. “See? You can’t. And let me tell you why.” Taeyong closed his eyes when he saw Yuta closing the space between them.

 

 _“Because you want me, Taeyong.”_ Yuta’s lips caressed his ear, breath hot. “And,” he continued, motioning Taeyong to get up from his seat.

 

“I want you, too.” Taeyong’s whole body shivered when Yuta pressed his wet mouth against his.

 

This certainly wasn’t the outcome Taeyong had been waiting for. _Yes_ , he wanted Yuta, _no_ , he didn’t want just to be friends with him. However, he had looked for the least selfish solution. He wasn’t ready to leave Taeil, no matter how disjointed their relationship was becoming. But at the same time, the mere thought of being with Yuta left him breathless. Just what could he do?

 

“I don’t care what’s outside of my apartment..” Yuta said, grabbing Taeyong by the waist, pulling him closer, till they were chest to chest. “Right now, right here, it’s you and me” He whispered, sneaking his hands under Taeyong’s shirt, caressing his sides.

 

And Taeyong did as told.

 

He framed Yuta’s face with his hands and smashed their lips together. Yuta chuckled, amused by Taeyong’s reaction and parted Taeyong’s lips with his tongue, licking into his mouth sensually. Taeyong kissed him insistently, almost desperately, trying to pull Yuta closer and closer. Yuta’s hand never stopped wandering all over Taeyong’s back and hips, feeling the smoothness of his fair skin.

 

He detached himself from Taeyong’s lips and immediately placed a kiss on his jaw, moving towards his neck, leaving a wet trail behind. His fingers were ghosting over his jeans, nails softly scratching just below his navel. And, God, Taeyong felt utterly aroused by the action.

 

Yuta moved away, only to grab the hem of Taeyong’s shirt. He looked at him, silently asking if that was okay.

 

Taeyong bit his lip, chest heaving. _Was it okay?_ He wasn’t dumb, he knew what would happen the moment he nodded. Yuta was just staring at him, expectant.

 

He nodded, slowly. Decision made. He raised his arms, allowing Yuta to remove his shirt.

 

The way Yuta was looking at him made him feel powerful. His eyes were blown and the way he seemed so entranced whilst ghosting his fingers all over the expanse of Taeyong’s abdomen had him biting back a moan. It was the first time somebody had looked at him like that, and God, he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel his cock engorged just by it.

 

“You’re so gorgeous, Taeyong. I don’t think you know just how much I want you.”

 

Before he could even reply, Yuta’s mouth was on his once again, kissing him long and deep. His fingers were roaming aimlessly all over Taeyong’s back, and Taeyong too, felt brave enough to touch Yuta.

 

Yuta moved away slightly once again, allowing Taeyong to undress him as well, his fingers curiously touching him for the first time, tender and lovingly. He remained there, still, letting Taeyong take in the sight of his naked torso, letting him gather his thoughts.

 

For a moment, the two of them just stood there, looking at each other silently. The flickering of the light was the only sound that disrupted the silent atmosphere. Yuta was afraid that if he breathed too loud, Taeyong might get scared.

 

However, to his utmost surprise, it was Taeyong who took a step closer, intertwining his fingers with Yuta’s and tugging him towards the other’s bedroom.

 

Taeyong knew he would never come to regret his decision, no matter the outcome. Because being with Yuta like this, so close he could feel his heartbeat thrumming under his fingertips, felt absolutely _right_.

 

{-}

 

The chilly breeze from Seoul’s night did little to help Taeyong’s racing thoughts. He was sitting on one of the endless benches that sat right in front of the Han River. He bitterly noted that it was the one he and Yuta had used back then when they had ditched Ten’s party. Ironic.

 

He tried to organise his thoughts to no avail after leaving Yuta’s apartment later that night. He could barely believe what he was going through. Before Yuta, Taeil had been everything to him. He had never imagined himself being with someone who wasn’t him. Afterall, Taeil had been _the_ one from the very beginning, his rock, the one he had opened his heart to. Taeil was the person who led his hand through the unknown, the person who made him feel things he never knew he was capable of feeling.

 

But now all of that seemed so distant. Taeyong couldn’t ignore the way in which he had been clashing with his boyfriend more often than not. It was silly, how somebody like Yuta had showed him how flawed his boyfriend was. He already knew Taeil wasn’t the saint Taeyong imagined him to be, but still he accepted him with all of quirks. But when presented with new possibilities, better possibilities, the breach between Taeyong and Taeil had begun to widen.

 

Taeyong had always been a curious soul, but a bit of a cowardly one at that and in constant need of somebody who would accompany him through everything he didn’t know. Taeil couldn’t provide him with that, as Taeil himself was a rather shy and calm person who had little interest in going out of his comfort zone. Taeyong had come to accept him and love him regardless. He had been resigned to let all of his childish curiosity died as a concession to the love he had felt.

 

However, when Yuta came into the picture, his childish excitement had resurfaced in such a way that let Taeyong breathless. Yuta was everything he wanted to be, someone fearless with an endless love for life, someone who would rather squeeze the last drop out of his days than to sit down and enjoy the passing time.

 

Yuta was everything he had been looking for all along, only without realising it. The boy was not without flaws, Taeyong very much knew that. But his flaws were nothing that would stop Taeyong from carrying on with the life he wanted. Not the life that he settled into out of convenience.

 

Taeyong sighed and looked above, as if searching for answers in the black sky. He knew better than anyone that two-timing was the lowest thing ever. God, he had never imagined that he, out of all people, would do something like that. He felt absolutely guilty, but was it really his fault? He couldn’t help but wonder that. Was it that bad to fall for someone? If he could fall in love with someone other than Taeil, didn’t that mean his feelings towards Yuta were stonger? He wouldn’t have fell for him in the first place if he had loved Taeil wholeheartedly.

 

Falling for Yuta wasn’t a mistake, and being with Taeil wasn’t one either. Timing was the one at fault, he believed. Was he ready to let go of everything he knew, everything that had helped him become the man he was now, just to to grab the hand of somebody unpredictable towards a future that was barely visible?

 

He knew the answers to all of his questions wouldn’t come to him at that moment. His head was hurting and he felt exhausted.

 

He only hoped they would come fast. Fast enough to put an end to the very same misery Taeyong had put Taeil and Yuta through.

 

{-}

 

Contrary to what Taeyong might have believed, he wasn’t subtle. It intrigued Taeil, in the same way it hurt him, the fact that Taeyong thought he wasn’t being obvious.

 

He had seen it coming, of course. The worst kind of relief washed over him when he acknowledge that, indeed, there was something going on between Taeyong and Yuta. His fears weren’t baseless; the insecurities that had started to grow within him the moment he witnessed Yuta and Taeyong’s interactions, and that had been in full bloom for a while now, weren’t in vain. Somehow, amid all the anguish and pain, he was relieved he wasn’t turning into the kind of boyfriend who doubted his lover for even the slightest thing.

 

He was right to doubt Taeyong, no matter how fucking twisted it sounded. It wasn’t Taeil just being delusional; it wasn’t him being controlling or possessive.

 

Taeyong’s eyes lit up instantly the moment his phone buzzed, Yuta’s message on his phone screen waiting for him. His voice softened whenever he talked to Yuta on the phone, his laughter coming through every one or two minutes.

 

He made an effort to dress himself up whenever he went to meet up with him, and Taeil wouldn’t have minded it a bit; what his boyfriend wore had nothing to do with him. If not for the fact that Taeyong never made an effort to dress up. Only when they went out on dates or they visited Taeil’s parent’s house.

 

The worse part had to be that Taeyong seemed unaware of all these little changes in him. He was falling for Yuta and he didn’t even know it. And Taeil, with his heart crushed between his palms, had been there through to witness every step of it.

 

Everything changed after the trip, during which Taeil was sure something had happened. Taeyong had been quite closed off once he had returned; he seemed lost in thought and unable to look Taeil in the eyes.

 

Hi heart clenched painfully every time Taeyong looked the other way, guilt written all over his face. His boyfriend had never been good at concealing his emotions, his face like a crystal clean window that showed all of his internal turmoil. To a lot people, Taeyong might have seemed stoic with features carved into marble but Taeil knew better.

 

What hurt the most, though, was that Taeil was aware of Taeyong’s distress. He could read it in his face. He could see how lost and anxious he looked. Despite everything that had happened, Taeil could never antagonize Taeyong. He knew him, he knew his heart, he knew him better than _anyone._

 

Taeil would have loved for Taeyong to open up to him, to be honest with him. Because deep down, he was sure that Taeyong was just confused.

 

Yuta was quite a character, and that much Taeil could understand. He was everything Taeil wasn’t, personality wise and looks wise. Even if their auras were incompatible with one another, he understood why Yuta attracted people like a magnet. His alluring eyes and his smiles that promised only good times. He had always disliked people like Yuta, because they never fully took responsibility for their actions. People like them were just children pretending to be adults, playing life around like toddlers in a sandbox.

 

Of course he didn’t blame Yuta for everything. Taeyong was at fault too.

 

Only, it seemed easier and less painful to believe that Taeyong hadn’t willingly betrayed Taeil like that. It seemed easier to antagonize Yuta, because before him, everything had been fucking _fantastic._

 

Yuta was a momentary blip in the path Taeil could envision next to Taeyong. And if Taeyong refused to look beyond the film of short-lived fun Yuta had so solidly wrapped up around him, it was up to Taeil to make things right.

 

{-}

 

Taeil was already sitting on one of the furthest tables of the café when Yuta spotted him. Resolved, he approached him, quietly sitting down on the opposite chair.

 

The red-head studied Yuta for a brief moment and the other held his gaze, fiercely. It looked like neither of them was going to hold back.

 

“I guess you know why I called you here.”

 

Taeil was used to seeing a Yuta with unrestrained smiles and laughter, eyes glinting joyfully and mouth ranting the most idiotic shit he had ever heard; so seeing him now, so serious and relentless, made him feel uneasy.

 

“Contrary to your beliefs, I’m not stupid.”

 

Taeil snorted, amused.

 

“My beliefs were proven correct the moment you decided fucking my boyfriend was okay.”

 

Yuta smirked, entertained at Taeil’s sudden provocation.

 

“You think so? I’d say I’m pretty smart. Wouldn’t you agree? Sleeping with Taeyong is never wrong, you would know that.”

 

“Stop it. Stop seeing Taeyong. You don’t have a right to be with him, for God’s sake, he is my boyfriend.” Taeil had told himself he would remain calm and that he wouldn’t succumb to his inner demons. But Yuta’s mocking smirk was proving to be a solid test.

 

Yuta sighed, tired. He hadn’t accepted Taeil’s request for meeting up to fight. He knew his position, he understood how wrong messing with someone who was already in a relationship was. He understood, he truly did. He tried to reign himself in.

 

“Listen, Taeil. I understand your feelings, and before you say anything, I do acknowledge that screwing with someone who has a boyfriend is the shittiest thing to do in the world. But it takes two to play this game.”

 

Taeil squinted his eyes and Yuta knew he had understood what he was trying to say.

 

“Taeil, I’ve come here to say that I’m sorry but I can’t let Taeyong go. You hold no power over our relationship, like it or not.”

 

“Like it or not? I think you are forgetting I’m his boyfriend and you’re just someone he is...sleeping with. You think he would choose you over me? You’re dreaming. Also, if you truly understand that you’re getting between our relationship, why don’t you stop?”

 

Taeil couldn’t grasp his head around this. Taeyong was his boyfriend, not Yuta’s. Why was he even arguing with him? Couldn’t Yuta just go away and leave them alone? He knew Taeyong was handsome, unreal even, but really. Yuta didn’t have to cling to him like this.

 

Yuta was good-looking and had an easygoing personality. He could have anyone. And still, he’d rather be with Taeyong who was in a relationship than with anyone else. Fucking unbelievable. Just how selfish Yuta was?

 

“I’m in love with Taeyong.”

 

Taei felt like a punch would have hurt less.

 

_Just what?_

 

“W-what?”

 

“I’m in love with Taeyong.” Yuta repeated again, slowly. “Taeil, I’m not just messing with him, I’m not with him because I hate you and I want to make your life miserable. I don’t want to let go of him because I love him.”

 

“You can’t fall in love with somebody else’s boyfriend. Is this some sort of joke?” the other asked with a tiny voice.

 

Taeil’s heart was beating so hard inside his ribcage he was afraid he would have a heart attack.

 

“Taeil, I’m sorry. You think I like it? You think I wanted this to happen? I didn’t. I didn’t choose to fall for Taeyong. Fuck.” Yuta let out a bitter chuckle, “You know how many times I wish this,“ he waved his hands between the two of them, “ wasn’t the way we met? How many times I wish I had known Taeyong first?”

 

Taeil just looked at him, expressionless.

 

“But you didn’t. I did.”

 

Yuta hadn’t felt the slightest bit sorry for Taeil the whole while, but now, hearing his shaking voice reach a breaking point, he wasn’t so sure about how he was feeling anymore.

 

“Why can’t you understand that I loved him first? That I love him even now, when he’s cheating on me and lying to me? Why can’t you just disappear from our lives? What do you want from Taeyong?” Taeil didn’t care that he sounded desperate. He _was_ desperate after all. His whole world was crumbling apart, and he just lay motionless, watching the whole deal, feeling powerless. Feeling scared, because no matter how hard the tried to deny it, he could recognise the way Taeyong looked at Yuta. It was the same way Taeyong had looked at him before everything went to shit. He could feel Tayong slipping away through his hands, just like sand. There were barely grains left on his fingers, and still, he tried to clutch at them, desperately.  

 

Yuta didn’t answer right away, he observed Taeil, as if looking for something on his face.

 

“If you had met Taeyong while being in a relationship with someone else, what would you have done?”

 

“What?”

 

“If you had met Taeyong while he was in a relationship with someone else, would you have approached him?”

 

Confusion was evident on Taeil’s features.

 

“I…” Taeil had never thought about it. Imagining Taeyong with some who wasn’t him had been a foreign concept until Yuta appeared. And even then, he couldn’t picture them the way he saw his relationship with Taeyong. “I don’t know,” he answered, breathless. “If he were in a happy relationship then-”

 

“Even if you knew he was the love of your life?” Yuta’s words weighed down on Taeil, and he felt his stomach twist uncomfortably.

 

“You can’t know th-”

 

“But what if you could, what if you felt he was destined to be your partner?” Yuta’s voice was borderline frantic. He was trying desperately to prove a point to Taeil, his eyes staring down at him, shimmering with something Taeil couldn’t quite place.

 

Did Yuta think Taeyong was the love of his life? Taeil knew how easy it was to fall for Taeyong’s unparalleled looks, and even easier to fall for his incredible personality. He didn’t blame Yuta, he _couldn’t._ After all, he understood him better than anyone.

 

He pondered Yuta’s question. Would he have been bold enough to pursue a taken man? Taeyong’s soft gaze and warm smile popped on his mind. What if he knew, that despite the risks, it would all be worth it in the end?

 

He shook his head, to clear his mind off. Yuta was trying to put him into his same position, but Taeil couldn’t relate. He wasn’t chasing after somebody impossible. He wasn’t chasing after Taeyong, because Taeyong was already his.

 

(Or at least had been.)

 

Furthermore, no matter how hard he loved the person in question, were this person to be in a relationship, Taeil knew he wouldn’t do a thing about it. No matter how much his heart bled and how much his eyes cried, his natural kindness and empathy wouldn’t let him. Besides, who was he to crush somebody else’s happiness in order to pursue his own selfish desires?

 

“I can’t know that, and, unlike you, I wouldn’t dare to do such a thing,” he declared.

 

“Even if it was Taeyong?”

 

“Even if it was him.”

 

Yuta smiled sadly at him, like he had been expecting that kind of answer.

 

“See, this is the difference between you and me. You’re a coward.”

 

“I don’t see how respecting a relationship makes me a coward.”

 

“Oh, but I do,“ Yuta made a slight paused, smiling tiredly. “I’m not scared to be happy. I’m not scared to pursue what makes me feel good, what brings me joy. I’m not afraid of life and neither of the consequences of my actions. I want to be happy, and if Taeyong makes me happy, I don’t care that he is in a relationship. I don’t mind all the judging glances, all the talk behind my back. In the end, it would all be worth it. Taeyong is worth it. You might not want to believe me, but my feelings for him are just as sincere as yours, if not even more so. You can think I’m selfish and unethical, that I take things lightly. The thing is, Taeil, I don’t care what you think. I’m in love with Taeyong and I want to be happy with him. And that’s up to him and me, not you.”

 

Yuta took a deep breath, in an effort to organise his thoughts. He hadn’t meant to rant like that, but he was honestly tired of all the emotional rollercoasters he had ridden over the last few days.

 

Taeil was silent for once, eyes carefully analysing Yuta’s features, as if this was the first time he was actually seeing him.

 

“I’m sorry, Taeil. I didn’t mean for this meeting to be like this. I just... I hate this arrangement as well, okay? I’m going to tell Taeyong that he can’t have us both. Whatever happens from that is up to him.”

 

“You honestly think Taeyong is going to chose you over me?” If Taeil meant to sound confident, he had failed terribly. His voice had come out small and shaky, and for a moment, Yuta pitied him. He looked so lost, his eyes begging the other to tell him otherwise. He recognised that tired look on his face as well, the poorly concealed dark bags under his eyes. He understood Taeil’s positions, more than anyone in fact. But he was a stubborn person too, and he wasn’t going to give Taeyong up just because he was caught off guard by Taeil’s big and pleading eyes.

 

He had nothing against Taeil, really. Taeil just happened to be Taeyong’s one and ugly flaw.

 

“I hope he does.”

 

{-}

 

Yuta was glad Taeyong had understood the implications behind the words _we need to talk._ Or so he hoped.

 

He had rehearsed in his mind the way in which he would approach Taeyong in regards to their...situation. The task at hand proved to be way harder than expected. Although he was aiming to talk things out with Taeyong face-to-face, he wanted to somehow make him understand that they were about to have _the_ talk. Yuta didn’t want Taeyong to arrive all clueless about what was about to unfold. He wanted him to be prepared as well but he didn’t want to sound too forward, too harsh. After all, he hoped to be with Taeyong when this whole mess they were in ended.

 

In the end, he had decided on a quick, painless but meaningful “we need to talk” text. Taeyong had sent back an “I’ll be over by tomorrow. I need to tell you something as well.”

 

At first, Yuta had freaked out. Those words never meant anything good, and, God, was Taeyong really going to give up Yuta for Taeil? He tried not to jump to rash conclusions, and he tried to tell himself that Taeyong wanted to talk because he had left Taeil.

 

It wasn’t an easy task, and those stupid words were the only thing Yuta could think about throughout the whole day.

 

He had to trust Taeyong, trust that he would do the right thing; choose Yuta. But, was it really the right choice? He pondered. But of course it was the right choice. Yuta had seen Taeyong with Taeil, how reserved he seemed, how caged he looked. It was a stark contrast to how Taeyong was with Yuta. Carefree, lively, _happy._

 

Yuta hated that Taeyong and he had met whilst Taeyong was somebody else’s. He hated that they had to hurt such a kind person like Taeil in the process. He hated it with a passion. But he didn’t care anymore, if Taeil were the only thing standing between him and what he felt was a love worth fighting for.

 

Love makes you selfish, he reflected as he lay on his bed. Because no matter how much he hated it, he wasn’t going to stop. If Taeil had to be heartbroken in order for Yuta to have his happy ending, then so be it. It was egoistical to think like that, but weren’t all humans a bit greedy? In Yuta’s eyes, Taeil was just as selfish as he was, seeing that he refused to give Taeyong the life he deserved.

 

Yuta’s heart went into overdrive when he heard the bell.

 

This was it.

 

He would either win it all or lose it all.

 

“Hey,” Taeyong greeted him with a small smile.

 

“Hey yourself,” he answered, grinning despite his internal turmoil.

 

Once Taeyong entered the apartment, he grabbed Yuta softly by the waist and kissed him shortly on the lips. Yuta just sighed, enjoying the fleeting contact, trying not to think about what the kiss meant. When Taeyong retreated back, Yuta chased him with his mouth and pecked him as well, earning a soft chuckle from the other boy.

 

After they broke apart, Yuta motioned Taeyong to sit down with him in the dining-room.

 

“So.”

 

“So.”

 

The two of them began at the same time, then laughed together at the unexpected synchronization.

 

Yuta started again but Taeyong held his hand out, signaling Yuta to let him talk first.

 

“I’ll go first, if that’s alright?”

 

Actually, Yuta wanted to talk first. He had already prepared a whole speech in his mind, and if he talked first he would be the one with upper hand in the conversation. Before he could even open his mouth to tell Taeyong so, his lover breathed out a little, “Please?”

 

Yuta frowned a little, not really wanting Taeyong to talk first. Maybe because they were getting to the point faster than he had expected, and it was starting to scare Yuta a little. Was he really ready to hear what Taeyong had to say?

 

Taeyong was looking at him expectantly, lower lip caught between his tiny teeth.

 

Yuta sighed, defeated. Better fast and painless than slow and painful, he thought bitterly.

 

“Go on.”

 

Taeyong took a deep breath and nodded, looking away for a second, as if putting himself together.

 

“I know…” he started. “I know I have been incredibly selfish with you and Taeil. I know I’ve put the both of you in a horrible situation, I know that I’ve hurt the both of you. Since this, “ Taeyong made a vague gesture with his hand, “all began, I haven’t done one thing right. And for that, I’m sorry, Yuta. I know what you meant with your text, I know that, no matter how many times you said you don’t care about me being in a relationship, you actually care. And it’s totally fair. You’ve been nothing but wonderful to me, Yuta. And you deserve better than being the second in a relationship.” Taeyong made a pause and grabbed Yuta’s hands, slowly intertwining their fingers together.

 

Oh no, Yuta thought, this wasn’t going to way he had planned.

 

“I know that you want me to decide, that you can no longer continue with this fucked up arrangement. And I couldn’t agree more. Again, I’m absolutely sorry about all the shit you two went through because of my horrible behaviour. I know words won’t do the trick, I know I can’t patch things up just by being remorseful and saying sorry.”

 

Taeyong looked at Yuta, eyes full of regret, hurt. And it was strange, because although Yuta knew how important it was for Taeyong to get things off of his chest first, he didn’t care about any of the things Taeyong had said in the last few minutes. Yuta didn’t even think Taeyong had to apologize to him. Maybe to Taeil, but definitely not to him, after all, he had been the one to insist, the one who had said he didn’t care about Taeyong having a boyfriend.

 

Yuta didn’t want Taeyong to apologize. Actually, he hated to see him so vulnerable and hurt. He just wanted to tell him that he would never judge him, that he knew Taeyong was an amazingly kind and altruist person. However, he decided against speaking his mind, seeing that Taeyong really needed to vomit his thoughts before he exploded.

 

Taeyong swallowed, exhaling a shaky breath after.

 

“But I promise I’m gonna start doing things by the book from now on.”

 

Yuta’s palm was getting increasingly sweaty, but Taeyong didn’t seem to care. His heart was thrumming against his ribcage and suddenly he panicked, afraid that he wouldn't be able to listen to Taeyong over the deafening sound of his heartbeats.

 

“I broke up with Taeil.”

 

Oh?

 

_Oh._

 

Taeyong smiled a little at seeing Yuta so speechless, his bright eyes open wide, his jaw slightly ajar.

 

“I broke up with Taeil, because I realised that I had fallen out of love with him,” Taeyong continued, biting his lip in order to stop himself from grinning upon recognizing the hopeful glint in Yuta’s eyes. “I wasn’t being fair to Taeil, and I couldn’t keep lying to him.”

 

“Instead,” Taeyong continued, flushing. “I realised that I…” He trailed off, biting his lip, suddenly feeling nervous. Why on earth was he feeling nervous all of a sudden? Taeyong internally cursed, feeling how dry his throat had become. Oh God, it had been so long since he has last confessed to someone; he felt like a teenager all over again.

 

He could feel the skin pulled over his cheeks warm, and he knew he was bit red.

 

Taeyong was pulled out of his nervous trace when Yuta squeezed his hand. He was smiling gently at him, ever so handsome and kind, with his eyes full of adoration.

 

“I’m in love with you.”

 

Taeyong felt the knot that was sitting in his chest since all this mess started, untied. He felt the weight leaving him through the air he exhaled past his lips, past his nose. He felt lighter.

 

“I’m in love with you, Yuta,” he repeated, smiling softly at the boy across him, the boy whom he loved with all of his heart, the boy who was currently trying to fight the giant grin from taking over his features.

 

“You’re such a sap, Lee Taeyong,” Yuta said, standing up and plopping down on Taeyong’s lap, who let out a soft “huff” at the sudden weight.

 

“You have no idea how much I’ve been waiting for you to say those words,” Yuta confessed, moving Taeyong’s fringe out of the way with delicate fingers. “I love you, too. God, I love you.” Yuta leaned forward at the same time Taeyong stretched his neck, meeting him halfway in a kiss.

 

Yuta couldn’t help but chuckling while kissing the life out of Taeyong. He was so unbelievably happy. Lee Taeyong was his, and only his.

 

This impossibly beautiful and kind boy underneath him, the one currently pressing soft kisses all over his face, the one who made his skin tingle, the one who made his heart shake like an earthquake, was Yuta’s.

 

Lee Taeyong was finally his.

 

{-}

 

_Taeil knew from the moment Taeyong called him to the living room, that this was it. He had been acting stranger than usual, more distant. He always looked lost in thought, and Taeil fucking hated that he knew what was going through his head._

 

_Who would it be? He wondered, heart beating painfully against his ribcage. Weirdly, and despite feeling anxious like mad, he also felt extremely calm. Taeyong was finally going to put the three of them out of their misery._

 

_“Taeyong,” he said, softly. “What is it?”_

 

_His boyfriend was sitting on the couch, rubbing his clothed knees, and his eyes were already looking a bit teary,_

 

_“Taeil,” Taeyong averted his gaze from where it was set in the rug and looked straight at Taeil. “I’ve been cheating on you, with Yuta.”_

 

_Taeil’s eyes widened when Taeyong’s voice broke at the end of the sentence, only to begun crying._

 

_“I’m-m so sorry, Taeil, you don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve you, I’m-” Taeyong hiccupped, and Taeil just stood there, shocked. Out all of his years as boyfriends, he had never seen Taeyong cry like this. He hadn’t expected him to be so straightforward, either._

 

_“I tried to stop, God, I fucking tried, I’ve never wanted to hurt you, but…” he trailed off, dazed. “I know I don’t deserve to even ask for forgiveness, I know I betrayed your trust, Taeil. Fuck, I hate myself for that, believe me.” He continued with tear-stained cheeks._

 

_Taeil seemed to wake up from his stupor and walked towards Taeyong, carefully embracing the shaking body of his lover._

 

_“I’m so sorry, so, so, sorry,” Taeyong kept on going, clutching desperately at Taeil’s shirt. “Please say something,” he begged, anxious when confronted with Taeil’s silence._

 

_“What do you want me to say?” Taeil replied, weariness dripping from his tone. “I kind of knew. You weren’t exactly subtle. I decided to let you confront me rather than the other way around. I’m glad you told me.”_

 

_Taeyong separated himself from Taeil._

 

_“You...knew? All along?”_

 

_Taeil bit his lip, slowly nodding._

 

_“I...you were a different person whenever Yuta was around, and the way your eyes sparkled every time you talked about him got my attention. I know you, Taeyong. I know your heart.”_

 

_Taeyong gazed at him, speechless. Taeil had always known?_

 

_“You’re so calm right now. I’d rather you scream at or hit me, to be honest,” the younger chuckled bitterly, dying his cheeks with the back of his palm._

 

_“I had my fair share of sleepless nights and tear-stained pillows. Yet, somehow I only feel relieved now. This means...this, telling me about you and Yuta, I mean. Does this mean you are ready to break things off with him?”_

 

_Taeil smiled softly at his boyfriend, only to frown when Taeyong didn’t meet his gaze._

 

_“I-I don’t think so, Taeil.”_

 

_“What do you mean?”_

 

_All right, this wasn’t going how Taeil had pictured it in his head. Now was the moment in which Taeyong promised to stop seeing Yuta, because he valued his relationship with Taeil more. Right?_

 

_Right?_

 

_“Taeil, I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way about you as I did before. I loved you. You were my first love, Taeil, and nothing will change that. But I won’t lie to you anymore.” Taeyong took a deep breath and lifted his gaze, resolution swimming in his eyes._

 

_“I’m breaking up with you.”_

 

_Taeil felt as if his ribs had been broken, the sharp ends of his bones stabbing into his heart painfully._

 

_“You’re one of the most important people in my life, and I can’t thank you enough for all that you’ve done for me. But we...want different things, and no matter how much I tried to convince myself that we would work out...We just won’t. And I know you’re also aware of this.”_

 

_“Taeyong, don’t do this, please,” Taeil breathed out, eyes swelling up with tears._

 

_“Taeil, I’ve changed. I don’t know if I’m a better person or not, but I’m different. And I know you have realised it as well, and that you want the old Taeyong back. I’m sorry I can’t be who you want me to, but I can’t keep up this farce anymore.”_

 

_“Taeyong, please, wait a mi-”_

 

_“I’m not in love with you anymore.”_

 

_What was that? Taeil thought, hearing how all the plates and porcelain cups of his kitchen fell down and crushed, splattering tiny pieces of ceramic everywhere._

 

_Oh._

 

_It wasn’t that._

 

_Was it his heart?_

 

_“You deserve better than staying in a relationship like this. It wouldn’t be fair to you, I know I haven’t been fair to you in a long time, but I want to make up for it. I’ve already made up my mind, and I’m really sorry, Taeil. You deserve so much better. I will never regret loving you, going out with you. You taught me so many things, you showed me so many new experiences. I will always be thankful.”_

 

_Taeyong stood up, drying the last traces of tears of his cheeks and eyes and trying to compose himself._

 

_He looked down at Taeil, who was still sitting on the couch, motionless. He could feel the pain seeping through the other’s pores, and it killed him. But deep down, he knew he was making the right choice. He had lied enough, he wanted to start doing things right, even if that meant hurting Taeil, even if it meant letting this part of his life die._

 

_“I’ll leave now,” Taeyong started, softly, watching carefully the unmoving body of his ex-boyfriend. “I’m going to move out, as well. I’ll come pick up my things as well, but later, don’t worry.”_

 

_Taeyong stood there, lip between his teeth, wondering if Taeil was going to say something to him or not. He wasn’t sure what to do. Should he wait for him to say something or should he just leave?_

 

_He was about to ask him, dumbly he knew, if he needed something, when Taeil spoke._

 

_“It’s because of Yuta, isn’t it?” His voice was calm, but he was grabbing at the fabric of his pants in a fist. “You started changing after you met him,” Taeil added, looking up and meeting Taeyong’s eyes. “What does he have that I don’t?”_

 

_Taeyong’s heart shrank when he saw how broken is ex-boyfriend looked. He never thought it would be him, the person Taeil loved the most, who would put such a pitiful look on the other’s face. And God, he hated himself so much right now._

_“It’s not…” Taeyong started, clearing his throat and pausing for a second, trying to gather his thoughts. Had it been something Yuta had? What made Taeyong feel for him? Despite the obvious physical differences, which actually didn’t matter so much to Taeyong, what was it that Yuta had that attracted Taeyong so much?_

 

_Taeyong had always thought that his type was someone similar to him, a bit on the shy side and rather silent. But after meeting Yuta, he realised he didn’t like being shy; he didn’t like keeping things to himself. He didn’t want to be scared of trying new things anymore, and little by little, Yuta had coaxed him out of his shell. He had brought out a whole new Taeyong, a Taeyong that was more confident and eager to experience life in brand new ways._

 

_“He showed me I could be a better version of myself,” he simply answered, surprising himself._

 

_Taeil too, who hadn’t been expecting an answer like that at all, looked surprised._

 

_“I just-”_

 

_“Leave.” Taeil’s voice cut him off. “Please,” he added, softly._

 

_Taeyong just nodded. “I’m sor-”_

 

_“Stop apologizing,” Taeil cut him off again. “You said all you had to say, now please leave.”_

 

_Taeyong just looked at him one more time before doing as asked,_

 

It’s really over, _Taeil thought to himself._

 

_Wow._

 

 _Being in love_ really _sucked._

 

{-}

 

“Are you waiting for Yuta?”

 

Taeyong looked up from his phone to find Ten smiling down at him.

 

“Hey,” he greeted him, motioning for him to accompany him on the seat. “I am, what brings you here?”

 

Ten sat down next to Taeyong and sighed.

 

“I actually knew you’d be here. I wanted to talk to you.” Taeyong raised an eyebrow. “About Johnny,” he rapidly added.

 

Taeyong groaned and put his phone in his pocket.

 

Ten and Jaehyun had welcomed Yuta and Taeyong’s relationship with open arms. Actually, from what Yuta told him, they had been supportive of them since Yuta had been open to them about how he felt.

 

Although the both of them agreed that Taeyong should have broken things off with Taeil before starting anything with Yuta, they were happy for them.

 

_“Don’t you think any less of me?” Taeyong asked, tears welling in his eyes. He wasn’t about to start a relationship based on lies, so he had called Ten and Jaehyun. He wanted to meet up with them and tell them everything. After all, they were his boyfriends’ best friends. He knew how important they were for Yuta, and he didn’t want them to think badly of Yuta or himself._

 

_Ten and Jaehyun had looked at Taeyong while he poured his heart out, never once interrupting or anything of the sort. They listened to him until he ran out of breath._

 

_“I’m going to be honest here, Taeyong. It’s only fair since you were, too.” Jaehyun began, “ I don’t approve of what you did to Taeil. The moment you realised you had feelings for Yuta, you should had been honest with him and broken up with him.”_

 

_Taeyong looked down, lip trapped between his teeth._

 

_“But,” Jaehyun continued, “I can’t just punish you because you fell out of love with Taeil and fell for Yuta. People can’t control these sort of things, and despite everything, I know you’re a good guy, Taeyong. You could have handled things a lot better, but I know you already feel guilty enough, there’s no need for me to remind you of your poor decisions.”_

 

_Taeyong winced, but just nodded. Jaehyun was talking nothing but the truth._

 

_“I like you, Taeyong. And you make Yuta happy, and for me that’s the most important thing. The fact that you actually thought it was necessary to talk to us and be honest says a lot about your character. It shows you want to make things right, and that you really care for Yuta.”_

 

_Taeyong looked up, caught off guard by Jaehyun’s surprisingly tender words._

 

_“If Yuta says you’re a good guy, then I believe him, but only because you have just proved to be so by being honest.”_

 

_Taeyong nodded, tears silently falling. He quickly wiped them off, embarrassed. He opened his mouth, trying to express how fucking grateful he was for Jaehyun’s words. However, the words of gratitude he so desperately tried to convey got stuck on his throat._

 

_“Aw, Yuta was right, he’s such a crybaby,” Ten teased, laughing light-heartedly. Jaehyun chuckled, too. “It’s alright, Taeyong. Don’t cry, your pitiful face is making me want to cry as well.” Ten got up from his seat and hugged Taeyong, patting his back. “There, there.”_

 

_Taeyong just laughed, and although his cheeks were starting to heat up in embarrassment, his chest felt light like a feather._

 

_“I also like you, Taeyong. You keep Yuta in check, and anyone who’s willing to deal with his annoying ass is more than welcome to our group of friends.”_

 

It had been almost three month since that conversation, and he couldn’t be more grateful for Yuta’s friends. _His friends too,_ he corrected himself. Ten and Jaehyun didn’t just accept Taeyong as Yuta’s boyfriend, but they welcomed him as friend, inviting him every time they went out and even hanging out together when Yuta was unavailable.

 

However, Johnny was another issue.

 

Johnny was friends with Taeyong and Taeil, and it was only a matter of time before he found out about what had happened.

 

Johnny had been absolutely furious, going as far as trying to kick Taeyong’s ass. Taeil had persuaded him not to. After all, he couldn’t blame Taeyong for not loving him back. Johnny had argued that he could still kick him for being a lying, cheating scumbag.

 

Several times he had tried to talk things out with him, but it was as if Johnny refused to listen. It hurt Taeyong to no end; after all, Johnny had been one of his first and closest friends.

 

Johnny had stopped hanging out with Yuta, but after a while and a lot of insistence from Yuta, they had made up and were back to being good friends. Their relationship wasn’t as fluid as it once had been, and Johnny was still a bit wary, but at least he didn’t blame Yuta for the majority of mistakes made surrounding the break-up.

 

With Taeyong, well, he couldn’t say the same.

 

“He’s willing to listen to you, if you still are interested.”

 

Ten’s words left him breathless.

 

_What?_

 

“We went shopping a couple of days ago, and well, the conversation kinda deviated toward everything that happened. I knew he was still mad, but I tried to convince him to at least listen to you, then he can decide whether he wants to forgive or not, or whatever.”

 

Ten laughed upon seeing Taeyong so baffled.

 

“Saying thanks would do the trick, you know.”

 

“Thank you!” Taeyong rushed, “Thank you, Ten. I thought, I mean, I really thought he would never give me another chance.” Taeyong looked impossible relieved. Ten grinned, affection simmering in his heart. Taeyong was just so naive and transparent sometimes, he couldn’t believe someone like him was dating Yuta. He loved his best friend, but he knew how intense he could get, and Taeyong sure didn’t look like someone who was up for a wild ride.

 

Or at least that had been his first impression. After hanging out with Taeyong for a while, Ten was pleasantly surprised to discover that behind that introverted and stern mask, there was a boy just as silly as them.

 

“Am I interrupting something?”

 

Ten and Taeyong turned their heads, eyes following the sound of Yuta’s voice.

 

Yuta walked towards them and bended a little, so he could kiss Taeyong on the mouth.

 

“Hey, baby,” Taeyong smiled, tugging Yuta by the hand so he could sit on his lap.

 

“Hey, yourself,” greeted his boyfriend back, mirroring Taeyong’s smile in a heartbeat.

 

“Unfair, where’s my kiss, Yuta? Am I not your baby, too?” Yuta just rolled his eyes but leaned over, kissing Ten’s cheek noisily.

 

“Still unfair, how come Taeyong gets a peck on the lips and I don’t?” Ten continued whining.

 

“What would Jaehyun say if he sees me kissing his boy?” Yuta said back, raising an eyebrow. Taeyong just muffled his laugh behind Yuta’s back

 

Ten flushed and hit Yuta on the arm.

 

“Shut up, we are not dating.”

 

“Sure, whatever you say.”

 

Ten huffed and stood up. “I didn’t come here to be attacked like this. I’m leaving, you bunch of assholes.” He gave the couple an icy glare and walked away.

 

“You should stop being mean to him, you know.” Taeyong suddenly said. Yuta just smirked at him and got up from his boyfriend’s lap, extending his hand and wiggling his fingers.

 

Taeyong interlaced their fingers and got up as well, bumping shoulders with him.

 

“He’ll come around.”

 

“It’s just frustrating to seem them, the sexual tension is killing me. I don’t know how you can hang out with them,” Yuta complained.

 

Taeyong just shook his head, already used to his boyfriend’s antics. Yuta just looked at him, pensive.

 

“What did he want?”

 

“He told me Johnny is willing to talk to me.” Taeyong was pulled back when Yuta stopped in his tracks, face lighting up with joy.

 

“That’s great!” Yuta wrapped his arms around Taeyong’s shoulder and squeezed him tightly. “That’s great, baby. I’m so glad for you, I know how much Johnny means to you.” Taeyong hugged him by the waist, resting his head on his boyfriend’s collarbone.

 

“Thank you, love.” Taeyong sighed, letting Yuta’s warm embrace him, “I’m really happy. I don’t know if he’ll forgive me or if our relationship will go back to how it used to be, but I’m just happy he’s giving me a chance.”

 

Yuta untangled his arms from around Taeyong and softly took his face between his hands, forcing Taeyong to look him in the eyes.

 

“It’s alright, I’ll be here for you, okay? I’m sure he’ll come around, you two are great friends, I don’t really think he’ll stay mad at you forever.” Taeyong smiled lovingly at the man in front of him, comfort oozing from him. Yuta always made him feel better.

 

“I hope so.”

 

Yuta stroked his cheeks with his thumbs, smiling radiantly.

 

“I know so.”

 

Taeyong put his hands on top of Yuta’s and leaned over, successfully capturing Yuta’s lips in a kiss. His boyfriend kissed him back immediately, smiling into the kiss.

 

When Yuta pulled back and looked at Taeyong, adoration swirling in his eyes, Taeyong’s heart skipped a beat. He was so beautiful like this, looking at Taeyong with such a lovely expression on his face, as if he couldn’t believe how lucky he was.

 

“I love you,” Taeyong whispered, breathless; Yuta always managed to steal his breath away. Even after everything they had gone through, even if he got to look at his face everyday, he just couldn’t get use to it. Having Yuta in his arms felt unreal.  “I really love you.”

 

“And I love _you._ I really love you,” Yuta answered back, before he leaned in, stealing a kiss from Taeyong.

 

And just like that, Taeyong felt like whatever he had to gone through to end up with Yuta was worth it. The pain, the tears, the guilt, the heartbreak.

 

Because loving Yuta was the easiest, most painless thing in the world.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it to this point, THANK YOU!
> 
> First of all, a HUGE shout out to my amazing beta Eden! <3 She did such an amazing job, I couldn't be happier with the result. This story doesn't suck because she did her magic and transform my crappy fic into something wonderful. She helped a lot and even guided me through some questionable parts. So yeah, thank you so much, lovely!
> 
> There're SO many things I want to say about this:
> 
> 1-I spent a whole year writing this lmao I'm a loser and a slow-ass writer  
> 2- This whole story was inspired by "Baby Don't Like It" hence the title. Originally, this story was titled after the song but there are like, lots of fics with the same name so yeah, I changed it a little lol  
> 3-I planned this story for an entire summer before writing it (with one of my bffs)  
> 4- I did't expect this fic to become in such a monster  
> 5-I'M NEVER GOING TO WRITE SOMETHING SO LONG AGAIN WHAT THE HECK  
> 6-Actually, there were lots of deleted scenes because this shit was getting super huge.  
> 7-PLEASE DO NOT HATE TAEYONG, YUTA OR TAEIL. I LOVE THE THREE OF THEM WITH ALL MY HEART! I don't expect all of you to actually understand Taeyong's character, but feelings are complicated so don't be too harsh on him. I wanted to write about the process of falling out in love so I hope it wasn't too bad.  
> 8-Thank you so much for reading this story uwu I love YuTae a lot and I miss them and I need more fics about them lol so here's my contribution I guess  
> 9-Please leave a comment! I really want to know what you think of this fic since I put so much effort in it lol
> 
> That's all!
> 
> Have a great day!


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